Kembali ke Belanda

Akhirnya perjuangan selama 10 bulan di Sweden berakhir juga. Rasanya lega sekali karena saya sudah kembali ke habitat saya di Belanda meskipun harus menumpang di rumah teman. Mengapa bukan Indonesia yang saya rindukan? Sayapun tidak tahu bagaimana menjelaskan fenomena ini. Yang jelas, Belanda telah menjadi kampung halaman saya yang kedua setelah rumah ortu.
Situasi di sini tidak banyak berubah, mungkin karena tiga minggu yang lalu saya sempat pulang satu minggu untuk interview.

Satu program yang berakhir bukan berarti saya bisa tenang sambil berleha-leha sekarang. Tugas-tugas yang baru telah menanti untuk diselesaikan begitu saya sampai di Belanda. Terbukti begitu saya sampai, saya harus pergi ke baggage service untuk menanyakan kemana perginya koper saya yang ternyata masih tertinggal di Stockholm karena ada masalah teknis (alias: mesin penyalur kopernya rusak). Mungkin hal ini tidak ada hubungannya dengan apa yang saya tuliskan di awal alinea ini, tetapi saya sadar perjalanan masih panjang dan tugas-tugas semakin berat. Nyatanya setelah itu, saya tidak bisa beristirahat sampai malam harinya (catatan: saya sampai jam 10 pagi di Amsterdam) dikarenakan beberapa acara telah menunggu seperti menemani Via beli panci di centrum, dilanjutkan acara BBQnya Hariadi yang merayakan hari ultahnya 2 minggu yang lalu.
Cape...cape sekali, but I really enjoyed it..(huhu ngelantur lagi). Ya begitulah saya tidak akan cerita panjang lebar..tapi banyak yang harus saya kerjakan setelah ini.

Jalan hidup saya masih panjang dan semakin berliku-liku, tetapi setiap satu terselesaikan berarti saya semakin lebih dekat ke tujuan hidup yang ingin saya capai. Maka dari itu untuk bertahan dengan semuanya ini kuncinya hanya mempertahankan harapan saya dan berusaha mewujudkannya dengan bimbingan yang di Atas. Saya percaya kalau Dia sudah berencana, sesulit apapun itu Dia pasti buka jalan.

When it's time to say goodbye

Winter Semester
Time passed so fast, I remembered the first day when I came to Sweden was also the day when I said goodbye to everyone in Schipol airport.
Few days later after that day, I knew you all for the first time. We met and introduced each other and then walked together to the campus. That 30 minutes journey was felt like 5 minutes when I spent my time to get to know you.
We had many parties every week even I seldom came joining, you still remembered me and never gave up to invite me and my housemate. We formed group together in the class, visited each other just to say hi or shared the same feeling of being in foreign country, had dinner together with many kinds of cuisines from our countries, even got on the cruise trip together. How could I forget those memories...those are more than just pictures that I took with my camera.

Some of you were staying with me and my other Indonesian friends until this spring semester, but some of you left after the winter semester. I cried and I was so sad when someone of us was going back to France, then the next day some also went back to Germany, more and more farewell parties until my turn to go on my Christmas holiday in Holland I said goodbye to my Chinese friends who would be gone when I came back after the new year.

Spring Semester
New year was coming, I returned to Sweden again...some of you were still packing for your leaving while new people were coming for the Spring Semester. Again, one of you were back to South Africa and got ready for your wedding. The week after, two of us also left for Greece one would continue his study and the other was preparing for his army academic year in the military camp.

(I hate to get to know someone again when I know I'll have to say goodbye some months later but that's life...)
We who were still in Gavle since last winter started to introduce ourselves again to new comers from Netherlands, Spain, Italy, and Greece again. Didn't mean forgeting you who have left but at least we tried to open our heart to welcome new friends. We started all over again with new funs and laughter and kept wishing that you had been still here with us and our new pals.

10 months have almost passed since we came to this country. Those farewell parties were returning. Sadness, tears, and wishes to meet again someday in the future were uttered even more for you who have stayed here with us for the whole year. More and more people are leaving but this moment, no new people come until next August 2005. I shouldn't say that they leave us behind in Gavle but I thank God that they're now continuing with their life to reach what we're dreaming of. So when it's time to say goodbye even I'm sad or crying...I'd like to send you off with a big smile as a silent sign that we are so glad to know you here in Gavle.

