Bug's Tale--counting the days and making wishes

Consistency

2007-09-06T10:30:00.001+02:00

Yep..being consistent is difficult. The easiest example of inconsistency is this blog. I thought it was very fun to do whatever I like with my blog. This is my own creation and I can write whatever comes over my mind including the language selection.....and also my decision to end this post now!

Learn when to stop or go on

2007-08-20T13:00:00.000+02:00

Many say that work hard for living. The Bible says, you who are lazy don't eat. Well I don't deny it, when I started working I learn that earning income is not as easy as asking money from my parents. We do need to do some works in order to live in real world or when we decide to start living independently apart from our parents including their financial help.

The other also say when something allows you to earn more money you should keep doing it. This time this sentence has stopped me for a moment before I agree on it. Some thoughts are popping out in my mind,

whether it is absolutely right statement or not,

will it make me happy to have more money?

Will my saving enough to cover all my costs if I don't do part-time job?

or

If I continue, could it lead me to be a "money's slave? (this one is scary)

Then I look back at myself and ask, "are you strong enough to work seven days a week? I mean five weeks in the office and two days part-time during weekend?" Honestly, my body and my mind can't really handle it. To have extra income from weekend job is tempting
but
to be with my beloved and my friends during weekend are even more alluring.
My bf often comments that usually that exhausted tiring face and voice are always there everytime I finish my part-time work and then he gets upset that I have only a short time to chat with him because I directly go to bed an hour later after coming home. Just for your information the take-away shop where I work is in another city that takes me about one-hour for one-way trip.

What a long thinking that I had. Until two weeks ago I still considered it is ok to work on the weekend because my friends can do that and so can I. Then last Saturday I hurt my own back while tyring to lift a heavy crate of frozen food back to the fridge at my work (it did make "cracky" sound). After the little incident, I could barely stand up well when I woke up on Sunday morning. Actually I still have to work that afternoon in the same place. I went to church but my mind was not on ease, kept thinking whether I should go to work or stay and take a rest. I asked forgiveness from God for not focusing all my heart and mind during the service.
Finally after it finished I made my decision and called my lady-boss to cancel my work today. It was quite a shame as in Holland when you have made an appointment it surely is impolite to cancel it in less than two hours before the appointment time.

However, on the other hand, I think that I had made a right decision that time. I might lose my job but it is better than I fall sick even more and cannot work anymore.

What I learn so far is to know my own condition...and realize that everyone has different limit and capabilities.

At the peak

2007-08-13T16:28:00.000+02:00

After almost two weeks of reading manual finally I gave up and almost bored-to-dead. One hour for me it feels like forever. But I told everyone that I have finished reading it (just trying to make good impression he?!). It was last Thursday's afternoon, five minutes before 17.00 when finally I closed the Yellow manual folder and bravely stepped into my (temporary) supervisor's office and (ehm) challenged him to give me job to do or I quit...ups...I mean I take a day off for the following day (Friday).

Honestly, I was having a little hope that he will let me off on Friday because anyway on Monday my real boss from other department is coming from his vacation and he's going to give me my first assignment. Unexpectably, he tried to guess my mind and uttered it to me, "I know that you actually don't want to take a day off, right?"

"umm..yeah right!" I smiled strangely while answering back (I hope he couldn't read my expression).

And he continued, "I have a plan for you, there are some things that you can do tomorrow."

I asked, "for a half day and then I can leave earlier?" (with blinking eyes which show full expectations)

"No, it is something that I hope can be done for one full day," with smiling over his face because the problem solved.

"OUCH!!" (Homer's style on mute mode)..."well ok I'll come to your office tomorrow"

And the next day, I did do some works for him for the whole day. In the end I still left some works unfinished when the time had shown ten to six.
Time did fly very fast, when there is something to do. Well for now I can say I love working than doing nothing :p . Am I trying to be cool? Naaahh..no comment

After all I really learnt my lesson...

Back to the office back my old habit

2007-08-07T14:06:00.000+02:00

Trust me I can't stay awake without at least three cups of coffee a day....Moreover until my supervisor is back to the office I have to finish two big binders of reading materials. I don't want to say this in front of my colleagues but reading too long has caused me to feel bored and sleepy for the whole day. Hiks I miss my pillow and bed......

I hope it is just the beginning...they say everyone has to go through the same pattern........but for how long???

We'll see and wait ok?!!

Tadaimaaa.....

2007-08-03T16:38:00.000+02:00

I'm back after letting this blog vacant for the whole two months...
I have a new blog...special dedicated for my favorite hobby: watching Japanese drama hohohoho (laughing proudly like Shin-Chan posing Action Kamen).
The address: le4theflea.wordpress.com (I cannot stand the temptation to create a blog at Wordpress) (~o~).
Unfortunately it's still a mess...only some posts are there.

Ok it's almost 5 I have to go home now

Cheers,

Lea

Cerita tempo doeloe...Pergi ke Jerman featuring Anna, Silvia, dan Adi

2007-08-03T16:26:00.000+02:00

Bahasa: Indonesianya Lea tempo doeloe tahun 2003 (anak Indo yang tidak bisa berbahasa Indonesia dan baru belajar bahasa Belanda)

Hi,
humm...mau crita apa ya?kejadian kemaren bener2 masih cukup mengejutkan,lucu,cukup adventourlijk jg,menyebalkan,tapi fun jg,sing pasti sangat membekukan kaki ama tangan,membasahi badan juga,terakhir yang pasti melelahkan pyuuuuhhhh. Sebanyak itu terjadi dalam 13 1/2 jam di Keulen. (ati2 aku bakal ngoceh banyak lagi nih yang gak sempet diceritain di telpon).

Location: Schoterstraat Haarlem
ceritanya kemaren masang weker jam 4.30 tapi baru pada bangun jam 5.15. si Adi malah masih sempet2nya mandi. aku, Via, en Anna dah siap ae (ceritanya bukan belum mandi lho ya...malemnya udah). akhirnya cabut ke amster jam 6.11 pakai vol tarif lagi...(asli kaya masih malem banget...ramalannya sunnya baru keluar jam 9)

Location: Amsterdam NS
Anna dikabari Tata en Tg baru berangkat dari Haarlem. Kira2 jam 7 kretanya dateng si ICE (asli keren banget dalem'e) orang2 udah ramai juga di peron 4 pagi itu. Pas kreta dateng Tata Tg pas dateng jg..akhirnya berangkat juga 10 mnt kemudian.

Location: ICE
jalurnya sih cukup panjang dari central trus lewat Duivendrecht mo ke Utrecht-Arnhem-Oberhausen Hbf-Dusseldorf Hbf.Taunya sampai di Arnhem yang udah ketutup salju dimana-mana...tau gak ternyata kita salah gerbong ama tempat duduk. Akhirnya pada mengungsi deh sekampung....ke gerbong lain yang ternyata lebih exclusive...(huaaa rugi kenapa gak dari tadi) masalahnya tadi Anna salah liat tiket yang buat pulangnya ntar. Gak isa lama2 d di sana meskipun kereta udah kena vetraging 20 mnt. Pd waktu sampai di Dusseldorf rata2 semuanya lagi pada bangun tidur.

Location: Dusseldorf Hbf (NS)
gara2 divertraging kita akhirnya ketinggalan kereta yang buat overstappen ke Koln Hbf dan kereta ICE selanjutnya baru berangkat 1 jam kemudian. Akhirnya abis tanya kanan kiri plus pada kademen kabeh...jadilah kita ber 6 penumpang gelap di kreta dengan jurusan yang sama ke Koln. (Kretane agak tua...kursine atos ki waduuuh).

Location: Koln Hbf (NS)
udah jam 10 pas nyampai sana...cuaca baik2 ae hehehe cuma adem'e gak karu2an (menurutku lho). Keluar dari station keliatan d katedral terbesar di Europa (jadi terkagum-kagum deh...gila buesar banget megah gak karu2an walaupun dalem'e bolong sih gak ada lantai 2 dan seterusnya menang tinggi ae). Kumat deh kebiasaan lama anak Indo...apalagi kalo gak mengabadikan moment2 kaya gini sambil nugguin Kerst Marktnya buka jam 11. abis puas ngeliatin katedralnya, aku ikutan pergi ke centrumnya d.Mungkin kota2 di Jerman kalah bagus ama Holland tapi centrumnya kereeennn!!! jalannya dipaving, outdoor (herannya aku malah inget kota Solo ^^; )-->gak nyambung. Ada beberapa toko sing sama plek ama di sini kaya C&A, Esprit,Mango,Expo, Media Markt,dll tapi ada juga sing gak ada kaya Louis Vulton, GAP, en Douglas. Aku sih gak teralu peduli selama isa dipoto (^o^)v.
Sing payah orang Jerman memang lain ama orang sini! sing pasti kurang ramah, tukang main serodok ae, angel banget jalan ama mereka, cuma nek ditanyain gak keberatan koq njelasin dgn bhs Inggris (walaupun cuma sebagian) Selebihnya pakai Dutch jg gpp mudeng koq mereka dan akhirnya menjawab pakai Jerman juga (komunikasi sing aneh)

sekitar jam 11 kita mutusin ngunjungin Altermarkt...(Anna sangar dee punya kabeh infone dari internet). Lah di sini si Via dapet perkara...dee mo beli panekoek...tapi sing jual gak mau jualin karena dee yakin Via belum berusia 19 thn (???!!!!??) aku sampai geli dewe. Lah bayangin masa Via sampai nunjukin IDnya kalo dee udah 19thn, tapi sing jual tetep gak percaya...akhirnya dijualin juga tapi gak boleh milih rasa kecuali coklat (lho???!!!!). Dasar aneh2 ae....duuhh. udah tengah hari....makan di KFC d (huaaaa)-->aku dah cerita sing ini.Bar makan malah gak pergi2 malah ngobrol sampai 1 jam lebih, padahal sing ngantri lumayan juga. Critanya pada bingung mo kemana lagi. Gak isa pulang....lah bookingnya ambil kreta paling pagi (07.00) pulang paling keri (20.18) (dasar anak business memang gak tanggung2 maksimalin waktu untuk harga tiket yang sama) abis makan masih jam 1 an. Di luar udah mulai snowy lagi....dingin brrrrr.... akhirnya pada pergi dewe2 trus ketemuan lagi di kerst markt deket katedral (sing ini lebih besar dari altermarkt), trus poto2 lagi (jadi boseeeennn.....kangen rumah). sekitar jam 4 Tg ngajakin ngafe....sambil menghitung sisa jam di Mc.Cafe (di sini jg gak ada ya Mc.D punya kafe) ide yang bagus jg. Tg Tata Via duduk dewe, trus tiga yang lain duduk dewe en pesen dewe2. Si Anna lagi bingung gimana minum Caffe Latte, trus dia liatin orang sebelah yang lg minum juga, akhirnya ditiruin hehehe. Sepertinya orang sebelah tau, bar gt dia rasan2 ama temennya soal kita bertiga sambil ngguyu2 dewe.

Dasar... masih 3 jam lagi...mo ngapain ya, matahari udah mulai tenggelam lagi. Ternyata Kerst markt baru keliatan bagus nek malem, lampu2ne baru dinyalain. dimulai lagi kerjaan iseng...poto2 dewe termasuk barang-barang dagangannya (kurang kerjaan banget ya tapi mo gmn lagi buat killing time). O iya pas aku ama Anna mo poto patung2 Natal tiba2 ada serombongan oma2 lewat. Abis ngoceh sana-sini akhirnya mereka sadar kita mo poto patung. Sambil bilang, Gomen no nasai, sumimashen berulang kali trus minggir d. Huaa kita dipikir orang Jepang hahahha....tapi akhirnya para oma sadar koq kita gak isa ngomong hehehe. Udara udah makin dingin masih ujan salju, kaki sampai beku semua plus celana pada basah kena ujan. Mau gak mau harus tetep jalan kalo gak mau beku di jalan. Satu2nya jalan ya pergi masuk lagi ke katedral kan lebih anget. Toko2 udah mulai tutup kecuali pasarnya. lagian tinggal 2 jam lagi, jadi lebih baik balik ke ns d. Ternyata NSnya kaya di Utrecht jg ada centrum di dalam NS uih sangar. anget dan gak dingin lagi.

Akhirnya kereta datang dan kita pulang ke Belanda hohoho...

The End

(Just to remember our nice trip together)

Difficulties to be a human

2007-05-22T11:49:00.001+02:00

It is easy to bad-mouth about someone else (especially behind their back)
But surely harder to talk about their good side all the times

Just like ourselves
It is not difficult to talk about our good side and strengths (mostly in the interviews)
In the other hand, describing our wicknesses and weaknesses are the most difficult part.

Having a healthy tongue is a grace we can speak, we can sing, and taste food..but the bible says no one can control that little part of our body.

but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. (NIV; James3:8-10)

(by the way...the water problem is solved.)

Water shortage in Holland

2007-05-17T20:09:00.000+02:00

I don't know if I write the title correctly. As you know that Holland is one of those countries where you can drink the water directly from the tap. But...since yesterday the local newspaper warned the people not to drink from the tap because the tapwater company, PWN found that the water is containing e-coli bacteria the news. Who said that it is impossible to happen in the developed country like Holland. Well, as you see, it is possible (some say it is only a politic played by the government to increase the water plumb tax and other say it could be part of end-time prophecy.. who knows)

Honestly, I don't know until when this situation will last. Now I have to cook water before drinking it. Otherwise, I have to buy bottles of mineral water from the supermarket.
Wow...this is quite an experience.

I'm quite a gamer

2007-05-07T10:47:00.000+02:00

(let's just say this is the only thing I can do to reduce my boring-meter)

Lea is a gamer, she likes playing computer and board games very much. However, even playing game is one of her hobbies, she is still considered as a noobs. Anyway if you like something it doesn't always mean you have to be pro, right?

These are games that she used to play a lot:
Online games: notpron (a puzzle game), rooms games, neopets (find her with small_fle4 as the username), and other flash games.
Simulation games: Sims 1, Sims hot date, Sims 2, Plushie tycoon, zoo tycoon, ski tycoon
Strategy games: Warcraft 2, Battle realms, Zeus and Master of Olympus (she doesn't really recall the game's name), and recently still playing Command and Conquer 2.

Other games will be written later (time to go to class)

Boseeennn

2007-05-07T10:17:00.000+02:00

Nahhh...mulai lagi deh. Hari hujan, kelas pagi-pagi namun sayang sekali bapak dosen tidak datang. Kalau begini rasa ingin cepat pulang dan kembali membungkus diri dengan selimut sambil menikmati bunyi rintik hujan dari jendela...(sok puitis huhu). Sayangnya hari ini belum berakhir, ada satu kelas lagi yang harus diikuti dalam 1/2 jam mendatang dan sebuah pekerjaan yang menunggu seusai kuliah. Saya sedang diserang rasa bosan yang amat sangat setelah liburan seminggu yang penuh dengan aktivitas (yang pasti banyak hura-huranya wakakakakaka-teringat tertawanya Sukri).

Makanya jangan teralu senang-senang ataupun teralu bersedih...ketika hidup kembali normal perasaan bosan itu kembali menyerang. Ya sudahlah mari jalani saja dengan lapang dada hehehe...

Mau ke mana?

2007-05-06T23:36:00.000+02:00

Tidak terasa sudah mau mendekati bulan Juli lagi. Kabar baiknya cuaca di Belanda menjadi semakin hangat dengan bergesernya musim semi ke musim panas. Kabar yang kurang baiknya, keuangan makin menipis dan planning ke depan masih burem-burem gimana gitu. Satu, ID sudah mau mendekati deadline dan harus menyiapkan segunung dokumen lagi untuk meyakinkan pihak imigrasi agar memberi saya ijin tinggal. Tempat mangang atau kerja masih belum menentu. Sebenarnya ada satu interview telah menanti di akhir bulan ini, namun kemungkinan untuk diterima atau ditolak masih 50:50. Saya sungguh harus belajar memperkuat iman...pertama iman ketrima kerja terus yang kedua iman akan masa depan yang cerah meskipun tidak berarti harus di Belanda.........(begitu lohhh).

Mungkin saya kebanyakan terpengaruh lingkungan sekitar terutama ketika mendengar rekan-rekan saya tidak sedikit yang bisa melanjutkan kerja di Belanda setelah lulus. "Holland is my first priority" pikiran seperti ini yang terus dimainkan di kepala saya. Ga jelek-jelek amat sih karena dengan demikian saya juga ikut termotivasi untuk tidak menyerah dulu mencari tempat magang untuk 6 bulan mendatang. Jeleknya saya tidak bisa melihat peluang yang mungkin lebih besar di tempat lain; apa coba kalau bukan memulai karir sendiri di satu perusahaan, trus menetap, dan mulai memikirkan rencana berkeluarga (kalau Tuhan mengijinkan).

Lepas dari semua pikiran itu sebenarnya saya masih menikmati kehidupan saya sebagai full-time mahasiswa dan pengangguran. Tinggal dekat ma gereja tempat saya pelayanan dan dekat pula dengan si doi dan teman-teman yang masih berdomisili di Belanda (meskipun jarang ketemu hehehehe). Ternyata rasa syukur itu masih ada di tengah berbagai ketidaktentuan dalam hidup saya. Jadi jalani saja deh...dengan tetap berusaha dan berdoa Amin!!

Spring Anime(s) my watchinglist

2007-05-03T11:31:00.000+02:00

Post satu ini adalah kelanjutan dari post berikut Autumn Anime 2006

Tidak terasa satu season sudah habis lagi. Namun sayangnya anime-anime yang ditayangkan musim semi ini kurang begitu menarik (menurut penilaian pribadi saya). Langsung saja berikut adalah anime yang masih dalam jadwal tonton saya:
Di mulai dengan anime lama dulu:

NANA (sebetulnya sudah tamat namun yang nge-subbed baru sampai episode 39) Ternyata saya masih setia banget nungguin versi dubbingnya hhohohoho.
Kekkaishi: cerita si pembasmi ayakashi (aka setan sekolahan) yang kepingin jadi tukang roti ini makin menarik saja untuk diikuti. Sayangnya karena belum tamat banyak teman saya yang memilih untuk mendonlot ketika serinya selesai (duh).
Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge: hiyaa kuwaii-nee-san da yo!!! ternyata setelah 20 episode berselang Sunako belum juga menjadi lady dan keempat cowok cakep itu masih saja belum menyerah. Begitu pula saya yang masih penasaran dengan seri aneh ini.

Anime-anime baruuu!!!!!:

Kamichama Karin: versi kolaborasi sailor moon dan cardcaptor sakura!!!..Biarin mo dibilang kekanak-kanakan tapi emang cute banget si Karin dan Kazunenya.
Romeo X Juliet: Jangan berpikiran negatif dulu...ceritanya kali ini penuh dengan improvisasi..more than you have ever heard and seen (ceile). Misalnya si Julietnya yatim piatu dan sebelum dia berusia 16 tahun menyamar jadi anak cowok bernama Odin. Trus Romeonya lebih terkesan culun dan suka jalan-jalan muterin kota ma pegasus bersayapnya. Design grafiknya boleh lah dapet 8 :)
Lucky Star: Loli-loli melulu....ngomong-ngomong melulu. Sebetulnya saya belum menemukan alasan untuk melanjutkan seri ini -__-#
Ichigo Mashimaro OVA: Akhirnya video animasinya dirilis..sayang cuma sebulan sekali hiks hiks.
Lovely Complex: Sebetulnya kurang tertarik karena sudah nonton versi layar lebarnya yang dibintangi Koike Teppei, salah satu anggota WAT--grup band Jepang yang didalangin dua cowok remaja. Setelah nonton satu episode ternyata versi animenya sama menariknya. Cerita persahabatan seorang cewek super tinggi dengan cowok yang pendek yang kebetulan sama-sama temen sekelas yang memiliki masalah dengan tinggi mereka. Yang lebih unik lagi baik filem ma animenya keduanya menggunakan dialek Kansai (kansai-ben).

Uih ternyata ga banyak ya....Bener-bener lagi payah nih anime-animenya. Terus beberapa anime juga sudah saya buang dari jadwal saya karena sudah selesai ataupun sudah ga minat lagi.

Yang sudah selesai:Ghost Hunt, Sumomo momomo

Yang dibuang karena bosen: Death Note

Ya sudah segini dulu dehhh heheheheeh...

