Making up my mind

I used to say I would like to go home really bad to start my carreer and celebrate my parents' 25th anniversary. The other time I liked to say I think I'd like to stay here a bit longer, get a job, stay close with him, continue serving my Lord in Xrds. There was no one certain answer, yes I was confused.

I think I start making up my mind........I'm trying my best to stay in Holland and finding a fixed job, if I can't find one till then..I'm going back for good :) I may be feeling sad when finally I have to go back to Indonesia for good without getting a job. However, if I never tried and did some efforts to find job here and just go back, I would be much sorry for myself.

It's hard to look from God's point of view but He always reminds me to keep trying and keep praying...so that I may find out what He has been preparing for me in the future.
Once my good friend told me that for each of us, God actually has provided a reward somewhere there...the problem is how can we run after it. Just like in a running competition, the reward is there waiting in the finish line, but how can we get it if we never start running to reach it.

Well I think that what life is all about... :)