=Dedicated to all of foreign students of University of Gefle 2004/2005 who had a great time in Satra, Gavle, Sweden. P.F. 12 June 2005=

Misery...

What a nice weather today, unfortunately I'm not in a happy mode as the sunshine. Don't know what's wrong but I just can't feel better. I went to the city with my pals, ate ice cream, had a chicken kebab as my dinner, tried to cheer myself but it just didn't work at all. I was wishing that someone would ask me by sms how was I doing..but nothing happened with my mobile. It just keeps silent till now just it used to be everyday every night. I wish I could do the same thing..not thinking about someone and about what is he doing now? is he still sad?........I just can't. I hate myself to be like this......wanna cry but my eyes have been dry enough since the last time I cried a lot. Not many can be expected to be come true even I made a lot of wishes and pray everyday....he said he just can't; one is time-wasted and he's too lazy to do it because he's busy and another one is just too expensive to do.....What should I do???? I'm speechless and thinking to give up. have no idea except waiting and extending my patience. May God helps me through this...

Story 4: Amsterdam here I come

I am caught in the moment with people I don't know. Finally, I'm in Amsterdam alone for the first time. An hour ago, I was so happy that I could enter my room. Without thinking so much, I took shower, dressed up, grabbed my key, and ran for the next train to Amsterdam. I was so pissed off by Tifa who left me without key in my hand, actually it was my own fault not remembering to take my key with me. But still, I got a little bit angry with her. She seemed hiding her plan to go to Zandvoort with Fajar from me.

So where am I going now?? I walk myself from the central station to the bridge where I can see some tourist boats by the Amstel river side. The weather is quite chilly and windy, even I wear my long underwear, I can still feel my feet trembling. I speed up my foot steps and go to the next place that I remembered when the last time I went to Amsterdam with Lia. It's about a month ago. I want to see the dam square, if I find it then I am (really) in Amsterdam. It's there...I can see it from distance a big square with the old castle and other big building around it. When I arrive right on the spot, I see some pigeons are there waiting for someone dropping snacks. Not as many as the first time I arrived in Amsterdam, it was summer, but they are still there now protecting their tiny bodies from the wind by making themselves looked fatter with those grey feathers. "Stubborn pigeons" I mumble while staring at them.

I wait until a trem passing by before I cross the street to the other side of the square with a famous monument that I forget the name and a big department store Bijenkorf on my left. Where am I suppose to go now? I look around and it seems everyone is the citizens of this region. My eyes suddenly catch a odd view in a corner of this square. A tourist group with a guide is having a trip around the city. "follow them", those are two words that I can think of in three seconds when seeing them heading to the side of this city that I've never been before.

Walking straight forward on a small path behind the square, this should end at the China town of Amsterdam, but it doesn't. I find myself in a place where high ancient buildings and typical Dutch houses are blocking the light. In the middle of that place stands a huge old church from black bricks and some long plants on its wall. The guide is speaking a language that I don't understand and the tourists are taking pictures of that weird place. I just keep following them as a stranger.

Then, they go to another small street between two buildings that have many glass windows and doors. I'm curious what they are "wow"ing about and walk to the small street to find out. One sexy girl is standing in front of the glass window, another one in a room besides her is trying to invite a guy to come in, another girl in the glass room on my opposite is fixing her bra, and many on my way to the edge of the street some also covered with red curtains. What the heck is this place?

I find fresh air again by the end of the street. A river in front of me with lots of bicycles on its sides and some bridges. I lost the tourist group but I don't care anymore since I couldn't take my eyes of what I've experienced. Well, it's six o'clock now..time to go home. At least, I've got enough fun and a fascinating adventure for myself.

Back in my room, I found no one there. My roomate, she should have come by now but she's not there. The room is just like when I left it. I think I know where she is, I go downstair to the first floor and knock on Lia's door. I'm right, she's there...she looks so happy when seeing me arrived. "Thanks God, finally you're here...I forgot my key when I was in hurry." that what she says to me. Ups..I notice both of us are just the same that time..she doesn't remember about the hostel assistant either who has a master key. Poor Willy..we hardly remember that we have a hostel assistant. Owari...^^;

Story 3: Boy's costumes

Karnaval masih berlangsung meskipun perlahan-lahan orang-orang mulai pergi. Aku masih saja terpaku di depan komputer dengan muka masam. Internet sudah bukan sesuatu yang menarik perhatianku lagi, konsentrasiku buyar aku tidak tahu website mana yang ingin aku buka atau website apa yang sedang aku lihat sekarang. Aku ingin kunciku, aku ingin kembali ke kamarku!! teriakku dalam hati.