If Jesus went to this person

2007-04-28T13:19:00.000+02:00

Being Pathetic

2007-04-27T13:48:00.000+02:00

I used to be a very pathetic person when it came to beg someone's love. I was and hopefully I am not like that anymore. When reading my junior's blog, I recall my old self when being in a relationship for the first time. So demanding yet denying myself to be such demanding person. For example when my bf didn't reply my sms or call then I would be so annoying by crying out loud, which I realized it was mostly for myself not because of him, be so depressed and so suffering just to get his full attention. However, when he asked if I had done that because of his fault, I would say "No." Was it the one that is called pride or was it simply an ego?

My junior is being in that moment at this time. The time when we are told not to expect too much (yet we can't stop expecting) because it brings only hurt. The time we think that love is all about losing your mind, doing everything, giving anything, and sacrificing everything just for him without expecting the same amount of return. Again here we are lying to ourselves about the fact that there are expected returns.

I can think that those things mention above are silly and unreasonable now. But at that time I wouldn't be able to think that way.

Speaking of faith, I would say that those are what the evil tries to affect our mind and feeling by turning upside down what God says about hope and love. I think there is a slight difference between expectation and hope. Expectation is what you predict will happen while hope is something that you believe it will certainly happen.

The scripture does not say if we love someone we can lose our mind and sometimes have to sacrifice all things and that's why Christ died on the cross. That's not the point. But it does say if we love someone, it should be meant to protect, to have trust between each other and always to have hopes.

I hope this can help to ease your mind sis.

Adakah skenario dibalik kejadian seperti ini?

2007-04-20T12:27:00.000+02:00

Adapun alasan mengapa post ini ditulis dalam bahasa Indonesia karena cukup susah mendeskripsikan uneg-uneg saya ini dalam bahasa Inggris. Terus agak serem juga sebenernya menulis sesuatu tentang sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan "kematian." Postingan sebelumnya juga ngomong soal hal satu ini. Kurang tahu juga koq sedang dapet inspirasi ngomongin hal-hal kaya gini ^^;

Sebetulnya saya kurang yakin juga dapat mengungkapkan hal ini dalam bahasa Indonesia namun apa boleh buat saya tidak tahu bahasa lain. Maka dari itu mohon kemaklumannya kalau tulisan berikut ini susah dimengerti.

Begini loh...akhir-akhir ini saya tuh sering merasa dibalik semua pembunuhan brutal ada satu skenario yang hampir sama. Yang dibunuh biasanya lebih dari satu orang dan cara membunuhnya bisa dibilang sadis lalu si pembunuh mati bunuh diri dengan meninggalkan pesan terakhir. Masih ga percaya? kalau saudara tidak sengaja membaca postingan ini mungkin masih mengingat beberapa insiden di bawah:

Kejadian seorang anak tertua membunuh kedua orang tuanya dengan pisau dapur di siang bolong waktu adiknya sedang bobok siang. Katanya karena si pelaku tidak diturutin keinginannya untuk memiliki sebuah sepeda motor. Akhirnya si pelaku mengambil nyawanya sendiri dengan menikam dirinya.
Lalu beberapa bulan yang lalu, seorang istri yang sedang ditinggal suaminya mencari kerja di luar kota tega meracuni keempat anaknya dengan memberinya minuman beracun dan yang lebih seram seluruh kejadian itu direkam dalam sebuah video hp. Lalu si ibu meracun dirinya sendiri dengan meninggalkan pesan minta maaf atas perbuatannya dan berharap dengan berbuat demikian akan mengurangi beban ekonomi sang suami.
Yang paling baru, kejadian di sebuah universitas Virginia, pembantaian terhadap para mahasiswa di siang bolong oleh seorang murid Korea jurusan sastra bahasa inggris yang ditemukan mengidap tekanan jiwa karena penderitaanya dan keluarganya yang tidak kaya. 32 mahasiswa-mahasiswi ditemukan tewas di tempat dan Sang pelaku juga ditemukan mati di sebuah ruangan tertutup dengan menembak dirinya sendiri. Selang beberapa hari, sebuah stasiun televisi menyiarkan video dan foto yang berisi pesan terakhir si pelaku tentang motif dan alasan melakukan semuanya itu.

Apakah ada sebuah buku petunjuk tentang melalukan pembantaian brutal bahwa setelah melakukan tindak kriminalnya maka si pelaku harus mengambil nyawanya sendiri? Saya pernah mendengar seorang sastrawan Jepang menerbitkan buku tentang cara bunuh diri namun tidak menyebutkan sebelum bunuh diri seseorang harus mengambil beberapa nyawa orang lain.

Atau sang pelaku hanya tidak ingin ditangkap dan dijatuhi hukuman oleh pihak yang berwajib? Lebih baik mati sekarang dan menjadi hero daripada menyandang gelar kriminal yang akhirnya juga dijatuhin hukuman mati?

Pada akhirnya saya kembali berpikir...tidakkah para pelaku itu menyadari apa yang menanti di kehidupan setelah mati? Bukankah yang terjadi setelah kematian itu bersifat abadi dan tidak ada kesempatan kedua? Sedangkan di bumi, orang masih memiliki kesempatan untuk bertobat dan memulai hidup yang baru untuk mendapatkan kehidupan yang lebih baik setelah mati?

Saya bertanya kepada Tuhan, kalau hidup itu adalah suratan takdir apakah akhir hidup seseorang itu juga sudah direncanakan? termasuk mereka yang mengakhiri hidupnya sendiri? atau hal itu adalah sebuah pilihan? Dalam beberapa kasus, tidak sedikit orang-orang yang tidak berhasil mengambil nyawanya sendiri.

I have belief that heaven is so real and so is hell. That's why I come to this conclusion;

Life-span given in the earth is like a time given in an exam. There are some little sections with questions and options. The choices are our rights to decide which answer to choose. If we think we have made mistakes in some parts, we can still revise and correct the wrong ones as long as there is time left. However, when the time is finally up there will be no more chance and only two results will be rewarded either PASS or FAIL.

The only difference between life-span and exam's time is that we never know when our time on earth ends OR how much time is still left...10 more years? a week? or even 1 more minute?...just like that in one glance IT HAPPENS & FINISH.

Really I do not want to scare anybody but I sometimes feel very afraid of how short our life is. Even the oldest person on the earth age cannot compare the age of the earth where we have been living till today.

The doer of Virginia incident was only 23 as old as I am now........how can't I thank you that I am still given a time to live until this day.

The last enemy defeated

2007-04-10T11:38:00.000+02:00

The last enemy, name "death", had been defeated......

When?
When Jesus rose again on the third day after His crucifixion (I shout HORRAYY!!!). Apostle Paul wrote in his letter that He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead and soon this will be followed by great harvest on earth: the risen of, first, people who died in Christ and then followed by those who put their faith in HIM.

Why this is a biggest celebration that has ever taken place on earth's history?

I think death is always frightening for most people because none from afterlife world has ever given testimony how life after dead looks like. If death is not that horrible, why would in every funeral, people cry and mourn..hardly find someone with a cherish face? Even when the scariest leader, Saddam Hussein, was sentenced death a couple months ago.......I am very much sure there are people who felt left and couldn't accept this.

(Imagined if I were a rationalist who is trying to find the answer to this problem)
Healthy is over when sickness comes...and sick is gone when the cure is found...(see the circulation?)
Life ends when death comes....then how can death come to end? What next?
Are dead persons really gone from the world...have they disappeared forever from universe
Will there be a reincarnation as some religions believe there will
Honestly, I really don't like this kind of belief if it is really happened...a never ending life-cycle..born as a human, then do bad things in the world, die, and then reincarnate as a pig...pig goes to butchery process, die as a roasted pig..and then what?? Maybe it's better to check this clip from youtube for a while.

If the reincarnation is a fact, why should the world concern about the increase of world's population? I hate the fact if life is really a circle, there is simply NO ending and NO clear beginning about who I originally was.

Over the reincarnation issue, I would say, the history of the fall of first humans into sins, then centuries afterwards, Jesus who was sent to earth by God Himself died at the cross, burried and rose again on Easter Sunday and conquered the death...has given me a much better image about what comes next after the death....
There is a hope of an eternity live in the heaven, a place that is thousand times better than the earth...

“I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die” (John 11:25-26).

Good Friday

2007-04-06T23:05:00.000+02:00

More than a millenium ago, a son of man was cruxified for the blames that were NOT His but actually those were ours that He brought on the cross.

He died so that through His blood we could be forgiven and saved...

That son of man's name is Jesus,
my Lord and my saviour.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to those sins and live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed (1Pet2:24)

Recommended to watch (for Business & Politics students)

2007-03-31T03:22:00.000+02:00

Karei Naru Ichizoku (the story of splendid family)

End (time to sleep)

zzz.........

Definition of "healthy"

2007-03-31T01:04:00.000+02:00

This morning I read a news that the legendary Indonesian pop singer, Chrisye, has passed away due to his lung cancer.

Suddenly while thinking about it....a question popped up in my mind. What does health or to be healthy actually mean?
I know it is somewhat irrelevant with the news but I'm still in the mood of discussing the term "healthy."
By the end of 30th March 2007, finally I came with some thoughts.

First thought
Would it be enough to be declared "you are a healthy person" when you have no desease and your body is clean from any bacteria?
How about if nothing wrong with your body but your mind is being occupied by stress and problems? would you be still called a healthy person?

If I were in that situation, I wouldn't call myself healthy...and so would people..they would rather calling me crazy, having a mind-sickness. So I think this is not the right definition of being healthy.

Second thought
Would it be enough to say "I am very healthy" with all fullness in my life like I have a lot of money, food, jewelery, or lots of friends around me..so people will call me whealthy (read: wealthy)?
If the answer of that statement is true, then people who don't have money, food, and have none want to be friend with..would they be called the unhealthy ones? Because they maybe sick with their living conditions and start thinking "mylife is suck!!"

I believe at least someday in someone's life, someone will feel lackness in their life...can be anything, lack of money, feeling hungry or starving, or even feeling lonely and left behind as things always come and go...
When I was thinking about these, I was reminded of an old sentence, "you can buy anything in this world but not your health." (I can look for money, buy food, bribe someone to be my friend, but I cannot persuade my sickness to go away from me) So basically this thought of mine is also not right.

Then here is my third thought coming...
I cannot say everyone but most of people wish to be always healthy and lead a good life. Nevertheless I know there are not few people were born with handicaps or they were born with a certain lethal desease(s), which the cures were nowhere to be found and most of them have to life with it for the rest of their life.
Would there be a time or some times in their life, they will be called "a healthy person"?

I was thinking hard to find an answer or anything arguing the question when suddenly a song was being played in my mind...and it goes like this:

Hati yang gembira adalah obat (A joyful heart is good medicine)
sperti obat hati yang senang (it is like happiness medicine)
tapi semangat yang patah keringkan tulang (but a crushed spirit dries up the bones)
hati yang gembira adalah obat ((after all) a joyful heart is good medicine)

Not long after that, something popped up in my mind and said to me, "to be healthy you need yourself in the first place to declare it before anyone does." If it is possible I would say the word "healthy" means "(to) heal-thy(self)" and "thy are healed."

After all "being healthy" is not about your body or your life situation only..........it needs a body, a positive mind, and the most important thing...a joyful heart, a heart that heal thy (read:you).

(proverbs 17:22)

The reason to live

2007-03-26T00:48:00.000+02:00

Recommended to be watch before reading this post: Harry Potter; NHK ni Youkoso!; The Pursuit of the Happiness

Hope is the reason to live and so is dream
People struggle to survive and live up their live for
there is something they wish to achieve
there are some things to run after
When finally the dreams come true, we are glad for it and continue hoping, dreaming for a better future...

However,

When the dreams are broken, what would you do?
We know that the right action to take is "don't give up," get yourself back on the track and make plan B...think positively "it's not over..just not the right time yet"

If...
all peoples chose to give up easily, there wouldn't be a lot of successful persons (I think it's good to watch the pursuit of happiness, not only because my fav actor, Will Smith was there...there was a lesson taught).

The thing is that it is not easy to be optimist person. Not few people, when their dreams and hopes are torn apart, they choose to take a shortcut.....

Running-away from the reality (a coward..maybe)
Becoming a "hikkikomori" (a Japanese term for someone who failed in many things then issolated himself from outside world..and finally let himself live in world of conspiracies--pls watch NHK ni Youkoso!).
or
Giving up the life...by taking own life
(I know it is not always because someone has no hope anymore..in some countries people still do it as ritual or trends (recently like what happened in Korea when two beautiful Korean actresses committed suicide and their fatal actions were followed by their fans)).

What's the reason I'm still living until today if bad things happen...if I fail in many things? Has God abandoned me?

Like it or not.........Unfortunately, there are not always answers behind all things and it seems God remains silent.

I often got so depressed easily too when everything is going wrong.
Have I ever tried to runaway? I would say many times (wished to have ctrl+alt+del installed and then to restart everything before the bad thing taken place)
Have I ever felt to dissapear, away from people? can't count anymore (was hoping to own Harry Potter's invisible cloak)
Have I ever thought of killing myself? once or twice when I was a kid

But one thing I've learnt about the reason why I still live until today
Just because of the promises, whic one of those God has promised nothing of His plans is meant to harm me in the end...if I am obidient...if I put Him as the center of my life.
I think...that's how my faith grow, to keep me hoping for a better tomorrow, and to encourage me facing my problematic life until the end. When finally the problems solved I feel like I have won a competition,
and it is giving me strengths to move on and to face the harder ones.

Through HIM we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we boast in our hope of sharing God's glory. Not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
endurance produces character, and character produces hope. (Rome 5:2-4)

An amateur story teller (AAST)

2007-03-13T12:09:00.000+01:00

I actually have posted some short-stories aka "cerpen" in this blog. Since it is quite hard to find them directly, I intentionally make this post to outline some of those stories...you may say these are my very own quick-private-links ^^

a serie of my first experiences in Holland
Story 1:The departure (in Indonesian)

Story 2: The Morning Accident on Sinterklas day (in Indonesian)

Story 3: The Boy's clothes (in Indonesian)

Story 4: In Amstedam (in (broken)English):p

A story of being one day lonely in Sweden (based on true story---ups)
Show me the meaning of being lonely norak rek!! (in English)

A (not-really) love story (while advising a friend of mine)
Can you say the magic words? (in English)--better English?? dunno though

A (self) memory of the bomb accident at London's underground Metro
Metro (in Indonesian)--one of my favorites

A fiction of my relationship---*blushing*
Between ant and flea (in Indonesian)

What did He say to you?

2007-03-12T22:13:00.000+01:00

HE said to me to slow down (don't be too rush, even God rested after creating the world in six days)
HE said,"learn when to hold on and when to let go"
It is to learn when you shouldn't give up early and keep trying your best.... Maybe you should consider, when people say to you "You will never know at least you try"
However, it is also to realize that every human has a limit and not every efforts results in sucess. When you have reached that point, the point where you must stop...give it back to Me....and I will take care from that moment onwards.
I asked HIM, "when? how do I know that I must stop trying?"
HE answered,"stay close to ME, ask ME, you can ask for a sign...and I will answer"

HE continued, "when you finally have to stop and let go, it doesn't mean you are a failure, a loser..."
A loser is the one who gives up without even trying.
It means, "that thing" (you wish to achieve or to own) is just not for you..just not your part.
HE said, "I know you inside out, not only your limitation in doing things but also what suit you the best to live up your life for Me."
For everything has been planned and certainly I have a plan for you too...yet it is not always the one that you want. But I guarantee someday you may see that none of My plans is meant to bring you a disastrous end.

HE said again, "I know you have been frequently asking me why I do this to you...I know that you are upset to me since the things do not go as you wish or as what you have asked for
...but if you follow My commands and keep trusting me, I'll tell you the secrets and show you what I have prepared for you in the future."

Finally HE reminded me once more,"While trying your best, please keep staying close with ME...for I will always guide you, be with you forever and I will never leave you nor forsake you." Therefore, hold on these words...I promise you.

Love,

Father

Wawancara pertama

2007-03-05T00:54:00.000+01:00

Pembaca...sebenarnya saya hampir melupakan bahwa kata "interview" masih memiliki terjemahan bahasa Indonesia yang tidak lain adalah "wawancara." Nah pembicaraan EYD berhenti di sini dulu.

Saya cuma mau bagi-bagi cerita tentang pengalaman saya berwawancara dengan orang. Maksudnya wawancara buat magang ma cari kerja gitu lohh (bukan saya yang mewawancarai orang). Wawancara pertama dan terakhir saya adalah waktu magang di Japanese Chamber of Commerce. Bisa dikatakan pada saat itu, saya merasa sangat bahagia dan bersyukur kepada Tuhan karena sekali wawancara langsung diterima, di tempat kerja impian lagi...(apa coba kalau bukan perusahaan yang berhubungan negeri anime dan negeri asal doraemon dan Takuya Kimura itu). Namun di samping hal itu saya juga sekali-kali jadi kepikiran karena tidak memiliki kesempatan memilih perusahaan seperti yang dialami beberapa rekan saya; yaitu mendapatkan pengalaman wawancara beberapa kali, ditolak beberapa kali, dan diterima beberapa kali juga sampai pada saatnya mereka harus memilah-milah di perusahaan mana mereka akan membubuhkan tanda tangan hitam di atas putih.

Sayaaaa...dengan kata lain tidak hanya cari pengalaman kerja namun juga mencari pengalaman interview..eh wawancara maksudnya. Tahu ga waktu pas wawancara di JCC satu-setengah taon yang lalu...sempat mempermalukan diri sendiri dan bikin bingung yang wawancara karena saya melafalkan "paper" sebagai "pepper"

I told my ex-boss that my father worked in a paper company dan beliau mengira bahwa papah saya bekerja di pabrik merica (hooooooooooooooo..................). Sejak saat itu saya selalu mengingat bahwa kertas dalam bahasa Inggris dibunyikan antara bunyi "paiper dan peiper" dan merica itu dibaca "pep-perrrrr......"

Bagaimana mungkin seorang exchange-student yang nekat terbang dari Sweden ke Belanda cuma buat ikut interv eh wawancara yang belum tahu hasilnya diterima atau tidak dan seorang kandidat yang tidak bisa melafalkan bahasa Inggris dengan benar bisa diterima di JCC, organisasi Jepang yang semua pelanggan dan anggotanya cuma berbahasa Inggris dan Belanda? Pada saat itu ada tujuh kandidat lain, di mana enam di antaranya sudah diwawancara.

Saya hanya dapat berkata hari ketika saya diterima untuk menjadi trainee selama setahun di sana........dan semuanya terjadi karena kebaikan Tuhan dan anugerah-Nya.

Lord you make all things possible and it happened to me miraculously. That internship, even I cannot say the best simply because that was my very first time working with a company, it was one of the best times of my life in Holland. Thanks God!!

Bahasa Inggris saya? agak nyombong dikit ga apa-apa kan? selama setahun di sana berkembang kok...syukurlahh. Mungkin ini adalah hasil kebanyakan ngobrol ma boss di kantor, terima telpon lebih dari sepuluh kali per hari, berpuluh-puluh email sehari (meskipun banyak junknya :p), sehari 8 jam, 5 hari seminggu selama 12 bulan lamanya.

Tulisan ini cuma secuplik dari kisah hidup si mbak kutu.

Akhirnya buat yang sedang cari kerja, yang sedang menunggu balesan (bisa pekerjaan; bisa jawaban orang yang ditaksir)...jangan pernah berhenti berharap, berusaha, dan berdoa ('coz He is faithful). Masa depan itu ada dan harapanmu takkan pernah hilang amiinnn. Ganbatte kudasai ne!!

Mereka juga manusia

2007-02-26T18:43:00.000+01:00

(Mode serius on......)

Saya tidak membenci kaum homo terlebih ketika beberapa teman kerja saya sendiri adalah penganut homosexual. Ketika mereka menceritakan kisah hidupnya, saya malah cenderung merasa simpatik dengan perjuangan hidup mereka di tengah dunia yang belum bisa menerima kehadiran golongan ini dan lebih menganggapnya sesuatu yang taboo. Di samping rasa simpatik saya, jujur saja hati kecil saya masih berteriak hal itu adalah perbuatan yang salah dan...sebuah dosa yang serius.

Apakah menjadi seorang homo itu adalah pengaruh lingkungan di masa kecil atau memang sebuah tulah karena kesalahan yang dilakukan di masa lampau, sampai sekarang saya tidak yakin akan jawabannya kecuali tetap percaya bahwa Tuhan tidak pernah menciptakan manusia dengan tujuan yang jelek. Adalah sebuah pilihan pribadi untuk memilih jalan hidup...