Sesaat kemudian, si Oki muncul dari pintu lift yang tepat berada beberapa meter saja dari meja komputerku. Mendapati hanya aku orang Indonesia yang sedang berada di ruang komputer itu, wajah si cowok satu ini menjadi berseri-seri dan segera menghampiriku. Selidik punya selidik, ternyata Oki sedang mau ke Amsterdam cari kerja part-time, dia juga tahu aku sedang pengangguran saat itu. Buatnya hal ini adalah kesempatan baik untuk mengajakku mencari kerja juga meskipun aku bisa membaca dari raut mukanya kalau dia hanya butuh teman pergi.

Setelah kutimbang-timbang memang aku tidak akan tahan dalam keadaan sini sampai Tifa pulang. Aku harus pergi untuk melepaskan kekesalanku. Oki memang datang pada saat yang tepat meskipun ada maksud lain dibalik ajakannya. Hanya satu masalah, aku masih memakai piyama dan sepasang sandal. Ini bukan pakaian yang layak untuk pergi di tengah cuaca sedingin ini. Oki menyadari keadaanku lalu menawarkan meminjamkan jaket dan sepatu ketsnya.

Baju pergi Oki memang banyak, dia juga punya beberapa jaket musim dingin, dan sepatunya pun ada beberapa pasang hanya satu masalah Oki bukan cewek. Dia menawarkanku sepasang sepatunya dan jaketnya yang menurutnya paling kecil. Setelah aku memakainya aku merasa badanku mengecil ketika bayanganku terpantul di cermin dengan sepatu yang lima nomer lebih besar dari ukuranku dan jaket yang lengannya 10 cm lebih panjang dari ukuran tanganku.

Dengan tinggi badan 167 cm dan berat 55 Kg, aku memang bukan seorang cewek yang mungil dan imut dan entah mengapa aku juga mempunyai sindrom melihat cowok-cowok sebayaku selalu tampak lebih pendek dari aku. Yang aku tahu, sepertinya keadaanku ketika aku SD memang cukup berpengaruh. Aku adalah cewek paling tinggi selama SD minimal itulah yang guru-guruku bilang ketika aku harus berbaris di baris paling belakang dan teman cowok di kelasku pun belum ada yang setinggi aku. Tentu saja ketika SMU pandangan itu berubah ketika para cowo mulai tumbuh begitu cepatnya dan masa pertumbuhanku hampir berhenti. But still...I have that syndrom.

Cukup shock juga ketika aku menyadari betapa kecilnya aku dalam baju Oki. Oki yang selama ini juga kuanggap kira-kira lima senti lebih pendek dariku. Kualihkan pandanganku ke Oki, dan dia tampak tersenyum puas bercampur geli melihat keadaanku. Aku bukan pacarnya tentu saja penampilanku pun bukan masalah baginya selama menurutnya jaket dan sepatunya cukup melindungiku dari cuaca dingin. Wajahku kembali masam sambil melepas kembali jaket dan sepatunya. Kukatakan maaf padanya karena aku sedang tidak mood untuk pergi dan segera keluar dari kamarnya yang berada di lantai dua selantai dengan kamarku juga.

"Hi, how are you?" Sapaan Willy yang cukup menyentak lamunanku di koridor lantai dua itu. Willy, Willy si asisten student hostel itu baru saja pulang belanja. Betapa bodohnya aku, orang ini selalu punya kunci master untuk semua pintu. Dengan segera aku menghampirinya dan menceritakan masalahku. Dengan berdecak keheranan, akhirnya diapun meminjamkan kunci itu padaku. Hore aku bisa masuk kamarku lagi. Dank je wel Will!!

Story 2: Morning's Accident

Haarlem, 5 Desember 2002, Saint Nicholas dag. Hampir lima bulan sudah aku berada di Negara kincir angin ini. Aku sungguh menikmati hari-hariku di sini meskipun sekarang cuaca sudah semakin dingin. Tahun ini adalah musim dingin pertamaku dan aku berharap untuk melihat salju untuk pertama kalinya dalam hidupku. Seperti apakah butiran-butiran salju itu? Apakah mirip kapas-kapas yang menghias pohon natal di gerejaku tiap tahun Cuma yang satu ini lebih dingin mungkin? Tetapi sampai awal bulan Desember ini, tak ada satu tandapun bahwa salju akan turun di samping angin dan temperatur yang cukup dingin untuk membuat es krim tidak akan meleleh.