Kedua rekan kerja saya selalu menunjukan perasaan puas dengan kehidupan yang sekarang mereka jalani. Terlebih karena negara ini melegalkan pernikahan sesama jenis. Biarpun begitu ada saatnya ketika mereka menceritakan keluarganya di Indonesia, saya merasakan sesekali ada sebuah penyesalan dan perasaan bersalah terhadap keluarga terutama orangtua dibalik jalan hidup yang telah mereka pilih. Mereka tidak pernah mengatakannya secara tersurat namun tidak jarang mereka mengatakan hasil jerih payah di negeri Belanda ini akan dikirim untuk menyuport keluarga di Indonesia ataupun dipakai untuk mengunjungi sanak keluarga di sana. Saya masih sangat berharap biarpun secuil mereka masih memiliki keinginan utuk menjadi lelaki yang normal dalam arti berbalik dari hubungan cinta dan hubungan badan dengan sesama jenis. Meskipun bukan berarti berharap mereka dapat tertarik kepada lawan jenisnya.
Kenyataannya tidak sedikit orang-orang selama hidupnya tidak berpasangan, ada yang memilih menjalani kehidupan selibat membaktikan diri kepada agama dan orang lain, adapula yang tidak mampu karena kekurangan badani dan mental.

Satu kali teman saya yang lain melontarkan kepada salah satu teman homo saya betapa dia telah mempermalukan kaum pria dan keluarganya dengan menjalani hidup sebagai seorang banci. Tentu saja teman saya tersinggung dan berkata, "sirik banget sih lu sama gue?" namun dia tidak mengelak atau membela dirinya melakukan hal yang benar.
Saya berpikir, berapa banyak orang yang berani berkata face-to-face kepada seorang homo tentang kesalahan yang dia perbuat dibandingkan dengan orang-orang yang hanya mengatai di belakang saja namun pura-pura tidak ada apa-apa di hadapan mereka?
Kejadian ini membuat saya berpikir lagi, bahwa pada dasarnya mereka juga ingin diperlakukan seperti manusia pada umumnya, bukan hanya perasaan diterima namun juga diingatkan dan ditegur atas perbuatannya yang salah.
Ga percaya?
Coba sendiri..tapi jangan kurang ajar ngomongnya :)
Ditegur memang sakit apalagi kalau teguran itu benar adanya. Saya juga sering merasa tersinggung tetapi setelah itu tidak pernah berhenti memikirkan teguran teman saya dan menanyakan balik terhadap diri sendiri, apa benar begitu? Namun kalau sudah tahu salah tidak ada yang negur sakitnya makin menjadi-jadi karena kepala ini dipenuhin dengan berbagai konspirasi akan orang-orang yang berbicara di belakang kita.

Renungan singkat
Saya memang tidak bisa menegur secara gamblang seperti teman saya yang tadi (biasanya cuma menyindir tanpa tahu yang disindir nyadar atau tidak).
Satu hal saja yang dapat saya simpulkan dari fenomena ini, dosa manusia yang paling umum dan seringkali tidak disadari adalah "berkompromi" dengan membenarkan apa yang dilarang menjadi sesuatu yang bisa ditolerir dan tidak berakibat apa-apa karena orang lain juga melakukannya.
Namun hukum Tuhan tidak pernah berubah dan tidak pernah menganggap dosa yang satu lebih ringan atau lebih berat daripada yang lain. Saya juga merasa ngeri dengan hukumNya yang tidak bisa ditawar-tawar, Dia berkata "upah dosa ialah maut." (Roma 6:23a)

Ah masa sih?
(konteks di neraka--testimoni dari hamba-hamba Tuhan yang pernah di bawa ke sana) masa seorang pembunuh dan tukang memperkosa orang mendapat hukuman yang sama dengan orang yang melacurkan dirinya? hukumannya memang berbeda namun si pelacur tidak merasa lebih bahagia dari si pembunuh dan pemerkosa... Resources

Fushigi no yume...alias mimpi aneh nih!!!

2007-02-22T11:07:00.000+01:00

Tahu ga saya mimpi pulang Indonesia dan ingin melamar kerja. Tetapi apa daya ternyata saya sudah tidak bisa menulis surat lamaran kerja dalam bahasa Indonesia....aiyaaaaa (*niru cukong sebelah).

Sekian

Valentine is here again

2007-02-14T19:09:00.000+01:00

It's a world celebration of love being everywhere. Time to share, time to give and receive love that are expressed in all ways you can verbally, physically, or even silently through means of a little gift and a valentine card, and a time for gathering free chocholate... :p

In contrast, on this year's val's day I have myself study for database re-exam..(I missed it last time because I came in the wrong hour and the exam had already finished LOL). Honestly I am feeling a little bit lonely but still happy as I can feel love is in the air and everywhere today (j/k). I received some valentine sms from my friends there. From my heart thankss...*sigh I love you so much. My honey? he doesn't want to disturb my study so he stays at home :)

My wish for you all is that to keep this valentine spirit alive in your daily life on only on this valentine day. Nothing's wrong with caring and loving someone everyday, isn't it? It's also commanded by God to do so, to love Him with all your hearts and to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
Love never fails, therefore don't be upset when the people we love and care about do not reply in the way that we have been expecting.

To love is daring to take all the consequences that may come with it. It's the most wonderful feeling when someone you love loves you back in return. If it is a true love, sure you will feel hurt many times but strong enough to bear the pain...

As love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

At last happy valentine again, share it with the person you love
*listening to You Belong to Me....(humming)*

Making up my mind

2007-02-07T15:45:00.000+01:00

I used to say I would like to go home really bad to start my carreer and celebrate my parents' 25th anniversary. The other time I liked to say I think I'd like to stay here a bit longer, get a job, stay close with him, continue serving my Lord in Xrds. There was no one certain answer, yes I was confused.

I think I start making up my mind........I'm trying my best to stay in Holland and finding a fixed job, if I can't find one till then..I'm going back for good :) I may be feeling sad when finally I have to go back to Indonesia for good without getting a job. However, if I never tried and did some efforts to find job here and just go back, I would be much sorry for myself.

It's hard to look from God's point of view but He always reminds me to keep trying and keep praying...so that I may find out what He has been preparing for me in the future.
Once my good friend told me that for each of us, God actually has provided a reward somewhere there...the problem is how can we run after it. Just like in a running competition, the reward is there waiting in the finish line, but how can we get it if we never start running to reach it.

Well I think that what life is all about... :)

Strange translation of Indonesian language

2007-02-06T14:54:00.000+01:00

I recall my memory when I started learning English for the first time. I used to translate every single Indonesian word into English without changing the structure or understanding the meaning first. Only this time, I'll try to put them in the right order.. :) Believe it or not not few Indonesian people still do this way of translation (!__!)

what we are trying to say (M)

Baju kutungan-->you can see (Indonesian way of reading: yukensi) (M: tank top :)
Bola dunia--> world ball (M: globe)
Bulu tangkis--> smashing feather XD (M: badminton)

Cerita penghantar tidur--> sleeping delivery story (M: fairy tale)

Es kelapa muda--> the gun (read: degan) (M: Young cocounut juice)

Jeruk bali-->balinese orange (M: grapefruit)
Juru kunci-->keys expert (M: (grave) caretaker)

Keliling dunia-->around the world (M: world trip)

Puteri salju-->Snow princess (it's Snow White)
Puteri tidur-->Sleeping princess (Sleeping beauty)
Puteri duyung-->mermaid princess (little mermaid :p )

Roti tawar-->tasteless bread (M: sandwich bread)
Roti dadar--> flatten bread; pen cake??!!! (M: pancake)
Rumah kaca--> glass house (M: green house)
Rumah makan--> Eating house (M: restaurant)
Rumah sakit--> Sick house (M: hospital)
Rumah tangga-->ladder house (M: household)

Taman kanak-kanak-->Children's park (M: kindergarten)

I'll update it again soon...any idea?

Minggu kemarin

2007-02-06T14:34:00.000+01:00

Yaa...minggu kemaren hari (hampir) menubruk-nubruk. Hampir? iya dunk karena belum nubruk ga bisa dibilang nubruk. Saya juga ga habis pikir mengapa hari minggu kemaren bisa aja mo nubruk-nubruk hebatnya ga cuma satu kali dan ga cuma di satu tempat, yang sama cuma hari dan areanya. Di mana coba? di Amstelveen centrum pas jjs ma Anton sepulang gereja. Rencana awal sih cuma mo cari toilet karena toilet di rumah Anton sedang dipakai ma Harbud... di samping rencana awal kepingin beli apel pie bikninan Ve en Deh (lalahhh ngapain juga mo buang air sampe di centrum kalau ga ada tujuan ya ga?). Walaupun pada akhirnya saya tidak jadi beli apel pie gara-gara sudah kewaregen makan sundeys Mc.D trus jadi kehilangan selera sama yang manis-manis (kecuali cowok manis dan adik-adik bayi yang manis hihi).

- Kejadian hampir nubruk pertama terjadi di H&M pas turun elevator setelah beli amplop ukuran A4. Eh lebih tepatnya saya telah membuat seorang mevrouw yang turun dari elevator di belakang saya mau menubruk gara-gara saya berhenti dadakan huhuhu. Sempet juga si mevrouw ngomel saya juga lupa ngapain koq berhenti dadakan.

-Kurang dari satu menit kemudian ketika sedang seru-serunya bercerita ma Anton, tak sadar si tiang aka pilar sudah nangkring beberapa centi doang dari hidung saya ketika pak manager H&M teriak "PAS OP!!" Koq ya pas si meneger lewat trus sambil komentar kalau hampir saja saya dinobatkan menjadi orang pertama yang nabrak tiang toko yang nangkring di situ. Jadi dengan kata lain belum pernah ada orang nabrak dunk? *blushing (maluuuu).

-Ketiga kalinya ketika mo pulang dari centrum, gara-gara saya kepingin muter lewat toko WE saya berhenti dulu sebelum belok sambil tarik si Anton supaya ikutan berhenti jalan juga. Siapa yang mengira di belakang Anton ada mevrouw setengah baya (catetan bukan mevrouw yang tadi lohh, kalau sampe mevrouw yang di H&M tadi saya bisa kena gamprat kali). Jadilah kali ini si Anton yang mau ditabrak mevrouw...... (-__-) huhu

Gomen nasaii!!...saya janji akan belajar berjalan ga pake berhenti-henti dan pake mata hehe (^o^)

Skin change?

2007-02-03T23:19:00.000+01:00

Not because I lose my creativity...just because my creativity has caused some troubleshootings on my blog (-__-#) *sigh (makanya belajar html yang bener dunk). I had my blog resumed to its original skin.......

Maikaaa...(kalau orang Jepang ngomong "ya sutra lah") Despite the skin stuff, I really have to learn how to improve the quality of my writings. Please pray for me (!__!)v

Antara kutu dan semut

2007-02-03T12:40:00.000+01:00

(ketika masih males upload potoh-potoh di tahun 2005)

Semut dan kutu sama-sama serangga tul ga?
Dua-duanya suka hidup menggerombol dan bergotong royong
Si semut bergotong-royong mengangkat nasi
Si kutu bergotong royong pindah rumah dari kasur satu ke kasur orang lain

Bedanya semut amat kecil dan kutu super mini,
toh masih sama-sama dibilang binatang kecil

Semut dan kutu punya banyak persamaan
Semut bisa nggigit dan bikin gatel begitu pula si kutu
Bedanya semut menggigit taruhannya nyawa karena dia langsung keliatan dan dipites ma yang dibikin gatel.
Namanya sudah suratan, turun-temurun masih saja semut menggigit dan dipites.
(Yang pasti yang diceritakan di sini bukan si semut angkrang yang bisa bunuh orang hehe, bayangin aja si semut hitam kecil yang jinak dan suka merambat di tembok rumah)

Namun kutu tidak demikian, dia masih bisa menggigit dan bersembunyi di dalam kasur
dan menggigit lagi di saat yang lain sampai yang punya kasur muak dan ambil itu racun serangga, matilah seluruh kutu dalam kasur kalau mereka terlambat transmigrasi.
Meskipun tidak transmigrasi, dengan datangnya musim dingin tahulah para kutu waktunya untuk hidup sudah tidak lama lagi. (Notes: cerita kutu kasur nih..jangan ditambahin kutu-kutu lain termasuk kutu rambut dan kutu buku)

Biarpun banyak persamaan di antara kutu dan semut, namun saya bertemu mereka di dua belahan dunia yang berbeda, di Indo saya melihat semut di mana-mana namun tidak di Belanda. Demikian pula si kutu kasur, pertemuan pertama dan terakhir kami terjadi di kamar 201 Heilig Hart Kerk, student dorm Haarlem. Keduanya tidak pernah bertemu (lagi menurut saya) apalagi memikirkan untuk hidup bertetanggaan.

Hanya dalam kehidupan manusia si semut dan si kutu dapat berdampingan, dipertemukan oleh waktu dan menjalin hubungan sampai batas waktu yang diijinkan Tuhan. Inilah kisah Ant dan Flea :p (yeeeeeeee ga mutu *tertawa ngikik*)

Like ants and fleas, so are we in God's eyes so small and powerless. Yet for us, He became one of us and chose to die at the cross in Calvary.

First aid aka P3K

2007-02-03T03:20:00.000+01:00

Macam-macam penyakit dan obat minumnya:
sakit perut--teh manis panas
pengen sakit perut--jus pencit

merasa keracunan--susu, air kelapa, atau es jeruk (salah satu boleh, semua lebih boleh lagi)
pengen keracunan--baygon

diare (murus-murus)--segelas oralit
susah buang air besar--air plus garam inggris (LOL)

mabuk darat, laut, udara--sprite atau minuman bersoda yang lain
mabuk beneran--dua botol barcadi

tenggorokan serik (aka batuk berdahak)--minum jeruk nipis hangat dicampur kecap manis (serius!! ga bercanda)

susah tidur--susu hangat
terserang kantuk--kopi espresso, kalau kurang manteb minum jeruk nipis langsung dari buahnya
tidak bisa bangun--seember air dingin

ngapain saya pagi-pagi ngepost? karena yang punya blog lagi terserang mag gara-gara lupa makan malem...huhu gomen nasai

Want a cup of coffee?

2007-02-02T16:48:00.000+01:00

When I was little I only knew that coffee is a bitter beverage for adult only. My mom always had this black nescafe powder and served it to my father's friend. Hum..both my parents don't drink coffee a lot as far as I know (but they do drink tea every morning..sorry out of topic :p).
I did try once or twice but couldn't stand with the bitter taste, what was the enjoyment of drinking bitter-taste-coffee? A delicious drink should taste sweet-sour and it should smell nice. Coffee does smell good until today I still think it does. My little me after all thought it didn't go well with the taste. That's why I put so many sugar when I said to everyone I could drink coffee and be a big-girl.

Then I went to this country, Netherlands, where everyone drinks tea, beer, and of course coffee as their must-drinking beverages. Even until today I am not a coffee addict but I can trully enjoy drinking coffee as much as I can, during work, school, or even when I'm home enjoying my free time. Sometimes I still put one or two teaspoon of sugar but the other time I can just drink two cups of black coffee without sugar and I can say no other taste goes well with coffee without its bitterness and that smell. In that bitter taste I can still sense the sweetness and excitement of drinking coffee as that liquid flows through my throat, warms my body, and refreshes my mind.

Am I trying to say I'm an adult now? That I don't really know. 23 years are long enough to see the sweet and bitter of life. I'm sure you get what I mean when you are living abroad alone miles away from your family. Maybe it sounds really fool when I say you need coffee to live in a country like Holland especially when it's winter. Sorry out of topic again.

I like drinking cappucino with a thick foam on the top of the cup. Even without sugar, it still tastes mild not really that bitter. I think it is the effect of milk mixed in it. However, when I was working in the office, I think two cups of pure espresso a day were the best to give a little refreshment besides keeping my eyes open and my mind focus.

I went to the cafe for the first time when I was doing my double degree in a little city called Gefle in Sweden. That was the first time too when I knew that coffee can be mixed with any kinds of flavours and tastes besides milk and chocholate and yet it tastes great. Say in that cafe, they mixed the coffee with hazelnoot, mocca, or even vanilla and served it with various kinds of shortcakes. It was just a cup of coffee and a piece of shortcake in a small coffee shop but it cost me around 500 SEK (around 6 or 7 Euros) to enjoy. Back in Holland, again I found that coffee can be mixed with some sorts of alcohol too, I like baileys-coffee with Irish cream a lot (does it make me an alcoholic?)

Now I am back to college and I have to save money for long-term supply. Thus, less going out and drinking along in a cafe. That's why back to instant coffee is a good choice after all. Lately in the morning I prefer drinking frappe a.k.a. ice coffee instant. It's just fresh and quick and of course can be drunk directly as it is cold already :p (no need to wait). Then sometimes in the cold evenings, I can make myself a cup of hot wiener melange instant as a substitute of my favourite, chocholate coffee. This is more less composed from similar ingredients, coffee, milk, and chocholate.

Well I think my family doesn't know about this recent habit of mine unless they read my blog. Ok that's it for now, want a cup of coffee?

Time

2007-01-31T15:12:00.000+01:00

time is like dripping water in a bare hand
it keeps running even you try to hold it carefully
but when you carelessly it will run faster through your hand and leave your hand dry.

nothing can hold time and none can stop it from running out.
Thus, take a good care and
make a good use of the time you still have.

:)

Hari ini

2007-01-29T12:53:00.000+01:00

cuaca mendung, saya tidak kuliah karena sedang libur setelah ujian. Mau ngapain juga masih dipikirkan..nanti kalau ada ide saya tulis lagi dehh ciao dulu

Berbagai alasan untuk mengerjakan satu hal

2007-01-13T13:23:00.000+01:00

ho oh...Leanya masih males upload poto trus nulis kelanjutan footage in2005. Alesannya?? Serius yang nomer 1 males, alasan kedua masih berhubungan dengan yang pertama "kenapa males?" jujur kacang ijo saja dengan kemajuan teknologi yang membuat harga kamera digital setara dengan kamera manual dan memampukan saya untuk membelinya (iya itu si digicam) semakin banyaklah poto2 yang tercipta (males resize males upload). Kalaupun potonya hilang karena file corrupted bisa ngopi punya orang (iya dong meskipun bukan murid IT saya kan juga (kadang-kadang) punya backup; siapa2?? hehe..ya lewat masku lah hahahahaha yang ternyata arek IT jg hohoho bercanda).

Alasan ketiga? saya menerima serangan flu dari bang Bud yang lagi flu juga. Nah ini yang mbuat orang jadi pengennya batuk terus dan bobok terus karena kepala selalu terasa berkunang-kunang apalagi ditambah "my morning syndrom" ketika ga ada ayam berkokok di luar masih gelap gulita ketika jam menunjukan jam 7 pagi. Siapa bilang kalau kuliah bisa masuk dan bangun seenaknya tidak seperti masa-masa internship aka magang. Dari keempat kelas saya selama seminggu 3 diantaranya dimulai jam 8.30 dan yang satu masih di bawah jam 10 pula.
Apa saya kurang motivasi? atau teralu sering menyalahkan pihak lain dan ga tanggung-tanggung berani nyalahin Tuhan lagi "Lord, why this should be happening now? when this week is my last week before exam..sigh."
Anyway saya belum nyerah buat exam (meskipun sudah miss satu karena salah jam LOL) hehehe...hayooo fighto fighto...uhuk.
Sudah deh gitu dulu...

5 years since then (year 2004)

2007-01-02T21:31:00.000+01:00

Year 2004 is not my third year in Holland as I came to this country almost by the end of 2002. So these is how I spent my second year in Holland (and of course this was my life outside school).

No picture in January 2004 till February 2004

MARCH 2004
I had my 20th birthday pictures taken by Dipta. Here is one with all birthday-participants minus Anton (he had to go home earlier because of some deadlines, can't help it).

APRIL 2004
Life is not about school and college right? when you are abroad, maybe you will think the same way...anytime there is time and enough budget, why don't we go somewhere new.

So we booked 4-days-trip to Paris, France on April 2004. Yes again, Anna, Harbud, Anton, and I, four of us.

Four of us, student-travellers

with Anna

with Anton, featuring Anna at the back :)

Next, a visit to once-a-year-flower-garden-exhibition in Lisse, Netherlands, which is known as Keukenhof. Together with Anna and her part-time job's colleagues. *still no digicam, this is a scanned one

JUNE-JULY 2004
One and half year in Netherlands was long enough to make me miss home. This year I made up my mind and spent my summer in Indonesia for 5 weeks. Speaking of which, I have almost no picture during my vacation in Indonesia, I mean the digital ones. Instead I secretly took one of my toddler's photo from home and scanned it. This is how I am looked like when I was one year old with my mom and dad eating meatballs..how nostalgic hihi (did I look more like my mom?).