Hari ini adalah hari perayaan santa Nikolas. Pagi itu aku bangun lebih awal dari hari-hari liburku pada umumnya hanya untuk mendapatkan sebuah komputer kosong di lantai dasar dan menikmati internet selama mungkin. Sejam saja aku terlambat bangun, mungkin aku harus menunggu minimal satu jam berikutnya untuk mengantri internet yang hanya tersedia di tiga komputer di ruang dasar itu. Apalagi karena hari ini hari libur, banyak student lain yang memutuskan tinggal di asrama saja daripada harus berjalan atau bersepeda menembus udara dingin ke sekolah hanya untuk mengirim sepucuk email.

Sekitar jam 10, terdengar alunan musik karnaval di depan asrama. Santa Nikolas dan Piet Hitamnya sedang bernyanyi sambil membagi-bagikan coklat kepada anak-anak dan orang tuanya yang berkumpul di depan asramaku yang kebetulan dibangun dari bekas bangunan tua Heilig Hart Kerk (gereja Hati Kudus). Aku meninggalkan komputerku dengan sebuah dokumen word terbuka dengan harapan orang lain akan mengira aku sedang dalam proses membuat tugas. Aku berlari menuju pintu depan gereja dengan masih mengenakan sandal dan piyamaku. Di tengah jalan aku bertemu dengan roomateku Tifa telah berpakaian rapi dan siap pergi dengan Fajar teman setanah air yang kebetulan kamarnya tepat di depan kamarku dan Tifa. Mau kemana dua orang itu sepagi ini? tanyaku dalam hati. Tifa segera menyingkapi keherananku dan mengatakan dia mau nge-apply langganan hp di Zandvoort dan Fajar yang tahu tempatnya. Sebelum aku sempat berkata sepatah katapun, Tifa tampak terburu-buru mengajak Fajar pergi karena kereta jurusan Haarlem-Zandvoort Cuma datang 30 menit sekali. Diapun hanya sempat melambaikan tangannya dan berlari menembus kerumunan orang ketika aku meneriakan beberapa patah kata yang tak mungkin lagi didengarnya, ”Tif, aku ga bawa kunci ka mar....” Kamar di gereja ini cuma bisa dibuka dari dalam tetapi tidak dari luar tanpa kunci.

Terlambat sudah, pagi itu aku terperangkap dalam baju tidurku berdiri di belakang gerombolan orang yang mengelilingi santa dan piet hitamnya. Musik karnaval itu seolah-olah menjadi background musik yang cukup menertawakan ketidakberuntunganku pagi itu hanya karena kecanggihan teknologi yang disebut internet aku lupa membawa kunci kamarku.

Story1: The Beginning

Bandara Juanda Surabaya, 16 Agustus 2002, hari itu cuaca cerah matahari bersinar terang dan cukup menyengat untuk membuat orang-orang yang ada di bandara siang itu berkali-kali menyeka keringat. Dengan tergesa-gesa, papa memintaku cepat check in setelah mendapatkan tiketku. Sampai-sampai dia lupa kalau aku belum berpamitan dengan mama yang menunggu di pintu luar. Sekali lagi aku berlari keluar dari gate keberangkatan dan menemukan mamaku. Kupeluk erat mama untuk terakhir kali, beliau tampak kuat ketika mengatakan selamat jalan kepadaku. Aku pun membalasnya dengan senyum dan sekali lagi meyakinkannya kalau aku akan baik-baik saja. Kulayangkan padanganku untuk terakhir kali ke sekitarku, kurasakan udara kota Surabaya di siang bolong itu, dan segera berlari masuk sebelum suasana menjadi semakin dramatis.

Hidup terpisah dari keluargaku bukan hal yang baru lagi. Selama SMU akupun hidup terpisah dari keluargaku selama kurang lebih tiga tahun lamanya. Hanya ketika liburan datang mungkin aku pulang ke Kediri itupun tidak teralu sering. Hal yang bisa membuatku merasa berat meninggalkan tanah airku untuk melanjutkan studiku dan mungkin menjadi penyesalanku yang paling dalam adalah tentang seseorang di sana.