Then I was back in Holland only for 2 weeks before leaving for Sweden and taking my double degree program. End of my summer...

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2004
What a once lifetime experience. I was about to spend my winter in one of the coldest country in the world. I was scared enough to face it but my excitement of this country was over all of those worries. I lived in a city called Gavle located 2 hours away by train from Stockholm, the capital city of Sweden.

My first picture was taken with Baltic sea as the background (can you believe it?? I've visited Baltic sea)

This is the uni where I was studying in Gefle.

6th September, at Sindhu's birthday, the Indonesian contingents minus Ooq

And when you are in a new country, it is natural to find a new way of living (which people know it as "ADAPTATION"). Speaking of new way of living, first thing we had to learn was how to prepare our meal...here is our first dinner:

Reddy the chefwannabe, Sindhu read sms how to cook raw fish, Lea and Lya were the meal testers and eaters LOL

Then we learnt how to get in touch with other cultures, for example
Greek Dinner with Saziki??&%* (dunno how to spell it). Anyway it's Greek Omelet (^o^)

Talking about culture-learning I will never forget to mention the parties every Thrusday's night. I didn't and I don't like going to the party. Nevertheless I did come to some of them.

just a normal party

beach party in the autumn

November 2004
It's lebaran Although in Sweden we could still celebrate it with a little party at our place, Lya's and mine.

And the next morning when I opened my curtain, the snow was everywhere, white was the most color I could see.

and since then the sun went down earlier than before...geez I was quite depressed. During the winter the sun rose at 10:00 AM and went down around 3 in the afternoon. Therefore my housemate and I often felt like dinner time was a way too long to wait. Nights were just too long for us who were born and used to live in a tropical country for the last 18 years.

DECEMBER 2004
Another Christmas and New Year occassion. We celebrated this season by posing in front of Swedish Christmas Goat, the goat that would be burnt by the end of the month (why? don't ask me..it's just the tradition):

To live up the Christmas spirit what else we could think but a nice pre-Chirstmas dinner

However, I missed him, Anna, church, and others in Holland. I prayed to God and tried my best to pursue my daddy to let me go back during Christmas and new year. Thanks God, He and my dad did allow me to enjoy my Christmas and New Year in Holland (about this trip I have written it in this blog two year ago New Year 2005). And this is how I ended year 2004.

Next..welcome to year 2005

5 years since then (2003's memory)

2007-01-02T21:04:00.000+01:00

Ok these were happened in 2003,

This is the photo that I could recall when entering year 2003. On January 13, 2003, Anna's 19th birthday at Schoterstraat 2, Haarlem :) I came over to her place by bike in the evening. The picture was taken by my first new manual camera, which I had just bought it in Media Markt with Elli. Unfortunately I lost the camera now...I don't really remember when where or even how ^^

In April 2003, my friend Rico arranged a trip to a theme park called Six Flags (note: now it is called Wallibi World). Lots of fun, first time I discovered myself not liking roller coaster riding hehhe... LOL

Somewhere in July 2003, my first summer in Holland before Via went on vacation to Indonesia

As the time flew, I met him at Bethany church in Hoofddorp. We didn't have so many photos back then. Maybe this was our first picture featuring Daniel (aka Nyot2) and Marlina (aka Qiyut or Nina) at Schiphol Airport. We went there on Saturday right after fasting-prayer at church. No particular reason, just an afternoon hangout. When was it again? If I'm not mistaken it was taken around August 2003.

December 2003
The same sentence keeps playing in my head, time does fly fast. I did not have a digicam yet therefore, not so many I can post here. I pick this picture from Silvia's friendster and my old file. During Winter holiday and in order to celebrate the coming Christmas and New Year, the Dutch Train Company or the NS usually has some special offers. Anna and I were very excited back then since we never went anywhere outside Netherlands. Two trips were decided, the first one was to Christmas market in Koln, Germany.

Few days later after a trip to Germany. We did go to our second trip, but this time with different participants. On that one chilly day, we went to Brussel in Belgium together with Anthon, Harbud, and Johan. Thanks to Harbud and his digicam, quite a lot of pictures had been made in Brussel.

Then..Christmas is here again!!! and of course a Xmas celebration. A photo of the team

Maybe we just did not want to end Xmas only at Church. In Netherlands everyone has second Christmas day. On 26th December, everyone went to our place, Anna and I. A little celebration with soft drinks and Europoly!!!!

Honestly, that was one of the best time of my life in Holland :) HONTOU yo!

6 days later on 31st December 2003, New Year's eve...a year-end service at church.

To be continued to year 2004

5 years since then

2007-01-02T20:16:00.000+01:00

First of all, let me say HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007 to all of you. Here are some of my footnotes in Holland since 2002, just for some old good times... :)
2002
August 16, a couple hours after leaving Indonesia, our first picture together in Kuala Lumpur

August 17, our first dormitory in Haarlem, NL

First excursion to Zaanse Schaanse

My first international group,

Four of us, Silvia, Tata, Anna, and I

First and finally in 2002, my dream-comes-true, first snow in Haarlem,

End of 2002 sorry no year-end picture, I was lost in Schiphol with Anna and Silvia without "vervoer" or public transportation around. All public transportations stopped after 19.00, 5 hours before the new year.

To be continued

In a relationship...

2006-12-10T22:26:00.000+01:00

Iya yang saya maksudkan dengan in a relationship adalah segala hubungan cowok-cewek yang sedang deket a.k.a. ttm, htm, dan yang baru saja meresmikan hubungan menjadi pacar. Kenapa tahu-tahu membawa topik ini, saya juga kurang mengerti. Anggap saja sedang mengikuti kata hati nih.

Mungkin memang benar kalau orang bilang ketika sedang berduaan, "dunia serasa milik berdua yang lain cuma teken kontrak" huhuhuhu. Maka dari itu percaya saja kalau setelah itu banyak orang bilang "cinta itu buta kaya pakai kacamata kuda." Sudah tahu kita tu hidup di tengah berjuta-juta penduduk bumi, kalau lagi bercumbu yang kelihatan cuma si dia dan si dia..yang lain jadi kasat mata kali yee.

Saya lagi sirik?? ember kali. Namun demikian walaupun saya akhir-akhir ini menjadi sirik terhadap adik sendiri dan beberapa teman yang baru saja jadian dan dua orang teman yang lagi pada pdkt (baca: pendekatan aka naksir), fenomena in-a-relationship ini mungkin sebenarnya cukup mengingatkan saya pada diri saya sendiri tiga tahun silam waktu baru saja jadian.

Pinginnya berduaan terus, ga ketemu satu hari rasanya kaya setahun, ga bisa hidup tanpa dirinya, harus mendengar suaranya setiap hari, setiap hari menanti smsnya, maunya berpeluk-cumbu sehari semalam suntuk, sedih banget kalau sudah waktu sudah menunjukan jam malam dan saatnya berpisah, bahkan demi si dia apapun rela untuk dikorbankan dan kalau perlu terjun ke jurangpun sanggup. Gombal?? Emangg...tetapi pada saat-saat itu siapa yang masih bisa berpikir dengan akal sehatnya..kebanyakan akan menganggap hal itu nyata.

Yang ditunggu dan diharapkan dari si doi tuh...peringatan 1 bulan jadian, 2 bulan jadian, dst., trus kado natal, kado valentine, surprise dan surprise lagi, dan tentu saja mengharapkan doi akan mengingat ultah kita dan (lagi-lagi) kadoo Ultah donnggg. Ga heran:
- Banyak cowok bakal bokek pada bulan-bulan pertama
- Setelah beberapa tahun berlalu banyak cewek dan istri-istri mengeluh sang pangeran sudah tidak seromantis masa-masa doeloe...

Karena sebenarnya kenyataan itu tidak seindah mimpi, ada baiknya lekaslah tersadar dari mimpi-mimpi yang indah tersebut. Cinta itu buta karena kita memilih menutup mata, melihat, dan ingin merasakan apa yang kita ingin rasakan dan lihat. Namun berapa lamakah hal itu akan bertahan? persoalan muncul, perselisihan pendapat dan pertengkaran tak habis-habisnya datang dan pergi meninggalkan luka di hati dan ribuan tetes air mata.
Tak terkecuali saya, sayapun mengalami masa-masa pasca bermimpi; sakit hati, merasa dikhianati, air mata, sampai menyiksa diri sendiri (karena kalau udah nangis napsu makanpun hilang dan tidurpun tidak pernah nyenyak lagi ya ga??). Dan saya percaya hal yang samapun pernah terjadi pada pasangan saya.

Yang saya pelajari ketika saya mampu mengatasi semuanya, satu per satu sampai saat ini adalah:
- Karena dipertemukan di gereja, jangan cepat menyimpulkanTuhan mempunyai rencana buat kita berdua sampai jenjang pernikahan.
- Sama halnya orang yang agamanya baik, pinter berdoa, dan selalu ikut pelayanan bukan jaminan dia akan menjadi pasangan yang baik, SAMPAI kita sendiri betul-betul mengenalnya luar dalam. (If you believe "don't judge the book from its cover," then you should think about this.)
- Jangan terburu-buru melangkah...dalam setiap hubungan ada waktunya mulai dari bergandengan tangan, menjadi teman dekat, sampai berciuman..pak Pendeta bilang "nantikanlah Tuhan, karena waktuNya-lah yang terbaik."
- Masih berhubungan dengan poin buru-buru; setiap jenjang hubungan itu ada "RAMBU-RAMBU-nya" atau ada batasnya.
- Belajar mengerti dan memaafkan, pacar itu bukan saudara sedarah, si dia itu dulu adalah orang asing yang tidak kita kenal. Jadi setiap ada masalah, saya sendiripun selalu belajar mengingat itu adalah bagian dari proses mengenal dirinya dan berusaha mencari jalan keluarnya. Walaupun begitu saya tidak mengingkari, sebagai seorang cewek, seringkali juga kalau si dia sedang super nyebelin....pikiran pertama yang keluar adalah "putus." :p LOL
- Kalau sedang perang dingin ma si dia, jangan membandingkan terlebih curhat langsung dengan cowok atau orang lain yang sepertinya juga punya rasa sama kita. Dengan kata lain "jangan libatkan pihak ketiga/orang ketiga."Pada akhirnya saya sadar, pikiran jelek kaya gitu hanya membuat salah satu pihak sakit hati (kalau kita milih "the other guy", tentu saja perang dingin itu akan berakhir ma kata putus, sebaliknya kalau kita rujukan ma si dia kasian dong si cowok lainnya...emang dia cuma tempat pelarian sementara?).
-Dan tentu saja...serahkan semua kedalam tangan Tuhan. Kita punya banyak rencana mo nikah kapan, mo punya anak berapa, hidup di mana, de-el-el, namun Tuhan yang memutuskan (mo bosen denger kalimat ini silahkan..namun bagaimanapun kalau itu kenyataannya bagaimana kita dapat lari dariNya?).
- dan masih banyak yang lain-lain....yang bisa dipelajari dari sebuah hubungan terlebih mereka yang sudah berkomitmen...seberapa kuatkah komitmen itu?

Akhirnya saya memang lagi sirik saudara-saudara. Bukan berarti saya ma si dia kepingin kaya gitu lagi (itu lho soal dunia milik berdua hihi) namun sadarlah kita yang ada di sekitarmu ini juga kepingin berbagi kebahagiaan karena kalian bisa in-a-relationship (bener lhoo!!). Sapa sih yang ga seneng temennya jadian (kecuali yang merasa kalah bersaing dan dikhianati teman sendiri :p), kan asyik kalau ikutan ditraktir tanda syukuran..hehe. Saya sebagai orang yang ngikut ngontrak dunia ini cuma kepingin bilang:

We still exist to share and pray for your happiness, to take care of the new couple and to be there to comfort when there's a trouble...may God Bless You as He blesses me with my beloved one...Amen.

Over-confident?

2006-12-05T11:30:00.000+01:00

Don't be over confident towards something uncertain, especially the Dutch weather. That's my moto lately.

About a week ago, I proudly wrote to my friend in Singapore that this year Autumn was the warmest over years due to the global warming. Everyday was sunshine and the temperatures were above 12 degrees...

See what did happen in the next day until today? In a day the temperature dropped from 12 to 5, and plus the wind, it felt like 2 degrees. I could say no more to my friend..big oups!!

...anyway I might not get such weather again next year when I'm back to Indonesia.

Ok that's all for today, I'm off to work now :p

End time of the year

2006-12-02T17:19:00.000+01:00

Welcome to the last month of year 2006. For me, I feel like New Year was just yesterday. Time does fly fast without we realize this year will be ended soon. How's life going? have we accomplished what we have previously planned when we entered year 2006. With me? I would say I did...*big smile and all accounts to GOD" I finished all my last year's assignments and I graduated last summer and guess what all my family except my brother they managed to come to Holland. In the middle of this year I made a wish that I could stay for another year and GOD did answer He let me to enroll in a one-year programme Accounting and Finance. Have the same things also happened to you? Or..do you still have some of your plans sustained?

At the end, we can plan anything but God decides. In fact, all people know or at least have ever heard about this. The matter is about how far we have faith in it besides the fact that some people would rather not believing there is GOD. Well, I do believe in it.

Just last night, after my part-time work I talked with a new friend. He has been wondering in Holland for some years and thinking of going back to Indonesia next year because he thinks of having enough capital earned to start his own business. He believes that a success only comes to those who are hard-workers and know how to take a chance.
Then I told him about a story, which is actually written in the bible.

It is about a rich man who has a lot of money and treasures. He plans everything in order to make his prosperity last forever so that when he is old, his life would be full of enjoyment, parties, and happiness. However, God said to him,"You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Now who will get the things you've accumulated?" (you can read the full story at Luke:12:16-22)

My friend told me that he knew that that man finally died that night. Anyway it's just one of the example that actually all of us know that all things including the time are in God's hand.

As a year passes by, we are getting old and older (which doesn't mean it proves that we are granted a longer life). Quite the opposite, as we gets older, our time on earth is getting shorter. Why? because each of us was born to this earth with a certain life span and like it or not it has been decided long time ago before we came to our mommy's womb.

So is the time on earth, as a year is passing by again, the time is come to its end.
In the Christianity belief, the merciful time for the people is finished when Jesus is coming for the second time, which is called the rapture, and then the world will be sent to the great tribulation. Those who were died in Christ are going to be revived first then those who are still alive and believe in Him are going to be the next to rise. Finally, those who are left behind are sent to the great tribulation or great suffering time.

When the time on earth or your life time does finally end, have you been thinking what will you report to, what is so called, the Afterlife-judge? Would you be able to take all responsibilities of your entire life, which are obviously the factors that decide your next destination after life? Believe it, not only for Christians but all of us, there are only two places to go after life and for eternity, HEAVEN or HELL. There is NO such things like reincarnation OR second chance to repair the previous life.

Life is short but afterlife is for eternity. Would we be thinking that what we do today will be accounted for the next life?

"What we do in life, echoes in Eternity" (Quoted from Maximus line in Gladiator)

I don't mean to scare you really :) Finally just let me wish you a wonderful Christmas and year-end season.

Newborn baby

2006-11-28T17:06:00.000+01:00

Ceritanya seminggu yang lalu saya baru saja mengunjungi teman yang baru saja melahirkan. Duh kalau dilihat-lihat lagi ternyata generasi saya sudah cocok jadi mamah-papah ya. Ga terasa rasanya baru kemaren masuk bangku SMU sambil lirik-lirik berburu teman cowok yang cakep, jadi mak comblangnya temen, eh sekarang sudah banyak yang tunangan, menikah, bahkan punya anak. Alamakk saya belum bisa membayangkan kalau bayi itu anak saya sendiri bagaimana yaa hohohoho...nak ibukmu ini belum mapan, calon bapakmu juga masih perlu banyak berdoa dan berusaha supaya diberi berkat dan kemampuan yang cukup untuk membangun sebuah keluarga (hahaha....my wish??).

Yak malem itu kita berempat saya, Anton, Harbud, dan Hendra pergi ke rumah temen kita, Nova yang baru saja dikaruniai seorang putra bernama Ovaltine..eh...Milo ding. Bapaknya Milo? wah itu ceritanya panjang, saya cuma bisa bersyukur kalau teman saya Nova memilih untuk mempertahankan bayinya sampai lahir daripada membuangnya ketika bapaknya si orok tidak menginginkannya. Hasilnya? ya lahirlah si Milo bayi blasteran Indo-Belanda, cakep bok biar masi bebi.
Malam itu baby Milo lagi tiduran di dalam sarung selimut di atas sofa ketika mamahnya menyambut tamunya, siapa lagi kalau bukan kita hehehe. Berhubung sofanya terbatas, saya menawarkan diri mangku si Milo biar bisa duduk. Duhh kecilnya si Milo panjangnya ga lebih dari boneka Eeyore saya, begitu kecil begitu rapuh sampai-sampai ketika menggendongnya pun harus super hati-hati. Untung ibunya Nova rek, ga gitu kuatir kalau kita ngapa-ngapain bayinya..hehehehe sori-sori bercanda Nov.

Bayi Milo masih belum tahu apa-apa soal apa yang terjadi di antara mama-papanya. Yang dia tahu cuma nangis minum susu bobok dan buang air. Namun berkat Milo, Nova mulai belajar menjadi seorang ibu dan sang bapakpun rindu untuk menjadi bapak yang baik buat Milo. Lho? katanya bapaknya ga mau punya anak?
Cerita punya cerita, ternyata pacar Nova bapak Milo diundang pas Nova ngelahirin.Melihat perjuangan si cewek ngeden selama setengah harian (menurut Nova ada 15 jam-an) sampai rasanya mau mati, yang nungguin juga paling sampe ga sabar, trus akhirnya keluar juga si orok, luluhlah hati cowoknya melihat bayinya lahir dengan selamat dan sejak detik itu resmilah dia menjadi BAPAK. Kaya cerita sinetron yah? Ember...disyukurin saja lah kalau si cowok kini telah berubah hatinya dan memilih bertanggung jawab sebagai seorang ayah.

Balik soal si Milo. Mungkin ini yang disebut innocent yang paling innocent, di pangkuan saya (ato sekali-sekali dioper ke Harbud karena tangan keju juga kalau lama-lama), si Milo tetap saja bobok sambil bentar-bentar kedip-kedip trus bobok lagi ketika mamahnya lagi seru cerita bagaimana sekarang sang bapak seneng banget punya baby dan perhatiannya makin bertambah buat Nova ma Milo. Amiiinnn, puji Tuhan deh...bagaimanapun kalau sudah kehendak yang Di Atas pasti berjalan meskipun hanya melalui perantaraan seorang baby bernama Milo yang belum tahu apa-apa dan belum bisa dikasih tahu.

Sapa bilang bayi ga bisa apa-apa, Tuhan saja bisa memakai bayi sebagai alatNya. Baik menjadi hukuman karena perbuatan kedua orangtuanya ataupun menjadi pendamai dan pengikat dua orang yang pada mulanya tidak punya hubungan darah. Kecuali Yesus yang dikandung daripada Roh Kudus, bukankah setiap dari kita ini tercipta karena hasil kerjasama dua orang manusia yang beda kelamin?

Duh malah ngomongnya ngalor-ngidul...pokoknya buat Nova, Milo, dan bapaknya kita selalu doakan supaya kalian semakin erat dan dapat membangun keluarga yang bahagia di dalam Tuhan. Aminn.

Behold, the day is really upon of you

2006-11-24T18:45:00.000+01:00

Saya tahu bahwa banyak dari tulisan saya berisi hal-hal yang tidak bermutu. Namun kalau anda adalah seseorang yang bisa berbahasa Indonesia dan sedang membaca postingan ini, percayalah bahwa saat ini anda membaca bukan karena kebetulan. Saya hanya ingin mengatakan bahwa Hari Tuhan telah sangat dekat dan waktu kita di bumi ini sudah tidak lama lagi. Iya ini adalah hari yang kita semua mengenalnya sebagai hari kiamat.

Banyak orang terutama mereka yang percaya akan Yesus Kristus masih meragukan akan datangnya hari itu. Sejak kitab Daniel (perjanjian lama), Alkitab telah berulang kali menuliskan dan mengingatkan dengan sungguh tentang datangnya akhir zaman itu.
"...,dan akan ada suatu waktu kesesakan yang besar, seperti yang belum pernah terjadi sejak ada bangsa-bangsa sampai pada waktu itu. Tetapi pada waktu itu bangsamu akan terluput yakni barangsiapa yang didapati namanya tertulis dalam Kitab itu."
"Dan banyak dari antara orang-orang yang telah tidur di dalam debu tanah, akan bangun, sebagian untuk mendapat hidup yang kekal, sebagian untuk mengalami kehinaan dan kengerian yang kekal." (Daniel 12)

"Ketika hari Tuhan datang semua orang yang telah mati akan dibangkitkan kembali dan bagi mereka yang tercatat dalam Buku itu akan naik ke langit diselubungi awan."
Dan setiap orang yang tidak ditemukan namanya tertulis di dalam kitab kehidupan itu, ia dilemparkan ke dalam lautan api itu." (Wahyu11; Wahyu20)

Jaman tidaklah semakin baik. Tidak akan ada lagi tempat aman di atas bumi ini; apapun bisa terjadi tanpa memandang tempat dan waktu. Buku Heaven is So Real (Surga itu Sungguh Nyata) karangan Choo Thomas, mencatat setelah terjadinya peristiwa 11 September akan terjadi peristiwa-peristiwa yang lebih dasyat daripada itu. Ketika hal-hal ini terjadi, sungguh kita telah diingatkan bahwa waktunya sudah dekat bahwa Tuhan Yesus yang dikenal juga sebagai Nabi Isa akan datang untuk yang kedua kalinya untuk mengakimi orang yang hidup dan mati. Sepanjang pengetahuan saya pribadi setelah peristiwa 11 September, di Indonesia pada khusunya telah terjadi Tsunami (2004), lalu musibah terjangkitnya penyakit flu burung dan sapi gila, disusul dengan gempa bumi dasyat di Yogjakarta (2006), dan saat ini wilayah Sidoarjo dan sekitarnya terancam banjir lumpur panas yang diperkirakan tidak akan berhenti sampai waktu tiga tahun mendatang.
Di kawasan internasional kita juga mendengar tentang terjadinya gempa bumi di Pakistan, perang di mana-mana termasuk perang antara Israel dan Libanon beberapa saat yang lalu. Maafkan karena keterbatasan pengetahuan saya, saya hanya ingin menunjukan bahwa masa sekarang yang orang sering bilang adalah "masa-masa damai" (setelah perang dunia ke 2) ini sudah kadaluarsa. Injil Lukas menulis agar kita jangan terkejut dan panik ketika hal-hal di atas ini kita dengar dan alami, karena semuanya baru permulaannya saja.

"Dan apabila kamu mendengar tentang peperangan dan pemberontakan, janganlah kamu terkejut. Sebab semuanya itu harus terjadi dahulu, tetapi itu tidak berarti kesudahannya akan datang segera"
"...Bangsa akan bangkit melawan bangsa dan kerajaan melawan kerajaan, dan akan terjadi gempa bumi yang dahsyat dan di berbagai tempat akan ada penyakit sampar dan kelaparan dan akan terjadi juga hal-hal yang mengejutkan dan tanda-tanda yang dahsyat dari langit."

Saya bukan mau sok pamer Kekristenan dengan menulis hal-hal di atas. Melihat kehidupan saya sendiri, saya dahulu bukan seorang Kristen yang benar-benar taat meskipun saya terlahir di keluarga Kristen dan selalu ke gereja setiap hari Minggu. Para teman saya mengira saya adalah orang Kristen sejati karena saya pergi ke gereja setiap hari Minggu dan menjadi pekerja di gereja. Dalam urusan memuji dan menyembahpun, sejujurnya dulu saya hanya ikut-ikut untuk menyembah sambil mengangkat tangan. Anda boleh menyebut saya dulu adalah seorang yang munafik di hadapan manusia dan Tuhan sendiri. Kalau saya mengingatnya lagi sungguh saya malu mengakui saya adalah seorang pengikut Yesus.

Adapun alasannya kami sekeluarga dididik secara Kristen Protestan yang tidak melakukan baptisan selam dan tidak mengakui bahwa karunia bahasa roh itu dapat terjadi pada setiap orang yang rindu dan mau membuka hati kepada Roh Kudus untuk masuk dan mengajar setiap dari kita untuk berdoa dalam roh. Selama 19 tahun saya memegang kepercayaan ini dengan sungguh dan menanggap orang-orang di gereja hanya berpura-pura memiliki kemampuan berbahasa roh dan mengagung-agungkan baptisan selam. Walaupun demikian pada saat-saat tertentu saya dapat mendengar Tuhan berbicara seperti pada malam itu (pada sebuah acara fellowship di Haarlem) saat Dia meminta saya untuk dibaptis selam ketika saya sendiri sudah memutuskan untuk tidak datang dalam acara baptisan keesokan sorenya (karena sebenarnya saya telah diteguhkan (baptisan dewasa dengan dipercik) di sebuah gereja di Semarang).
Demikian pula dengan karunia berdoa dan menyembah dalam bahasa roh (akan diceritakan di lain kesempatan kalau ingat :) hehe).

"Tetapi saatnya akan datang dan sudah tiba sekarang, bahwa penyembah-penyembah benar akan menyembah Bapa dalam roh dan kebenaran; sebab Bapa menghendaki penyembah-penyembah demikian. "
" Allah itu Roh dan barangsiapa menyembah Dia, harus menyembah-Nya dalam roh dan kebenaran."

Saya berani menceritakan semuanya ini karena Bapa sendiri melalui perantaraan putriNya, saudari Choo Thomas, telah menyentuh hati dan pikiran saya melalui buku yang sudah saya sebutkan sebelumnya. Dan saya sungguh rindu untuk membagikan kepada saudara semua bahwa Tuhan memberikan peringatan ini bukan sekedar untuk menakut-nakuti, tetapi Dia sungguh rindu dan sudah tidak sabar untuk menunjukan kita tempat yang sudah Dia sediakan di Sorga bagi kita yang sungguh-sungguh mengasihiNya juga. Tuhan sudah siap, tetapi sudah siapkah kita?
Ada saat di mana saya menjadi sangat takut akan datangnya hari Tuhan itu. Bukan hanya peristiwa-peristiwa dan penderitaan hebat yang akan terjadi namun juga pertanyaan besar apakah saya akan turut mendapat bagian dalam kebangkitan yang pertama (the rapture) sebelum masa penderitaan besar yang dalam bahasa Inggrisnya disebut "Great Tribulation." Kalaupun saya tertinggal, dapatkah saya bertahan sampai mati menjadi pengikutNya? Biarpun pertanyaan-pertanyaan ini masih belum terjawab, saya cuma pegang satu hal: janji Tuhan adalah iya dan Amin. Dia setia, tidak pernah ingkar, dan terlebih lagi janjiNya tidak pernah terlambat.

Waktunya sudah dekat, hari itu sungguh akan tiba dan Tuhan sendiri berkata kedatanganNya lebih cepat dari yang telah kita bayangkan. Kalau Dia sendiri yang telah menyatakannya adakah alasan buat kita untuk masih meragukan kebenaranNya. Maka dari itu percayalah kepada Tuhan. Kasihilah dan kenallah Dia melalui firmanNya. Orang bilang kalau tidak kenal tidak sayang, namun Tuhan tetap sayang meskipun anda tidak begitu mengenalNya. Dia sungguh masih menanti jawaban pernyataan cintaNya kepada anda maka dari itu diberitahukannya semua tanda-tanda ini supaya yang sudah mengenalNya semakin mendekatkan diri dan menjalin hubungan yang lebih intim dengan Tuhan dengan berdoa dan melatih diri untuk beribadah.
Bagi anda yang belum menerima Tuhan Yesus, Dia masih menunggu dan memberikan waktu sampai kedatanganNya yang kedua kali. Maka dari itu saya hanya ingin menyampaikan pesan ini Tuhan mengasihi saudara dan saya, sungguh Dia tidak ingin satupun dari kita masuk ke dalam kematian yang kekal, namun banyak dari kita memilih menolak cintaNya dan melukai hatiNya. Jangan berpikir semua orang baik akan mendapatkan pahala besar di akhirat, kebaikanmu tidak akan menyelamatkanmu kalau saudara tidak mengenal siapa sang juruselamat yang hidup.
"Kata Yesus kepadanya: "Akulah jalan dan kebenaran dan hidup. Tidak ada seorangpun yang datang kepada Bapa, kalau tidak melalui Aku."

"Jagalah dirimu, supaya hatimu jangan sarat oleh pesta pora dan kemabukan serta kepentingan-kepentingan duniawi dan supaya hari Tuhan jangan dengan tiba-tiba jatuh ke atas dirimu seperti suatu jerat. Sebab ia (hari itu) akan menimpa semua penduduk bumi ini."
"Berjaga-jagalah senantiasa sambil berdoa, supaya kamu beroleh kekuatan untuk luput dari semua yang akan terjadi itu, dan supaya kamu tahan berdiri di hadapan Anak Manusia."

"...hari Tuhan akan tiba seperti pencuri. Pada hari itu langit akan lenyap dengan gemuruh yang dahsyat dan unsur-unsur dunia akan hangus dalam nyala api, dan bumi dan segala yang ada di atasnya akan hilang lenyap."

Blog..Goblogg

2006-11-10T01:07:00.000+01:00

Sejujurnya saya belum dapat memahami mengapa online journal ini dan yang lain-lain itu disebut blog. Ketika saya mengetikan kata Blog dalam resume saya di sebuah word document, windows menyatakannya sebagai salah spelling meskipun saya mencoba meng-inggriskannya sedemikian rupa. What's wrong? Apa mungkin karena begitu pinternya Bill Gates ga kenal istilah BLOG?

Blog blog apakah kamu itu tercipta karena sebuah ide goblok? Coba pikirkan kembali ide dasar sebuah journal atau diary adalah menulis sesuatu yang sifatnya penuh misteri dan privasi. Maka dari itu apakah benar adanya kalau seorang blogger mania harus membuat dirinya cukup goblok untuk mempublikasikan journalnya secara publik dan online?

Blog mengapa orang memutuskan untuk go-blog-ging? Apa mungkin kamu itu tercipta untuk menyalurkan aspirasi dan inspirasi orang-orang yang goblog (baca: amatir) di bidang tulis menulis?
Katakanlah salah satu contohnya saya sendiri. Sapa tahu kalau memang beruntung melalui tulisan-tulisan goblok di blog saya ini bisa ditemukan seorang pencari bakat yang ga sengaja mampir di blog (I wish?). Jadi penulis kek ataupun jadi tukang design website kan lumayan, ya ga?

Sayang sungguh sayang Blog, kamu itu bukan made in Indonesia alias bukan bahasa ibu saya (dari mana seh?? ada di wiki kagak?), jadi...semua pendapat dan asumsi saya di atas bisa dikata tidak berlaku dan tak bermutu sama sekali.

Anyway, mo goblok ngeblogging sampai bangkek kek

buat para blogger..kita tetap Go-Blogg!!!
(perhatian mohon dibaca yang bener dalam bahasa Inggris dan jangan sekali-kali mencoba membahasa-jawakannnya). Sekian dan terima kasih.

Bolehkan membenci orang lain?

2006-11-09T01:23:00.000+01:00

Hai teman mengapa engkau membenci sesamamu? Mengapa engkau sering kali menyimpan kesalahan dan merencanakan sebuah pembalasan ketika sesamamu itu berbuat sesuatu yang menyakiti hatimu?
Bukankah Tuhan memerintahkan setiap dari kita untuk saling mengasihi? Terlebih untuk mengampuni orang yang bersalah pada kita tujuhpuluh kali tujuh kali?
Memang benar pada masa perjanjian lama tangan diganti tangan, nyawa harus dibayar dengan nyawa. Namun semuanya itu sudah dihapuskan dengan hukum kasih, bukan? Ketika engkau ditampar pipi kananmu, maka berikanlah juga pipi kirimu. Adapun alasannya karena pembalasan tiada akhir, seseorang berbuat jahat padamu lalu engkau melakukan pembalasan, apakah setelah itu tidak akan ada lagi orang yang memikirkan sebuah pembalasan terhadapmu? Balas dendam itu tiada akhir namun kalau engkau memutuskan untuk memaafkan dan mengasihi musuhmu itu, adakah yang akan menuntut balas akan perbuatanmu itu?
Pada dasarnya kita tidak memiliki hak untuk menghakimi karena Tuhan sendiri berfirman penghakiman terhadap perbuatan seseorang itu adalah hak-Nya seorang. Terlebih ketika hari Tuhan itu datang, adakah seseorang yang dapat lari dari penghakiman terakhir itu, ketika setiap dari kita akan diminta pertanggungjawaban atas semua perbuatan yang pernah dilakukan selama hidup?

Orang mengasihi orang-orang dan teman-temannya yang berbuat baik adalah hal yang biasa dan semua orang melakukan hal itu. Tetapi jika engkau mengasihi orang yang menyakitimu bahkan musuh-musuhmu, saya tahu itu bukan sesuatu yang mudah dilakukan oleh kebanyakan orang namun jika kita bisa melakukannya bukankah itu lebih dari biasa?

Tuhan mengasihi semua ciptaanNya terlebih manusia yang diciptakan berdasarkan rupa dan gambaranNya. Dia sekalipun tidak pernah membenci seorang dari kita, ketika Dia membenci, kita tahu yang dibenciNya bukanlah orangnya melainkan perbuatannya yang tidak berkenan di hadapanNya.
Sebagai seorang yang sudah diangkat menjadi anakNya, pernahkah engkau berpikir hati Bapa terluka ketika melihat anak-anakNya berseteru satu dengan yang lain, menyimpan dendam dan merencanakan pembalasan? Seperti Bapamu yang di surga demikian pula orang tua kita di bumi. Saya masih mengingat betapa sakit dan kesalnya hati mama saya ketika saya bertengkar hebat dengan adik saya. Namun ketika kami sudah berbaikan, mama sayapun lega dan mengajak kami pergi makan di luar.

Tahukah kamu, bahwa tak satupun dari persembahan dan ibadahmu akan diterima Tuhan kalau engkau belum menyelesaikan masalahmu dengan seseorang? Dia berfirman, tinggalkanlah persembahanmu itu dan pergilah berdamai dengan saudaramu baru setelah itu bawalah persembahanmu kembali (Mat5:24). Pikirkanlah kembali betapa sia-sianya segala pengorbananmu untuk berpuasa, beramal, berbuat baik, tetapi ketika dalam hatimu engkau masih terus menyimpan kesalahan orang lain, Tuhan tidak menerima satupun dari semuanya itu.

Maka dari itu, berbicaralah empat mata dengan sesamamu itu, tegorlah dia, kalau dia menyesal, ampunilah. Kalau ternyata dia tidak menyesal juga? doakanlah dia, serahkan urusan selanjutnya kepada Tuhan. Kalau dia mengulang kesalahannya lagi? Ampunilah kalau dia datang kepadamu untuk meminta maaf. Ada beberapa orang yang terus melakukan hal-hal yang menyakiti kita dan tak sedikit dari mereka melakukannya dengan sengaja, namun selama kita tidak memikirkan sebuah pembalasan, yakinlah Bapamu yang di surga membenarkanmu dan Dia sendiri yang akan membela dan melakukan pembalasan untuk kita. Amiiinn...

Karena menurut ucapanmu engkau akan dibenarkan, dan menurut ucapanmu pula engkau akan dihukum (Mat 12:37)

My Father

2006-10-25T05:05:00.000+02:00

My Father is very big
He is so great and enormous, more than you can imagine
I cannot see His face nor how He looks like
but I can feel His presence
and I know is that He's always there for me

My Father is very kind
I ask so many things and I have so many wishes
Most of the time, He would give everything that I ask in His name
If only I do His commands first and be obidient and full hearted
He fullfils my needs and never lets me lack of something
However, I often ask for more and yet I forget to say thank you after my wishes are granted
Though I know all He ask is giving thanks with a grateful heart

My Father knows everything
He knows what is the best for me
But still I often do everything with my ways
and He seems say nothing about what I am doing by myself
then I make mistakes and have no way out
With a shy face, I come back to Him and ask Him to solve my problems
He smiles and make a way for me

My Father is full of love
and I know He loves me and you very much
Therefore, He never gets tired reminding me of my bad-deeds
and teach me hard how to behave as His daughter
I become upset and try to run away from Him
I think He doesn't care anymore when I'm away from Him
but the truth is that I close my eyes and ears from His voice
Then I realize I was wrong and
with a shame on my face and a regretful heart, I come back to Him
I am scared that He would reject me as I have become a bad bad child
but when I cry for forgiveness and confess all of my sins
He hugs me tight and says "welcome back my child, I have been waiting for you all the time"
and I cry even more, I'm relieved that I'm home

My Father is very big and high
When I look upon, I couldn't see His face because it's too bright and shiny
Strange, but I can tell when He's smiling or angry to me
Although physically I'm an adult
With Him, I always be His little girl
singing and dancing happily in front of Him
telling Him all my problems, complaints and what have happened today
He always listens all the things that I am saying patiently
For me, He is always be the one that I can rely on all the times,
my comfort and shelter

Before I say something, my Father knows and understands me very well.
He knows when I am tired enough,
then He let me go to sleep and send His angels to guide me.
I just wanna say, I'm thankful to be your daughter.

Kalau cinta memang buta..

2006-10-25T00:08:00.000+02:00

Orang sering berkata cinta itu buta, sayapun tidak jarang bertanya-tanya sebuta apakah cinta itu? adakah batasannya?

Seorang teman cukup bersyukur memiliki seorang sahabat ketika sahabatnya tahu-tahu berinisiatif untuk membantunya mendapatkan perhatian seorang cewek yang baru mereka kenal. Sebut saja Alan seorang yang ramah supel dan mudah sekali berteman, namun demikian hal itu membuat para gadis lebih suka untuk menjadikannya teman daripada seorang pacar. Lain halnya dengan si Barry, sahabat baik Alan sejak empat tahun yang lalu. Di mata para gadis Barry terkenal menarik dan pandai membaca hati seorang wanita. Tak elak lagi sudah banyak gadis yang menjadi suka kepadanya. Sampai pada suatu hari mereka berkenalan dengan Cherry, yang kebetulan adik kelas mereka.

Sejak Barry menawarkan bantuan dan dukungannya kepada Alan untuk mendekati Cherry, Alan menjadi semakin percaya diri bahwa dia akan mendapatkan perhatian Cherry. Barry memiliki segudang siasat supaya Alan dapat menarik perhatian cewek, seperti mengubah penampilannya, cara berbicara dengan cewek, sampai memberi surprise yang romantis. Alanpun mendengarkan dan mencoba saran-saran Barry. Pada mulanya semua berjalan lancar sampai Alan mulai melihat perubahan sikap Barry, dari seorang mak comblang yang lambat laun lebih terlihat seperti dirinya yang sedang mendekati Cherry.

Alan curiga kalau-kalau Barrypun mulai menaruh hati kepada Cherry. Makin hari, dia merasa Barry yang semula mendukung perjuangannya mendapatkan Cherry menjadi seseorang yang bersaing dengannya untuk mendapatkan Cherry untuk dirinya sendiri. Alan berpikir seorang sahabat harus saling terbuka, maka dari itu akhirnya Alan memutuskan untuk berbicara empat mata dengan Barry. Barry mengakui bahwa kadang kala dia tidak dapat mengontrol dirinya ketika bercakap-cakap dengan Cherry namun Barry meyakinkan Alan kalau dia masih mendukungnya dan berusaha mengubah kelakuannya. Alanpun merasa sedikit lega karena Barry mau berkata apa adanya. Meskipun demikian, kepercayaan dirinya telah menurun melihat kenyataan kalau benar Barry mendekati Cherry juga maka hampir tidak ada peluang buatnya untuk mendapatkan perhatian gadis itu.

Semakin hari bukannya berkurang, sikap Barry terhadap Cherry semakin menunjukkan kalau dirinya tertarik kepada gadis itu. Alan tidak habis pikir apa maksud perkataan Barry beberapa hari yang lalu. Baginya perkataan dan perbuatan Barry sama sekali bertolak belakang. Alan merasa dibodohi. Sekali lagi dia bertanya kepada Barry apakah dia menyukai Cherry, dan sekali lagi Barry mengelak seraya berkata Cherry bukan tipe gadis yang disukainya dan dia hanya ingin menjadi teman dekatnya. Hanya saja kali ini Barry menambahkan, kalau shit does happen dan Cherry akhirnya bersamanya bagaimana pendapat Alan. Alan yang sedang dimakan amarah tanpa berpikir segera menjawab, kalau hal itu terjadi maka berakhirlah persahabatan di antara mereka. Barrypun menjadi terdiam mendengar reaksi Alan.