Aku mengenalnya selama tiga tahun di Semarang. Dalam waktu yang terhitung cukup lama itu, aku dan dia baru menyadari bahwa ada rasa di antara kami tepat dua bulan sebelum keberangkatanku ke Belanda. Sebulan kemudian aku resmi lulus dari SMU dan pulang ke kotaku. Kenangan terakhir yang kami buat hanyalah sebuah janji untuk bertemu yang tak pernah aku penuhi karena papa tidak mengijinkanku pergi ke Semarang hanya untuk mengikuti retreat selama beberapa hari lalu pulang lagi. Beliau berpikir itu hanya akan membuang uang dan mengurangi waktuku untuk belajar bahasa Belanda sebelum berangkat.

Selama waktu sebulan itu, hanya sms dan sepucuk surat saja yang menjadi penghubung di antara kami. Pada malam sebelum keberangkatanku, aku memutuskan untuk melepas perasaanku dengan mengirimkan satu sms terakhir untuknya. Dengan berat hati dan dari perasaanku yang paling dalam aku mendoakan semoga dia menemukan seseorang yang cocok untuknya.

Panggilan terakhir sudah diumumkan, pintu pesawatpun telah ditutup. Pesawat Malaysian Airlines dengan jurusan Surabaya-Singapore-Belanda inipun siap tinggal landas. Tak setetes air matapun mengalir dari mataku, meskipun masih ada yang mengganjal di hatiku. Kualihkan pandanganku ke teman-teman baruku, beberapa di antara mereka masih terisak adapula yang tak sabar menunggu kapal terbang ini melesat ke angkasa. Pesawat mulai menuju landasan pacu. Sekali lagi aku menarik napas panjang dan berkata pada diriku sendiri aku tak menyesal, ini adalah jalan hidupku.

DON'T READ THIS POST!!

If you are dropping by on my blog and see this please just skip this post. Don't ever look at it or even try to read this. This post is not published to be read. There are plenty other posts that contain something than this one. Nothing is being talked here, believe me.

Why are you still reading it? Is it not clear enough what I have told you before? geez you're stubborn enough. Like what people say, a command is there to be broken. If there is no command or prohibition, nothing will be broken or disobeyed, right? Just like those of you who are still reading this writing. I cleary tell you to skip it or just go to another webpage instead of reading my blog but you're still reading it anyway. What's wrong with you guys?? Is that so enjoyable to break a rule?? C'mon you don't want to be that bad, do you? Our parents always want us to be good and obidient and that what you should be now.

Humans are a unique creature. GOD has created them to have what is called free will. Therefore, people always have big curiousities towards everything and then a desire to know more, have more or just keep it and leave it like that. It is all your own decision. Just like Adam and Eve, they would have been in Eden until our generation if they had not chosen to taste the forbidden fruit. GOD likes if we want to know more about the truth and search for it, and He will satisfy us. On the other side, satan also loves if we want to know more and he plays with our curiousity about something that we shouldn't know but he plays tricks by saying you will never know until you experience it by yourself (clever he?). But GOD said "blessed those who have have not seen and yet have believed". Thus, don't play with your curiousity. We were not born to know everything and it is impossible to know all things except GOD. There are so many things that we cannot understand and all we can do is just "believing". So why you don't just believe me and keep reading until this point?


Ok, I admit it is good to know that "curiousity" is needed to help someone develop him/herself. The more you want to know and search for the truths the more knowledgeable you are. Unfortunately, I should let you down by reading this so far you get nothing but your big curiousity about what I'm trying to say. Well, prove it by yourself. If you read this sentence, it means that you have a very big curiousity, if not you have left this page since couples minutes a go. I don't play any trick..it just because you and I are created to be someone who are wondering about new thing and something that we have never known or done it before.

Least but not last thank you for wondering along with me till this part. Let me remind you one more time, this is the very last sentence please do not force yourself to continue even you see some words just ignore them okay??
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hahahaahahahahahhahhhhahahahahaa....................Gotcha.....got yaaa :p :p

Job hunting season...

If I can take a metaphor, students who are looking for internships now are like hunters who are hunting in the woods. Some are really hard workers and do all ways and then expect maybe some animals will fall into their traps, some trust on their luck-fates just by doing less and waiting, other are quite detail and have well-planned strategies to get the big ones, and there are also some others who are scared before trying and just wait outside the woods and perhaps there will be a deer jumping over the street.

Ones who are scared are the pessimist type. They do not believe on their own abilities and often see that the neighbors' gardens are always greener. It does not mean that those people are incapable or have fewer talents than the others who go for big hunting seasons. It just because they need more courage and support from the surrounds and more self-confidence to say "yes, I can do it, I will go for it."

In contrast, there are also the over-optimistic people. The hunters who believe they are the lucky ones because he/she has more qualifications than others. This confidence shows up because perhaps he/she got the high rank at school or he/she has a lot of talents and other supports. Those people might be ones who companies search for. But since the person is capable in many things, sometimes he/she falls because he/she overestimates of himself or herself. They would tend to do fewer efforts with expectation that the chance will be higher for them to be accepted. On the other hand, mostly the failure of this type is their too many abilities that all are mentioned in the resume/CV. We know that certain jobs need more specific qualifications too. It's better to master one thing than to be average in many things.

The hard worker types often have bigger chance to get jobs (but not always) than other hunter types. They send applications randomly to all job offers that they can find with less considering whether it is the job that they desire or not. As long as they get the interview they will take it first and keep it until they get another offer then choosing the better one. I would say this is the common ways to do for most students who want to get an internship. Just by composing one application letter and a resume then changing the name of the company and date every time there is a new job offered. It is easy and faster but in quality, it might be questioned.

The well-planned type is not the best one either. Believe it or not, these people spend more time and work twice harder than other types just to make one good application. The strategy maybe just like the over-optimistic one but the effort is more worth. The problem is that there is sky above the clouds, there might be someone better or sometimes the company prefers who is faster is the winner. More than that, it is all about "luck" aspect; when the applicants are too many the one who in charge of recruiting new trainees may just take randomly some of the applicants and then select the best one.

Maybe the combination between hard worker and well planned type could be the best match but again who knows? I don't, either do you who are still looking for internships like me now. However it is only my opinion while I am about wondering getting the right job soon. I really want to enjoy my internship time and gain another experience just like my friends who are doing their best in finishing their internships now.

Chance or bad luck

Once a shoe company wanted to open a new market in some parts of Africa. For that reason, the director sent one of his salesmen to an area called zeke-zeke to introduce some models of the company shoes and sell them. Unfortunately, no zeke-zeke's inhabitant was wearing shoes. They even didn't know what it's called a pair of shoes. The salesman came back to the head office and made a report to his boss.
Dear Sir,

I'd like to apologize for dissapointing you. After doing some research, I found that our product will come into a failure if we still continue to with the old campaign of entering zeke-zeke. Therefore I suggest to consider other places where the people like wearing shoe. However thank you for trusting me.

sincerely,

...

The director was still uncertain with the result of the first salesman. For the second time, he sent another salesman to Zeke-zeke to promote the shoes. When the second salesman arrived and saw there was no one wearing shoes. He got so excited and quickly send a telegram to his boss.
Dear Sir,

Our product seems able to gain a big niche in this area. It is a perfect time to enter Zeke-zeke, because no competitor was exist yet and we can be the first and the trend setter for the people in wearing shoes. This market will bring a bright future for our company since they will wear only our shoes. We should keep going with the plan and hopefully in short time we can get the result.

Yours faithfully,
...
It's a good news for the director and he was very satisfied with the second salesman and then he fired the first one...(what a poor guy) ^^;

Maybe some of you have heard this story; I just re-write it anyway. I even forgot who told me the story more less want to tell how different people are looking to the same problem. In other words I'd like to say it's about thinking positively and be optimist in facing certain situations.

Sometimes, a simple problem can be seen as something really matter and bigger than it actually is because of the bad thoughts often come first before the others. Just like me when my assignments almost meet the due time. I always wish to have more time so that I could make it better (the fact I hardly get wish come true). But the time extension just makes me even lazier than before as I think I have more time, more time to rest and make the report peacefully. The effect most of the time was even worse than if I keep on my exact schedule. The break time makes me forget about the crucial thing that I should get it done and when I suddenly remember it no much time left...and it does squeeze my brain from the day until the next morning just to have myself write 15 pages report.........c'mon give me a break!!!! (the fact I've got a lot already).

It will be different when I have a week left and I think the course is gonna finish soon..very soon. With less pressure I make myself do the work and enjoy it day by day until the deadline day. It is not the dead day anymore..it's my independence day horrayy!!!...I couldn't wait till that days come. But for now I'm just keep myself busy with lots of papers, classes and assignments and still having fun though. I'm trying my best to enjoy my busy days and keep in God's plan and control. I hope the same things to you too pals!!!