Apakah saat itu sebenarnya Barry telah mencoba berkata jujur kalau dia menyukai Cherry di samping kekhawatirannya akan dianggap tidak tulus oleh sahabat yang semula didukungnya itu? Setelah mendengar jawaban keras Alan, sepertinya hal itu telah membulatkan keputusan Barry untuk menyembunyikan kenyataannya dari Alan.

Cinta atau mungkin lebih ke arah hasrat dan napsu itu mungkin memang membutakan hati dan pikiran. Saat pikiran dan hati nurani ingin berkata "tidak" karena ini akan merusak sebuah persahabatan, hasrat berkata "aku ingin memiliki" dan mulutpun seringkali lebih mengikuti hasrat daripada suara hati.

Cherry menyukai Barry, Barry dan Alan menyukai dirinya namun Cherry tidak sadar akan hal itu sampai akhirnya... Dua hari setelah pembicaraan kedua sahabat itu, Alan mendengar dari seorang temannya kalau Barry telah jadian dengan Cherry. Ketika prasangkanya menjadi kenyataan ditambah kenyataan bahwa dirinya bukanlah yang pertama mendengar kabar itu dari mulut sahabatnya sendiri, Alan menjadi sangat kecewa dan semakin merasa tidak dihargai dan dikhianati oleh orang yang selama ini dia anggap teman terbaiknya.
Sejak hari itu pula, Barry tidak pernah mengontak Alan dan cenderung menghindar darinya. Mungkin Barry berharap Alan akan memaklumi dan mengerti seiring dengan berlalunya waktu.

Lalu apakah arti persahabatan yang telah mereka bentuk selama bertahun-tahun? Bukankah seorang sahabat adalah teman yang paling bisa dipercaya dan kepadanya kita mampu menceritakan rahasia-rahasia kita? (Yoh 15:15; tentang kasih dan persahabatan)
Demikian pula dengan cinta,
Apakah Barry sungguh memikirkan perasaan Alan atau dia hanya mementingkan dirinya sendiri? Apakah pernyataan cintanya kepada Cherry hanya didasari napsu belaka?
Demikian pula dengan Alan, di manakah kasihnya terhadap Barry ketika dirinya dikuasai amarah dan iri hati? Dapatkah dia memaafkan Barry?
(Gal 5:14-26; berisi tentang keinginan daging dan buah-buah roh termasuk di dalamnya tertulis tentang orang makan teman sendiri dan pengendalian diri)

Why is this site called Bug's tale?

2006-10-16T02:23:00.000+02:00

After two and half year writing on this blog, finally I try to describe why this blog is called my Bug's tale. Starting from the very first time I published my first post, I had already picked this title for my site under the address "le4theflea.blogspot.com."
I think from the address itself, it explains enough that "The Tale" is anything about or originally written by the owner of the blog, which is me (of course hohohoho). At the first time, many of my friends would likely comment that the title was not suitable enough as most of my posts were written in (broken) Indonesian (note: my native language is Javanese actually).

Yep, let me introduce myself. My name is simply Lea and the phrase "lea the flea" was created because the word "flea" sounds very much well-matched with my short name. I used this name as my email for the first time. Later on, this phrase has become my authentic image after some incidents that happened before I published this blog.

Let's see if I can recall all the things that brought me to name this site Bug's tale:

In 2002, I opened a yahoomail account under name le4_the_flea@yahoo.com . In fact, this is one of my two yahoo accounts that's still active until today. I made a lot of accounts for free but accidentally Yahoo closed almost all of them because I forgot the password, sometimes the username, and in another occassion, I hardly opened them in a month.

August-September 2002, my first summer in Holland, I was living in a room at a modified-old-Catholic church building, Heilig Hart Kerk Student Dorm, and among more than 40 rooms, my room was the only room that got infected by bugs and fleas more than two times straight in two months. During my bed time those fleas living inside my bed were consuming my blood and left many red-itchy-dots on my body and face. Since that time onward, my fellow students called me "kutu," which in English it is translated into flea. (don't ask me why)

Most of my friends have known that I got a chicken pox exactly on my (sweet) seventeenth birthday, and I recovered with many little keloids on my back (if you don't know what "keloid" is, please check this site Keloid). According to them, those looks similar with the black spots owned by a tiny bug called ladybug. That does reinforce my image as the queen of flea. (Anyone please stop me writting this..)

ok to be continued next time, it's bed time bye for now.

Lagu minggu ini

2006-10-16T01:22:00.000+02:00

Saya sedang bingung, tahu-tahu muncul script aneh di blog saya. Anyone knows why?? pls pls tell me. Sebetulnya ga begitu mengganggu sih, cukup dengan mengeklik cancel dua kali maka blog nya kembali normal (sepertinya).
Di tengah kebingungan saya, berikut adalah lirik lagu favorit saya minggu ini yang dinyanyiin sama Jikustik dan Lea Simanjuntak. Hehehe nama penyanyinya sama lho kaya nama saya :p, Eits tetapi bukan karena itu saya jadi suka lagu ini. Duuhhh toulongg yaaa...*quoted from Yanni (sigh miss you mbak)* Kalau didengerin berulang-ulang kerasa ga sih kalau lagu ini tuh kaya lirik lagu rohani?

Buat saya, cukup mengingatkan saya akan Tuhan yang bakal selalu menyertai kita, memberi kekuatan saat kita mulai kehilangan arah??? (untuk bacaan lebih lanjut: Yesaya 40:29-31; Mat28:20) Hehe..anyway enjoy this song :) :)

Aku Datang Untukmu

Jangan Takut Berjalan Sendirian
Ada Aku Turut Menuntun Jalan
Saat Hatimu Diserang Kesepian... Aku Datang

Redam Badai, Lakukan Dengan Tenang
Hujan Ini Akan Engkau Kalahkan
Kalau Hatimu Percaya Padaku... Aku datang

Kau Jadi Samudera, Aku Langitnya
Memeluk Dunia, Kita Berdua...

Menyelamatkanmu...
(A Gentleman Saviour, A Knight In Shinning Amour)
Tetap Disampingmu...
(From The Cold Of Winter Through An Endless Summer)
Aku Datang Untukmu...

Jangan Takut Kehilangan Pegangan
Ada Aku Berimu Kekuatan
Agar Dirimu Mampu Untuk Bertahan...
Aku Datang...

If You Were The Ocean Than I'll be The Sea
Wherever You May Go, That's Where I'll Be...
Kau Jadi Samudera, Aku Langitnya...
If You Were The Ocean Than I'll be The Sea
Memeluk Dunia, Kita Berdua...
That's Where I'll Be...

Bagi yang mau tahu lagunya seperti apa silakan meng-email saya atau cari deh direct download di multiply.com . Ngiklan banget ga seh?? duuhhh toulong yaa....*ngikik*

Untuk apa manusia diciptakan?

2006-10-11T01:17:00.001+02:00

Sering kan mendengar bahwa setiap dari kita diciptakan dan dilahirkan ke dunia ini dengan sebuah tujuan. Untuk apakah sebenarnya?
Alasan yang utama dan paling mendasari adalah, kita diciptakan "for the glory of the LORD" yang kalau saya terjemahkan bebas dalam bahasa Indonesia adalah "untuk memuliakan/kemuliaan Tuhan sang pencipta." (Pernyataan ini dikutip bebas dari buku Purpose Driven Life (chapter 1) dan Heaven is so real!)

Lalu?
Kalau begitu bukankah sudah sewajarnya kalau cinta atau kasih yang kita miliki haruslah ditujukan kepada Tuhan terlebih dahulu (agape)? lalu kepada keluarga (storge) dan saudara (phileo), baru yang terakhir cinta di antara seorang laki-laki dan wanita (eros).
Namun seringkali sebagai manusia, kita menempatkan kekasih atau pacar kita di atas segalanya.
Sebagai akibatnya banyak orang khawatir dengan hubungan cintanya, menjadi sulit untuk berkomitmen karena teralu banyaknya pilihan dan godaan, sampai mengalami sakit hati dan patah hati yang berulang-ulang karena belum menemukan (apa yang dianggap) pasangan yang tepat. Ada yang bilang kalau hal-hal yang tersebut tadi itu hanya berlaku buat yang masih single atau in a relationship.
Kalau saya boleh menerjemahkan lagi (ciee..) dalam kehidupan pernikahan kalimat-kalimat tadi bisa diterjemahkan menjadi kurang percaya kepada pasangan, perselingkuhan, dan yang paling parah berakhir dengan sebuah perceraian.

Aduuhh saya ini menulis apaan sih? Belum pernah nikah sudah ngomong macem-macem. Mohon dimaklumi, karena yang nulis sedang bingung bikin tugas jadi teringat untuk mengupdate blognya.

Anyway, saya cuma ingin bilang: dahulukanlah Tuhan dalam segala hal yang terjadi dalam hidup ini, maka semuanya akan diberi jalan keluar (note: kalau diimani dengan sungguh). Termasuk yang sedang mencari jodoh yang tepat dan yang masih ragu apakah pacar yang sekarang tuh calon yang tepat :) Amiiiinn.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matt 6:33)

Autumn Anime 2006

2006-10-01T19:46:00.000+02:00

By the end of Summer 2006, some my favourite animes have come to their end. Some of those are Honey and Clover II (bubye my beloved Shinobu Morita), School Rumble Ni gakki (can't wait for the 3rd term), Ouran Hosto Bu (*sigh I miss you Kyouya, Renge-chan, and Tamaki), and not forget to mention xxxholic (*ike..Watanuki kun). Moreover, in the coming weeks, I think Nihon Hikkimori Kyoukai youkoso! and NANA will have to finalize their story too. So sadd...

Anyway as the season is changing to Autumn, I am more than ready to start watching new animes hehehe...so here are my new watching list:

Dr. Gray (exorcist-like anime, dark but funny)
Death Note (finally the anime is being produced hohohoho...)
Asatte no Houkou (I recall the AIR anime except there is less humour this time, quite boring sometimes -__-)
Ghost Hunt (the first episode doesn't impress that much; a bit creepy with some light comedies. However, the story seems going to be interesting series)
Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (a bit alike F4, four bishounen and one ugly-duck-like girl, I can't stop laughing while watching it; unfortunately the graphic is rather dissapointing)
Negima (no other than the new version of mahou sensei negima)
Bartender?? (this is a quite mature and yet not common anime about god-hand bartender)

Kalau boleh jujur-jururan kaya jujur kacang ijo...

2006-09-12T23:12:00.000+02:00

Iya neehh...ngomong-ngomong blog ini selama bulan Agustus lalu bener-bener kosong ga pernah diupdated. Kemanaa neehhh yang punyaa?? Kalau mau jujur blog saya itu tidak mempunyai banyak pengunjung kecuali orang-orang yang nganggur yang sedang memuter otak mencari kunci jawaban puzzle online notpron yang saya mainkan setahun yang lalu dan akhirnya menyerah setelah level 30 hahaha...Lah kalau sekarang saya tidak main lagi alasannya sebenarnya cukup simpel. Apa coba tak lain adalah saya sudah bosan hahahaha (yee ketawa lagi).

Herannya biar sepi-sepi begitu masih saja ada orang yang ngiseng singgah di blog ini trus ngomel ke saya. Dari awal bulan sampai bulannya abis postingan koq masih saja tentang Susu Coklat ala Belanda??? Dan saya selalu mengelak bahwa setelah momen susu coklat itu saya menjadi kerajingan maen neopets selama sebulan. Kalau ditanya apakah itu 100 persen benar, saya jawab yah 45 persennya memang begitu adanya.

Saya mau jujur nih...ciee anggap saja pengakuan saya:

Benernya di bulan Agustus itu saya tidak punya mood dan ide ngisi blog a.k.a. bosen. Blog saya dulu sempet aktif setiap hari karena yang punya sedang punya gawe jadi wanita kantoran. Berhubung kerjaan sudah kelar yah rutinitas ngeblogpun jadi berkurang.

Sebenernya tuhh...yang punya blog kerajingan maen Neopets bukan karena efek samping minum Susu Coklat Belanda. Serius lho..Fakta yg sebenernya: kebiasaan maen neopets lagi itu disebabkan hal-hal yang saya sudah sebutkan di point sebelumnya, pas magang ga ada kerjaan mulailah saya mengurus neopets-neopets saya di tengah-tengah jam kantor. Adapun postingan ini ditulis dalam bahasa Indonesia dimaksudkan untuk menghindari pihak-pihak yang berurusan tidak dapat mengerti apa yang saya tulis di sini.. honto ni gomen nasai miina-sama.

Mumpung sudah nganggur, iseng-iseng saya melamar jadi guru sekolah minggu menemani anak-anak bermain dan menyanyi di gereja selama summer...luccuuuuu.

Yang paling bener lagi, bulan Agustus itu adalah bulan liburan saya setelah setahun magang tidak pernah berlibur. Saya sangat bersyukur mempunyai teman-teman yang memiliki keahlian menyetir dan suka mengajak saya pergi-pergi kemana saja mulai dari Amstelveen centrum, luar kota, sampai luar negeri dan tentu saja dengan biaya yang bisa dibilang seadanya asal ada kamera dan poto kenangan. Selama bulan Agustus lalu saya mengunjungi Nijmegen bertemu Jovita, dilanjutkan Rotterdam (acara nganggur setelah pulang gereja melihat kota Rotterdam setelah toko-toko tutup), Zaanse Schaans (hujan-hujan mau lihat kincir angin), Zandvoort (maem pizza ama panekoek), Groningen (ngurus ijasah), belanja barang factory outlet Batavia stad di Lelystad. Berlanjut ke Luxembourgh di keesokan harinya dan dinner di Belgium bersama Yanni Hendra Lordy dan tidak lupa Tom-tom navigasinya. Akhirnya trip bulan kemarin ditutup dengan sebuah trip ke Barcelona bersama Anton (tentu saja ini termasuk pengalaman tidur di bandara dan nggelandang semalam di (luar) stasiun kereta di Barcelona).

Akhirnya saya sekarang di Belanda lagi berjuang untuk belajar Akuntansi dan memikirkan masa depan. Ternyata memang tidak mudah, semoga dengan berjalannya waktu saya akan lebih terbiasa untuk menjalani semua ini. Mohon bantuan doannya yaa.... ^^

Ucapan terima kasih saya sampaikan kepada

Tuhan Yesus untuk semua wonderful things yang boleh terjadi selama bulan Agustus kemaren. Meskipun cuaca tidak bisa dibilang sangat bagus, YOU have made everyday was a good day.
Bang Hendra dan neng Yanni yang selalu memiliki acara dadakan, biar dadakan tetapi kelakon juga..salut deh sama pasangan satu ini.
Jovita dan Flo yang bersedia ngeluangin waktu buat menemani saya selama satu hari di Nijemegen. Thankss beraatt...moga-moga akan ada kesempatan kaya gini lagi di lain waktu entah di Belanda atau di Semarang yaa.
Bung Lordy...........best driver and inspirator ever, yang suka ngajak-ngajak banyak ide tapi jarang kelakon karena diannya sibuk kerja.
Hmmm Tom-tom Navigasinya Hendra buat panduannya selama perjalanan ke Luxembourgh. Biar kamu cuma diam selama jalan lurus ke depan yang penting kita tidak menyasar sampai tujuan.
Dan tentu saja Antoooonnn, hunny you're the best buat supportnya, makanan, rice cooker, kamera-man, sampai guide nya selama di Barcelona hahaha. We made it lhoo...hebat ya akhirnya kesampaian juga perginya.

Where were you when the planes hit the twin?

2006-09-11T20:11:00.000+02:00

I was sitting and listening to the pastor at Crossroad International Church with a little drowsy look on my face until the time the pastor rose a question, "I am sure most of you who are here now can remember what were you doing at the moment you heard the 11 September incident five years ago."

In my half-sleeping mode, I tried to recall that moment and that picture just came back to me like an old movie, very clear and vivid.
It was quite late at night in Semarang, my 18 years-old me turned on the television in our dorm when everyone was in their own room. I drank a glass of water relaxing while watching that phenomena lively on RCTI, one of Indonesian channel. I did never think or even try realizing that the news that I was watching was one of the world most tragedic moments. For me at that time, it was an amazing phenomena to see a plane hit one of the tower and then another plane flew and hit the other one and finally both towers gradually destructed until they bumped on the ground. "WOW" that was my very first comment.

A couple months afterwards, I graduated from high school and went back to my town, Kediri. My dad who was checking his inbox on his computer suddenly called me. Did you know what my father showed me ?
One of his friends sent him a email with a picture attached, no other than a picture of WTC's victims who was found dead with a crashed body because he was assumed jumping from one of the tower to save himself. I think I don't have to tell you the detail since it was very awful, sickening, yet tragic to see.

Now how could I still think that was a world amazing phenomena just like a movie scene? It was the most tragic tragedy that I have ever known during my whole 18 years of living in this world (obviously before the tsunami 2004).

As a high school girl, I used to think that it was an accident and it just accidentally happened because some bad bad people hijacked two random planes. They were stupid that's why they failed, made the planes flew to the wrong directions and finally killed themselves in the incident.
When I grew up to be a college girl who accidentally chose to attend a class called International Politics and Business Policy (yes...actually I hate knowing or reading anything about politics) I learnt that that was an interpretation of a project that was carefully managed and well planned for a long time by a group of people that the world know as the terrorist. Even the death of the hijackers was a part of the main plans. Clever in the man's mind, still stupid in the after life judgement's point of view (excuse me this is my free opinion).

So back to my question. where were you? or what were you doing at that moment? sleeping or working? Anyway, wherever you are and whatever you have been doing do not let your guard down.
The world's time is getting closer to its end (we all know that one day on earth is equal with 1000 days in heaven, if Father says it's coming soon, who knows when?).

More important than that, your time is not getting longer either and it may be even shorter that you have ever imagined.
because I would say there is no safe place anymore in this world,
anything can happen at anytime, is it man-made (e.g. terrorist) or God-made (natural causes)..none can stop it when it is the time.

Echt Chocomelk

2006-08-10T13:29:00.000+02:00

Saya sedih...ga sengaja foto ini ke resized hiks hiks...jadinya maaf kalau gambarnya kekecilan. Can't help it.
Bersama teman-teman baru Florence ma Jovita kita mencoba susu coklat asli Belanda di sebuah cafe tua di Nijmegen, salah satu kota tertua di Belanda pula. Cukup menarik karena setelah memesan tiga susu coklat berikut ini adalah minuman yang disajikan:
- satu cangkir susu murni panas
- coklat chips
- sekoci liquor
- dan segelas air putih

Cara minumnya? Suka-suka kita dong, boleh minum susunya trus minum liquornya baru maem chipsnya atau campurkan semuanya ke cangkir susu, masukan coklat chip nya satu persatu ke dalam susu dan sedikit liquor sampai dirasa rasanya pas di lidah..yummy.
Harganya? wah tidak bisa dibilang murah tetapi worth koq, dengan 2,40 Euro untuk menikmati sensasi susu coklat Belanda jaman dahulu

Backpacker

2006-08-08T22:02:00.000+02:00

I find myself as a stranger in a strange city.
I am walking whole day but there is no place called home to stay.
I am not a homeless nor a nomadic...I just don't want to go home yet.
With a big bag on my back and a piece of map on my hand, I search and I try reaching each place that I've seen on the map during the day.
I hope my day always starts early in the morning and it would end very late in the night so that I would make a good use of one day that I have in this place.

I don't need a good room to get a good sleep
as....
I never know when I will be back
neither how far have I walked
not because I have no money to pay

When I find a place with shelter and a toilet, there will I end the day.
When the sun has gone down and I have no power anymore, there will I restore my energy.
The floor is my bed and my bag is my pillow. I tie it tightly on my back so that it always stays with me until the next couple of hours when I open my eyes.

Suffering? If I compare with the amounts of places I've been and seen more than anyone else, my answer will be "no." I'm satisfied with it and it's a pride to be a backpacker.

Oshimai

2006-08-08T18:02:00.000+02:00

My internship has been over about more than a week ago. Not so many words too say but I'm very satisfied with my result. I think I've been a bit more mature, haven't I?
Have more confidence, not scared anymore to be a bit talkative and communicative as I've been trained in the last 12 months to interact with many people from different companies, cultures, and positions. Well not 100% true but I feel I'm improved *proud (self declaration).

Thanks to my beloved boss, Osada-san who has granted me an opportunity to work as a trainee. I always remember her as a supervisor who likes telling a lot of stories, we could talk for whole days about different things that happened in our surroundings and when I told her my stories she amazingly recalls all of them. During my stay there, she always cared about me, prepared a croissant for my breakfast everyday, always ready to answer my questions and never got tired helping me with my projects. For me, she's a boss and a mother-like friend.

A special gratitute also goes to my two colleagues Misumi-san who always told me a lot of gossips and reminded me about the things that should be done and of course to Motojima-san who is patient enough to react on my strange questions.

I am pretty sure I would never find such a workplace anymore in the future. JCC is indeed the most special place for a placement. Now as I don't work there anymore, I think I will miss my office with its wonderful view of Amsterdam city that makes everyone envies us for having such a nice view. Anyway, life must go on and I cannot stay too long looking back at what I have done at JCC. Let it be one of the most exciting experiences in my life. Honestly, I'm a bit too free and having less things to do now ^^.

Rie, I'm finished too. I think now I know how you felt when you handed over your place to me a year ago. I'm having that feeling too and it's quite hard to let go. Thanks for promoting JCC to me... :) and thank you JCC for giving me the best placement place.

Farewell

2006-07-24T10:12:00.000+02:00

YOu are leaving us...one by one, most of you.

Time does fly very fast before we realize it..I quoted this phrase from Mr. Kato, the head of Bank of Tokyo Mitsubishi UFJ, who came to our office last Friday. Perhaps that was the last time I met him too because he's leaving for Bahrain today and planning to move there in September.

Forgive me for being such a indifferent person, one who hardly gets in touch with you in Haarlem. However, when it comes to the moment like this I often recall all the memories that we had from the moment when we were just freshmen in Hogeschool InHolland.
All those struggles of adapting with a new foreign place, tears and happiness, all efforts in the last 4 years finally should be ended by the mean of graduation ceremony.
Those are more than enough to face the fact that it is hard to say the word "goodbye and take care" to all of you who are going back to Indonesia for good.

Are you back for pursuing your dream?
Are you going to be ok there? or don't you miss Holland?
Would we meet again someday and would you still remember me?

I don't know but perhaps it's true if someone says I am an egoist and a-social person with a lot of curiosities of new places and new experiences. I went to Sweden for 2 semesters and when I came back I preffered living in a totally brand new environment to Haarlem, that's why I am here in Amstelveen surviving.

When I was feeding my curiousities, unconciously, I think I have neglected my friends too much. I broke so many promises just because of my laziness travelling 1.5 hours from Amstelveen to Haarlem. Shame on me (-__-#)

I am not good in socialization neither in building a long lasting friendship, but I always remember each of you in a special way :) (I don't ask you to believe it though )
Now that the time is almost up, I just realize that I should have spent more time with you guys..to know you much more and to let you to know me a little bit more.

Well I still do not want to say goodbye...would it be better to say "see you in the future and take a good care of yourself"?

Dedicated to all colleagues from class 2006, Haarlem

Best wishes,

Lea

Ambil Cutii....Taking a break

2006-07-18T15:21:00.000+02:00

untuk sementara waktu blog saya akan absen beberapa minggu dikarenakan yang punya blog baru pindahan dan belum ada sambungan internetnya.

this blog will be vacant for a couple of times until my internet connection is well established in my new room....

apa benar begini terjemahannya ??? ^^;

*sigh...when...when????

My graduation

2006-07-18T10:51:00.000+02:00

Finally, my wish is granted Thank you God...Everyone has graduated last week was my turn. Yes I am a Bachelor of Business Administration now, a graduate from University InHolland Haarlem (Lea it is a hogeschool not university...uh oh whatever).

Actually if I think it over, what's the cool of having that title? It is simply hard to describe. All I know that I managed to complete my course on time hehe...You know what, I was even called as the first 5 to graduate. Although it was randomly decided I mean it was not based on academic grade, I was delighted to be called as the 4th graduate. My father was there standing with his camera smiling proudly while taking my picture. I couldn't see my mother and sister as they were sitting in the back. But I know that they were very happy for me.

I do not have a bunch of friends besides my classmates who also graduated on that day. But the presence of two great friends, Anton and Hariadi are more than enough. I thanked them for witnessing a modest ceremony of us. Simple but exciting though the hat was a little bit oversized oups...some of my friends couldn't wear it without holding it tight. Anna..if you read this post, I envy you because your graduation's hat was somewhat better. In the end all of us got our diploma, a silver InHolland pen, a hat, and a white rose. The roses were being put in a bucket filled with water until someone accidentally kicked it.... (> <) I personally think those events were the most interesting part of all in spite of the long diplomatic speeches from the docents.

And here is my song for celebration...1...2...3...

As we go on

We remember

All the times we

Had together

And as our lives change

Come whatever

We will still be

Friends forever



So if we get the big jobs

And we make the big money

When we look back now

Will our jokes still be funny?

Will we still remember everything we learned in school?

Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?

Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye

Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

And this is how it feels....lallalalalaaa....



After all....I am still in Holland not back yet for good.
I have an internship to finish
and new course to start in the coming 2 months.

I wonder if my life just starts here...

Jerman kalah masih ada Prancis

2006-07-05T13:28:00.000+02:00

Ihiks...sedih..kenapa? abis tim yang saya jagoin tidak ada yang menang. Korea Selatan yang dikibulin sama Swiss. Setiap kali sekarang disinggung soal itu, saya langsung protes, "Itu off side...gol kedua itu offside...wasitnya goblok udah tuek rabun ga mau disalahin lagi huhuhu.." Yee mentang-mentang sekarang saya mulai lebih mengerti tentang off-side *huek...cuih..cuih..

Tim kedua yang saya jagoin adalah Jerman dan akhirnya kemarin malam tim tuan rumah harus pulang setelah merelakan gawangnya dimasuki bolanya Italia dua kali. Pulang kemana??? ya kerumah masing-masing lah...namanya juga tuan rumah. Kasian juga Jerman, kirain mereka bakal berakhir seri dengan Italia...sapa sangka Del Piero yang saya kira sudah berakhir masa-masa jayanya tanpa sengaja masukin satu bolaaa (ini namanya orang ga terima kalau tim andalannya dikalahin). Makanya saya bilang juga apa....tim tuan rumah MERELAKAN gawangnya saudara-saudara...(sedang baek hati kaliii).
Jerman kalah yang nangis satu negara
Sudah kalah masih disuruh minjemin lapangan bola buat negara lain lagi...huhu
*dari kejauhan terdengar suara background, si Anton yang sedang teriak-teriak Itali...Itali...

Jangan kuatir perang masih berlangsung koq say...belum ada yang menang dan yang kalah. Selama abang-abang gundul dari negeri Napoleon masih bersinar kepalanya harapan masih ada...go Zidane...go Barthez goolll!!

Ternyata saya belum ada mood untuk blogging lagi...

When I am not in the mood of blogging

2006-07-04T10:58:00.000+02:00

When I am not in the mood of blogging.....
.....I am playing Neopets
......I am thinking of making a new skins with Kogepan background :p cute!!
......I am wondering around to some friends' blogs
......I am collecting more neopoints
......I am posting in the neoitems.net

After all... I am in Neopets mood....poor my pets they were dying after I left them more than 10 months *sigh yet they think I am their best owner until I abandon them in the pet central.

Nonton Drama Asia Nyookk...

2006-06-27T22:37:00.000+02:00

Siapa yang suka nonton drama asia?? Jepang, Korea, atau China??? Ayo angkat tangan!!! Saya salah satunya juga ding hehehe...Kalau ditanya mana yang paling berkesan, sebetulnya cukup sulit juga untuk menentukannya karena masing-masing negara punya ciri khasnya sendiri. Berikut ini ulasan singkat saya tentang drama-drama Asia yang ada di benak saya.

Drama Jepang dikenal juga dengan Jdorama.
Biasanya memiliki tema yang cukup sederhana. Ceritanya berkisar kehidupan sehari-hari orang Jepang. Mungkin karena tema yang biasa-biasa ini orang biasanya tidak pernah bosan mengikuti dorama Jepang. Perkembangan ceritanya cukup tidak terduga dan kadang endingnya pun tidak seperti yang dibayangkan. Berikut ini alur cerita yang biasanya disajikan dalam dorama Jepang.

Orang kantoran berusia 30 an belum dapet jodoh pergi ke acara matchmaker
Gadis SMU yang jatuh cinta kepada cowok yang lebih tua termasuk guru muda yang baru saja pindah ke sekolahnya. Gurunya cuek sok cool dan punya masa lalu yang suram. Alternative lain gadis smu itu memiliki penyakit kronis yang ga ada obatnya
Seorang lelaki setengah baya yang ditinggal mati istrinya dan hidup berdua dengan anaknya, biasanya anak perempuan sih.
Kehidupan kakak adik di sebuah apartemen tanpa orangtuanya, si kakak bekerja keras dan adik masih di sekolah. Kalau kakaknya cowo adiknya cewe di SMU biasanya si adik ga sengaja hamil karena pacarnya.
Kalau yang main Takuya Kimura biasanya akan berkisar tentang satu kerjaan profesional. Jadi pilot, pemaen hoki, tukang potong rambut, pengacara, atau jadi pembalap
Cewek yang menderita penyakit mematikan jatuh cinta kepada pemuda yang sehat walafiat.
Seringkali ceweknya yang agresif dan bilang duluan kalau dia suka si cowok...yeee cowok-cowok Jepang koq pada melempem ya?? sok jaim ahh...
Kalau ceritanya seputar kehidupan orang-orang kantor, abis kerja pergi ke bar minum beer trus si cowok nganterin si cewek sampai depan apartemennya.
Cowoknya belum tentu ganteng tetapi para cewek yang ngiler sama dia cantiknya bukan maen.
Jarang sih yang bercerita tentang perbedaan kelas sosial, kebanyakan pemeran utamanya berasal dari kelas menengah ke atas (pengecualian buat hana yori dango nih hehe).
Antara episode satu dengan yang lain biasanya ceritanya ga teralu berhubungan. Di tiap episode selalu menyajikan satu cerita pendek yang ada penyelesaiannya di akhir episodenya.

Dan masih banyak yang lainnya..wah dakara watashi dorama ga dai-suki desuuu.

Lain negara lain pula dramanya apalagi yang suka nonton Korean drama pasti sudah tahu cerita apa yang bakal ditampilkan. Berikut adalah pendapat pribadi saya.

Lakonnya ada empat orang dua cowok cakep dan dua cewek cakep. 2 cowok dan satu cewek anak orang kaya yang cewek terakhir anak orang kere.
Kalau drama Korea jaman bahula, biasanya ceritanya super sedih ngalah-ngalahin kehidupan nyata. Tetap saja lakonnya masih 4 orang, inget Endless love ga?
Cewek kere jatuh cinta kepada seorang cowok kaya (sebut saja si A).
Di awal cerita si cewek kere biasanya penuh derita tetapi tetap kuat menghadapi hidup (cieee...) biarpun diinjek-injek disia-sia ama si cowok A yang punya segalanya.
Yang maen si cewek kere pasti cakep lebih cantik daripada si cewek kaya..biar gitu dia selalu dianggap dan dipanggil jelek dan si cewek kaya selalu dipanggil cantik.
Si cewek sepanjang hari ga pernah tidak pakai make up mulai bangun tidur gosok gigi sampai tidur wajah tetap bermake-up. Kecuali kalau sudah sekarat mau matek...
Cowok A punya kisah cinta dengan cewek kaya yang akhirnya putus gara-gara cewek kere.
Cowok A dengan cowok kaya B tu sahabat baek yang akhirnya bertengkar karena cowok B ada hati dengan cewek kere.
Cowok B adalah seorang playboy kelas kakap yang bertobat setelah berkenalan dengan cewek kere.
Biarpun udah tahu saling suka, cowok A dengan cewek kere sepanjang cerita berlangsung ga pernah ada satu episodepun keduanya akur dan ga adu mulut....buragu???
Akhir cerita, cewek kere jadian ma cowok A...cewek kaya dan cowok B meranaaa dan merestui hubungan keduanyaaaa...
Kalau diperhatiin lagi mulai dari episode 1 sampai terakhir baju para pemainnya tiap hari tiap episode ga pernah ada yang sama kecuali kalau anak sekolahan atau seragam kerja.

Gilaaaa...saya sampai ngakak ketika ngetik blog ini.

Nah melebihi drama Jepang dan drama Korea, saya bilang Chinese drama has what it takes to be the most hilarious of all....yang saya maksud di sini tentu saja komedi-drama China modern belum termasuk yang jaman perang dan penjajahan Jepang di China.
Simak opini-opini berikut ini:

Hiduplah satu keluarga besar, kalau yang tertinggal cuma bapak sama anaknya di episode selanjutnya mereka akan bergabung dengan tetangga atau keluarga besar yang lain.
Di mana-mana, setiap episode banyak banget adegan makan terutama makan pagi dan makan malem, satu keluarga, satu meja.
Saya tidak tahu siapa yang mencontek, korea atau china..tapi biasanya ada cewek blo-on anak orang biasa jatuh hati kepada seorang pangeran lokal alias cowok paling guanteng di kampus atau sekolah.
Si pangeran bisa anak orang kaya, biasa atau anak orang kere tapi kuerennya amit-amit, tinggi lebih dari 178 cm, mata sehat, jago olahraga, paling pinter satu sekolahan, rambutnya gondrong kaya F4 dishaggy-shaggy, biasanya pakai celana gombrong dan baju berkerah termasuk hem yang tidak pernah dimasukkan atau sweater dalemnya ada hemnya lagi ughuu.
First kiss biasanya terjadi ketika si cowok ma cewek lagi bertengkar hebat trus tau-tau dicium paksa tapi ceweknya ga nolak...paling-paling abis kecium baru nampar trus lari hehheehe...
Kalau alurnya lagi dramatis biasanya ujan deras turun di malam hari, trus si cowok peluk erat-erat si cewek di tengah hujan seraya mengungkapkan betapa sayangnya dia sama yang cewek....uhuiii romantis juga walaupun selalu mengingatkan saya sama pilem Bollywood.
Kalau adegannya lagi bertanding olahraga atau pukul-pukulan...visual efeknya kaya sinetron tutur tinular di Indo..nah ini yang niru-niru sapa ya.
Ada adegan penjodohan, biasanya si cowok dijodohin sama cewek yang satu kelas sama dia sama orangtuanya. Trus si cowok memanas-manasin si cewek dengan pura-pura mau dengan gadis yang dipilihkan keluarganya.
Suatu hari pasti si cowok dan cewek ditinggal sendirian dalam satu rumah entah orang tua kondangan, ada urusan mendadak, atau pergi ke luar kota...si cewek jadi takut dan deg-deg an karena berduaan untuk pertama kalinya dengan si cowok.
Akhir sebuah episode adalaahhh...tanda tanya besar dan yang jawabannya ada di episode selanjutnyaa yeeeeeeeeee.......asal mula sinetron Tersanjung kali ya yg akhirnya keterusan.
Yang pasti sulit menemukan drama China berdurasi kurang dari 20 episode.

Benar-benar, drama mandarin ini mengingatkan saya kepada sinetron Indonesia. Apa ini karena teralu banyak orang Cina yang hidup di Indonesia?? Alkuturasi kah? Sebetulnya dalam hal ini kita sebagai orang Indonesia harus berbangga melihat perkembangan sinetron di tanah air melebihi pendahulunya, drama mandarin dan mengadaptasi berbagai teknik drama kelas dunia. Lihat saja,

Dalam satu sinetron, episode pasti lebih dari 20 kalau bisa berlanjut sampai 3 turunan dan 7 seasons biar mirip sama serial FRIENDS.
Suatu saat pemeran tokoh utama bermasalah dengan rumah produksi Pujanbi, akhirnya dalam cerita tokoh utama dikabarkan mati (kalau ini masih bisa ditoleransi) atau kecelakan, mukanya rusak trus operasi plastik. Ini lebih hebat daripada operasi face off yang akhir-akhir ini sedang menjadi berita hangat di Indo. Kenapa? karena abis operasi plastik mukanya jadi lebih mirip Adam Jordan ganteng bok.
Akhir episode pasti menggantung kalau bisa tidak usah diselesaikan biar penonton penasaran...Kalaupun banyak cerca dan makian yang diterima rumah produksi, kita juga selalu optimis dan menganggapnya sebagai support untuk memperpanjang cerita.
Jika ceritanya tragis sampai lakon utamanya mati, produser sinetron kita tidak pernah kehabisan akal. Di cerita selanjutnya anda masih akan bertemu dengan si tokoh utama yang menjadi makhluk halus. Anggap saja satu langkah mendekati rating film Ghostnya Demi Moore.
Kalau drama Korea dan Cina, tokoh utama ceweknnya menderita di awal-awal cerita, dalam cerita Indonesia kalau perlu tokoh utama cewek harus menderita selamanya.
Siapa bilang visual efek drama mandarin superior? sinetron Indo jauh lebih maju dengan ilmu tenaga dalam yang bisa mengeluarkan laser warna-warni, menghilang, dan terbang.
Kalau sampai tokoh utama ditinggal sendirian berdua di rumah biasanya bukan takut diapa-apain ama cowoknya tetapi lebih takut lihat makhluk-makhluk dunia lain hihihi.

Sudahlah sepertinya saya sudah semakin gila mungkin ini yang disebut syndrom jam 12. Sekian dulu deh..sampai kapan-kapan lagi.

Belanda kalahhhh....

2006-06-26T15:03:00.000+02:00

First comment: who cares???? hauhauhauhauhauhauhaua...

Sebenarnya mau ngomong gitu keras-keras berhubung saya tinggal di pemukiman student belanda yang kebanyakan pecinta bola. Saya turut berduka cita atas berpulangnya tim Oranje ke negeri Belanda.
Bukan berarti saya membela Portugal lho dan turut berbahagia karena berhasil mengalahkan Belanda dengan 1 nol.
Mau membela apanya??? wong loro karo ga onok bedane..kabeh payah duduk maen bola malah maen kartu piye sih awak-awak iki???
wasite kakehan nyemprit..priit sithok kartu koneng prit rong kali 2 kartu koneng dadi kartu abang.

Sudahlah bukan urusan saya koq...nah who cares toch

Salad and I

2006-06-26T14:16:00.000+02:00

I used to believe that salad is a very prestigous cuisine back in Indonesia. One of the reason was because it only could be found in Pizza Hut (LOL). The salad that I mean here is not those that you eat together with pecel lele, gado-gado, or even with javanese fried chicken, you know lah such as fresh cucumber, kemangi, and "kol."
I came to Holland four years ago and got in touch with the world of salad and salad dressing but still I hardly ate it. Three years afterwards, I started working in the World Trade Center as a trainee and try to behave as a real working woman, including having my lunch in the cafetaria, which the main menu is salad. I tried many times and still, for some reasons, I tend to force myself to eat and admit they're delicious than to enjoy the meal normally.
Another chance, I filled my bowl with various kinds of salads:
-tuna mix salad
-ink fish carrot and cucumber
-tomato salad
-and some other kinds, which looked tasty for me..but the taste was indescribable.

and I ended up eating the sweet corn and eggs only...*sigh
salad oh salad why can't I eat you?

Doki doki suru

2006-06-23T12:50:00.000+02:00

Do you remember the first time you're falling in love? Well I'm kind of reminiscing those moments when watching this Taiwanese version of Itazura na Kiss. It is all about the bitter and sweet of liking someone for long time without any certainty until it ends up with being in a certain kind of relationship. Have you ever got such an experience? I have got it once or maybe twice in my whole lifetime.

Believe it or not, actually it is really exciting when you are in the middle of that period.

Wondering all days about what kind of girls he does like,

Questioning whether he will like me back when he knows I have a crush on him,

Denying ourselves not liking him at all when someone is guessing our feeling

And also some jealously and feelings hurt when he gets closer to certain girls.

Could those be one of the best parts in a love story?

Most of us who have been or are in a relationship might have forgotten the very first chemistry and emotions that occurred in the beginning of a relationship. Even worse, some of us are start thinking there is nothing special anymore between us; and everything becomes so plain, common and that is it. The only reason we stay together is the time and cost we have spent together and they are not inexpensive.

In this case, those moments of liking someone are indeed the best part of being a couple. Ok this part stops at this point because I am not in the mode of talking about the bittersweet to be in a relationship.

Back to the topic. When finally the person that we like show signs he seems like us too, everything is getting more thrilling and we start thinking of what would happen next. I used to have so many imaginations too about what I think he would do and say to me. Just thinking of those made me suddenly laugh and smile with no reasons and people around me considered I was out of my mind. Everyday was daydreaming time. It was silly but exciting.

I feel like watching myself several years ago when watching the drama. To see the main actress's expression while giving a glimpse to and adoring the boy that she likes from distance. The boy actually has never given her any attention and seems ignoring her all the times. When at last, he saved her from a group of gangster, the girl felt her heartbeat beating faster because he finally noticed her existence and he held her hand tightly. After that incident, apparently, everything was back to normal like nothing has ever happened. Until one day, they were arguing each other and the boy couldn't stand anymore and suddenly kissed her to shut her mouth up. (KyaaAAAaaa...I almost screamed loudly)

Later on in the story, the boy finally realized that he had the same feeling towards the girl. Even though, yet he intentionally ignored, played with her heart, and enjoying the cute funny angry disappointed expressions on her face.

Such a simple plot but it gives more intense feeling to me when some scenes resembling my first memories with him :) :) ...Maybe I would say that first time experiences of holding hand, first kiss, feeling jealous, and making up again are some of the most beautiful moments in life.

hohoho I can't wait to go home and continue watching some more episodes....

Again this post has no point after all...gomen (-__-#)

Skirt or Trousers?

2006-06-22T11:40:00.000+02:00

To be a girl was something that I always proud of when I was just six. Girls can wear both skirt and trousers when boys can't. I used to love all kinds of skirts, short one with beautiful laces or the one that looks like a balloon. While wearing it, my little me often felt like dancing and spinning like a ballerina so that the skirts would spread and move around with my body. That was something cannot be done with the pants.

My mom introduced me to a pair of jeans when I was seven. My first trousers with a teddy bear holding a flower decoration on it and I thought they were so cute. I was enchanted by my first encounter with that piece of clothes called jeans. Since then, I hardly wore skirt anymore except my school uniform and tended to avoid buying any of them. My mind began assuming that trousers were simply better, safer, and looked cooler, without mentioning that I had had some bad experiences of wearing skirt.

One day I had to wear a gown in my cousin's wedding and I ended up stepping on my gown and I fell ridiculously in the reception because it was hard to make a big step with long gown. The other day, I went to a mall wearing a jeans skirt together with my dorm's friends. First impression, the skirt was looked good on me. When I was walking, my friends suddenly realized that something went wrong and finally couldn't stand anymore to laugh at me because the way I walked. It was simply looked like a gangster than a normal girl....Obviously, it was something that they couldn't see clearly when I was wearing my long pants. Perhaps, that was the result of Tae Kwon Do activity that I was following in my 3 years study in high school.
Starting from that moment onward, I start believing that skirts don't suit with me after all.

It is not like I don't want or I hate wearing skirt at all. Honestly, when I see my girl-friends wearing it, I do envy them a lot. They are looked nice and pretty in it with a pair of boots or high-heels shoes.
I wish someday I could wear it again and hear comments that it fits me better than a pair of jeans. Before that happens, please teach me how to walk well and straightly :) (watashi no wagamama onegai dake yo... :p )

WK WC PD

2006-06-20T10:53:00.000+02:00

Werld Kampioen disingkat WK; World Cup disingkat WC; yang satunya pasti tahulah..apa coba?? Percaya Diri? Perang Dunia? Paman Donald?

Musim apakah sekarang? Kalau ditanya seperti ini selama bulan Juni dan Juli 2006, mungkin banyak orang akan mempunyai lebih dari satu jawaban tentang musim yang sedang terjadi di sekitarnya.

Para pengamat cuaca akan berkata kalau sekarang sedang musim panas.
Ibu-ibu rumah tangga juga berkomentar sekarang sedang musim durian dan rambutan. Anak-anak sekolah bilang setelah musim ujian datanglah musim liburan.
Tentu saja bapak-bapak, mas, abang, engkoh, om-om, dan para pecinta bola sepak tidak mau kalah dan serempak menjawab sekarang ini musimnya Piala Dunia...Hup...Hup...Holla...Horaa

Musim PD musim WC atau WK...apapun itu selalu menjadi momentum yang selalu dinantikan setiap empat tahun sekali oleh seluruh penduduk dunia terutama oleh para kaum adam yang terlahir untuk menjadi lifetime fans olahraga bola sepak.

Buat para kaum hawa yang rata-rata tidak suka bola bisa jadi dalam dua bulan ini terserang penyakit musiman karena posisinya sedang tergeser oleh sebuah benda bulat yang disebut bola.

Saya bukan penggemar bola hanya seorang penggembira. Anehnya untuk event piala dunia tanpa sadar saya telah mengikuti perkembangannya sejak tahun 1998 ketika karakter ayam biru merah menjadi maskot resmi piala dunia di Perancis (yang kemudian menjadi motif resmi kaos Dagadu Jogja). Di tahun 2002, saya menonton Piala Dunia karena acaranya berlangsung di Jepang dan Korea jadi mau tidak mau sepulang ujian EBTANAS mata langsung terpaku pada nama negara dan jumlah gol yang sudah tercipta. Tim andalan saya waktu itu adalah Jerman dengan Klose dan Oliver Kahn nya.

Siapa sangka empat tahun sesudah itu, saya kini berada di negara tetangga dan participant tempat berlangsungnya event bola paling akbar itu. Komentar pertama, Piala Dunia tahun ini maskotnya apa sih? (yeeeee.......). Maybe I'm just not into it :p
Tim andalan tahun ini?....hummm Togo kali gara-gara terpengaruh pilem pendeknya Mtv. Kalau tim yang beneran??....Masih Jerman dan South Korea harus bangga dong jadi orang Asia meskipun negara sendiri tidak pernah ikut Piala Dunia.

Belum ada yang teralu special tahun ini kecuali saya menonton bola bersama teman-teman cowok yang semuanya bola mania (karena biasanya saya nonton sendirian). Hitung-hitung tambah pengetahuan lah, dari sekedar melihat sekor, sekarang saya mengerti apa yang dimaksud off side haha..(dasar..sepertinya sampai sekarangpun saya tetap buta bola).

Love is a battlefield so is life..

2006-06-14T20:44:00.000+02:00

Duh..judulnya rek. Kalau dipikir-pikir lagi judul di atas itu kebalik ya ga sih? Menurut saya cinta itu perlu perjuangan karena cinta adalah bagian dari kehidupan. Anyway, postingan ini tidak teralu berhubungan dengan judulnya...(lho gimana sih?). Ya biarlah karena ini blog saya, mau buat judul apa saja kan terserah yang mengarang.

Ceritanya perjuangan saya selama empat tahun di kelas IBMS sudah mau berakhir tinggal menunggu presentasi terakhir di akhir minggu ini. Puaskah? tentu saja...Kenapa ya? padahal nilai saya biasa-biasa saja...kalau saya pikir-pikir lagi mungkin karena hasil yang saya dapatkan bukan karena keberuntungan belaka. Ada pengorbanan dan usaha yang telah saya keluarkan untuk mencapai semua ini. Jadi persoallannya di sini bukan karena tingginya nilai yang diperoleh tetapi lebih kepada keberhasilan menyelesaikan semuanya tepat pada waktunya.

Kalau membaca postingan saya beberapa bulan yang lalu, masih terbayang dengan jelas di ingatan ini tentang seorang murid yang merana dan sedang putus asa karena belum memperoleh satu point pun dari 60 point yang harus dikumpulkan ketika deadline tinggal 10 minggu lagi. Terlebih ketika godaan untuk molor datang menggoda...saya mati-matian berusaha supaya tidak lulus juli ini sehingga bisa memperoleh ijin tinggal untuk setahun lagi. Bodoh ya?? Ember deh..emang koq.

Kalau orang bilang manusia memikirkan jalannya Tuhan yang menentukan, yakinilah itu adalah fakta. Rencana-Nya selalu baik dan masuk akal tanpa perlu pakai berbagai akal dan tipu muslihat seperti yang saya pikirkan. Dia sungguh buka jalan buat saya. Meskipun tugas saya sudah selesai plus kalau yang terakhir ini berjalan dengan baik maka dapat dipastikan 98% saya akan lulus bulan depan dan tetap bisa tinggal di Belanda satu tahun lagi tanpa pake tetek bengek. Lalu kemana 2% nya?
1% persetujuan orangtua dan 1% lagi kalau ini memang kehendak Tuhan. Amiiinnn....amiinnn.

Perjuangan baru saja dimulai..yaitu meyakinkan ortu dulu kalau anaknya belum siap kerja sesudah kuliah hahahhaa....Sekian dulu.

Finally...

2006-06-13T22:44:00.000+02:00

Finally...I made it so far, my burden has gone, all left is only the presentation for International Business Plan...you see, far from impossible doesn't mean impossible *smiling
I thank GOD, He makes everything possible...

The question now...am I ready to graduate?
Trully..I'm not ready, I tell myself many times that I still want to learn more as a student..to prepare my future and what I'd like to pursue when I'm joining the real world. The world of independence when I will be "a person" or "an adult" who is able to say proudly to my parents that I am now ready to make my life.

Moreover, I'm not ready yet to be apart from him... :) well you know what I mean.
I don't know...if I really have to finish all of this and go back to my country, shall I let him go perhaps? or would I be ready to be in very long distance relationship?

Dear...I am lost and confused..I wish I could read your mind to see what your heart's desire is..
I know that long distance is hardly worked and I don't want to keep ourselves dreaming of the future that we never know when it would be happening....Uuhh what a thought.

Well forgetting those silly thoughts, my next study plan has nothing to do with my feeling because this is only my selfish wish :p I just hope that everything is working as I have planned and, of course, it has to be in HIS will too.

Can you say the magic words?

2006-06-06T09:23:00.000+02:00

"I Love YOU".....*PLAK (slapping voice). Andy got slapped and rejected again by the girl who he met two days ago. Again? Yes, about a month ago, he was just rejected by a promotion girl who he thought having a crush on him because she was smiling gently when offering Andy a free sample of new mineral water product. In fact, I think her occupation was to give a big big smile to everyone while promoting the new product.

When Andy said "I Love You"
The first girl said, "who are you?"
The second one who slapped him just went away after yelling angrily, "are you out of your mind?!!"

"What's wrong with me?" Andy couldn't understands why he never gets the attention of the girl that he loves or at least the one that he has a crush on. According to Andy self, he never lies with the words that he said to the girl. Friends of Andy also admit that if you are looking for an honest man in the world, Andy is one of the most honest ones. Thus, when he says "I luv ya" he means he really likes the person.

It is indeed true when someone said, when you say it, mean it. But a miracle would hardly happen with only words....I think it is similar with faith without deeds is no use. So if you think you love her/him...do something to show that you really mean it.

Andy really did something, he bravely said the three words of love face to face with the girl. So the problem here is the girl not Andy right? Is the girl at fault because she doesn't like Andy?
Wrong!!....the answer is that the girl does not know Andy.
"Who are you? I barely know you and you say you love me...I cannot love back a stranger like you."

In less than a week what can you know about someone new? I myself can hardly remember the name of the person that I just meet once. Perhaps after two or three times I meet him then I'll remember his name and his occupation. If I really like him, I will need at least a month to get to know him...from which city does he come from, what does he like and dislike, what is his mobile number, how about his family and his close friends, and obviously, how can I attract his attention ;)

Before saying "I love you" does someone really need to have a good preparation? OR at least be more careful just to make all things work as expected? Well..honestly speaking, I don't know either...Strange isn't it? I do have someone special..but until today, I still can count with my fingers those moments when I said I love him... :) Isn't it just too precious to say?

Having got some experiences, Andy is now carefully not to say the three words easily. Rejection is an instant heartbreaker with no relationship involved. Anyway, experiences are always the best teacher.
Finally one day, Andy was introduced to a girl named Amy at his friend's wedding party. He, as usual , was accidentally in love at the first sight with the girl. Remembering his bad experiences, Andy held back his feeling and tried his best to be jus a friend.

A month has passed since then, Andy and the girl were now good friend. They worked in the same building but in different floor and different companies. Therefore, after the working hours finish Andy often ran to Amy's office to pick her up and go back home in the same subway. Unfortunately, Andy frequently missed the chance as he had to work overtime. In that month, he only managed two times picking up Amy from work.
A week ago was Amy's birthday and Andy did send her a card with a slice of strawberry on the short cake as the b-day's present. Andy thought Amy liked strawberry because she has a wallet with strawberry motive, and she did like Andy's present very much. I think that's why they become a good friend.

Andy's feeling for Amy still existed and it was growing stronger everyday, stronger than the feeling he had before on the promotion girl and the stranger girl, two girls that he was even unable to recall their names. Of course it was different for everything that he has done for Amy and for the time that they have spent together. The question now, can Andy say the magic words?

One starry evening, Andy walked Amy to her home. When finally they arrived in front of Amy's apartment, Amy held Andy's hand to say her gratitude. She was about to take her hand when in sudden Andy held her hand more tightly and finally utters, "I love you Amy..would you be my girl?"
Amy looked surprised and Andy was worriying while his heart's beating was speeding up. Both become silent for a couple minutes.

Amy put her other hand on Andy's hand gently. "Thank you for loving me that's really sweet of you," she said with a lovely smile. Some tears were running through her cheeks while staring at Andy's eyes and saying she was so sorry that she was not ready yet to be in a relationship. "Let's stay as a friend.." She insisted and Andy understood.
For the last time, Andy hugged Amy before letting her go inside her house and then they said goodbye.

Andy was heart-broken. Soon after he left Amy's house, he unwillingly cried in the dark. It was damn hurt although Amy didn't slap or nag him like the other girls. At least now he learnt that his feeling for Amy was undeniably true..and the previous ones were, perhaps, only his manly longing for having a girlfriend.
May I say that Andy now has seen the miracle of three words of love?...because he said it honestly from his deepest heart and moreover for all efforts he has done for her.
Well, Andy might have failed to get a lover, yet his good girl-friend stays.

Anyway it's just my short story. If I were Andy...I don't know how to be Amy's ordinary friend again after what has happened between us...that's why this is just a story :)

Saya tidak suka....titik-titik.....

2006-06-02T14:33:00.000+02:00

makanan? basi
minuman? bir..segala macam bir mulai dari yang manis sampe yang pahit
rasa? humm..pahit
buah? sawo
sayuran? gambas, paprika
permen? yang rasa salmiak..yaiks!! drop is better
jamur? panu.., roti jamuran
jamu? jamu galian singset...
obat? pahit
olahraga? tinju
movie? drama yang lakonnya matek...
music? rock
baju? rok
warna? hijau lumut
lagu? keroncong dan sinden
cuaca? dingin dan berangin
serangga? semut dan kelabang
peliharaan? ikan
binatang? cicak
pelajaran? sejarah nasional Indonesia

Ternyata menyebutkan sesuatu yang tidak disukai lebih sulit daripada menyebutkan hal-hal favorit makanya saya juga tidak suka menulis hal ini terlau berkepanjangan. Sekian dulu dan terima kasih.

Lately

2006-05-31T17:12:00.000+02:00

My bank pas is blocked because ABN Amro bank claimed that someone tried to copy my pin number.
They told me that they have ordered me a new card or two new cards and I should have received in in five days, it's been 2 weeks but none of the card reaches me until today.
I've got pissed off because of the teller told me to keep waiting until this week and if I needed some money, he asked me to go to Schiphol airport...what the **** there's no solution!!!
I couldn't pay with a card, could not buy a train ticket in the machine, and the worst thing I cannot print my dissertation as everything is using chipknip....I was so depressed and forced my bf to lend me his card.
Finally, I went to another branch of the bank, he comforted me by changing my address temporarily and ordering me a new card.....I'm waiting...

My bad, I was too hurry handing my dissertation in and some parts are still missing..too late
My bad time, I went to a his house to return the card but no one was there, I was waiting 15 minutes imagining someone would open the door for me and then we would eat the warm subway bread together. I called around but could reach no one and finally decided going back home by metro.
He called me that he was on the way back home..and hurrily I took another metro to his house. Unfortunately, I came 10 minutes earlier. No one was there...my hands were almost frozen while bringing a plastic bag with a "not-warm anymore" sub way bread. My bad..I shouldn't have returned that quick.
I couldn't stand with the cold, I haven't eaten enough since that morning, my stomach was singing happilly. Finally, I warmed up myself in the indoor stairs eating a leftover kit kat that I found in my bag.
When..he was finally back, I just felt like to cry for no reason.

Hidup ala sandal jepit

2006-05-22T21:07:00.000+02:00

Kalau sandal jepit saja hanya punya satu pasangan apakah manusia kaya kita juga cuma punya satu belahan jiwa?
Jawabannya iya dan tidak ..tergantung siapa yang njawab ya ga? :p :p

Untung saja kita bukan sandal jepit, kalau putus ma satu pacar masih banyak ikan di laut alias bisa cari lagi, kalau cerai bisa kawin lagi, bahkan kalau istri satu saja kurang boleh cari lagi. Maksud saya menyinggung fenomena sandal jepit tidak sepenuhnya berhubungan dengal hal-hal tersebut.

Suatu saat nanti kalau kita diijinkan untuk berpacaran atau menikah, pilihlah seseorang yang berlawanan jenis kelamin bukan sesama cewek atau sesama cowok karena sandal jepit juga ga bisa dipakai kiri semua atau kanan semua. Ada baiknya belajar dari sandal jepit, ketika kita membuat komitmen untuk menjalin hubungan, sungguh-sungguhlah. Anggaplah pasangan kita seperti sandal jepit..eh maaf maksud saya bagian dari diri anda.
Untuk mempertahankannya dan menikmati saat-saat bersamannya karena tanpa dirinya ada sesuatu yang hilang dan tidak lengkap.

Kalau sampai bertengkarpun cepatlah cari jalan keluar bukan cari sephia atau cowok lain. Pertengkaran itu tidak selamanya jelek, ada juga baiknya bertengkar untuk lebih mengenal satu dengan yang lain.
Kalau sampai akhirnya harus berpisah, saya TIDAK bilang TIDAK boleh cari yang lain lho. Hanya saja kalau segera mencari pengganti apakah bedanya dengan membuang baju lama dan membeli yang baru.

Relationship bukanlah pekerjaan, tetapi apa salahnya kalau dianggap seperti diterima kerja di perusahaan impian? Seperti sandal jepit baru dibeli tampak keren tapi ga enak di kaki dan bikin lecet, kerjaan baru juga enak gajinya tapi berapa banyak yang harus dipelajari. Semua relationship tampak manis pada awalnya tetapi tidak kalah banyaknya persoalan yang harus dihadapi.
Masalahnya sekarang masihkah aku dan kamu tetap mencoba? meskipun begitu banyak air mata, kekecewaan, dan pertengkaran yang terjadi?

Kalau suatu saat anda benar-benar tidak bisa kehilangan dia lagi dan sepertinya sanggup hidup bersama orang itu sampai 50 tahun mendatang termasuk menerima dirinya yang makin gendut dan bertambah keriput, barulah berpikir untuk menjadi sepasang sandal jepit yang siap dijual di pasar....(yeeeee...emang postingan ini ga ada maksudnya hahahhaha)

Cerita Sepasang Sandal Jepit

2006-05-22T19:25:00.000+02:00

Pada suatu hari di desa "Swallow" diakan acara kawin massal (baca: nikah bareng-bareng). Dengan pak pembuat sandal sebagai penghulunya, bersama-sama setiap pasang sandal yang hadir mengucapkan janji.
"Kami dengan ini akan setia kepada majikan kami seperti kami setia kepada pasangan kami. Baik dalam keadaan dipakai atau tidak dipakai, baik dalam keadaan baik ataupun kotor sampai maut memisahkan." (cieee ada juga janji kaya gini hehe..).

Seusai mengucap janji bersama, masing-masing pasang sandal dipersilahkan masuk ke kamarnya yang berupa sebuah kantong plastik dan diminta menutup pintu dengan segel "Swallow."

Tak lama kemudian, sepasang sandal jepit merah dibeli oleh seorang gadis bernama Lea. Tentu saja sandal kiri dan sandal kanan sangat bahagia karena mulai saat itu mereka memiliki kerjaan tetap di rumah Lea. Apalagi yang lebih membahagiakan bagi sepasang sandal baru selain dibeli dan menjadi berguna bagi orang lain terlebih ketika keduanya selalu bekerja bersama.

Hari-hari pertama sepasang sandal merah di rumah Lea bukanlah hal yang mudah. Lea sering berkomentar kalau keduanya masih teralu kaku dan hanya mempekerjakan mereka sebentar-bentar dan lebih memilih memakai sandal jepit biru buntutnya yang alasnya sudah aus. Seringkali, sandal jepit merah ditinggal begitu saja di ambang pintu. Namun sandal kiri dan sandal kanan tidak pernah menyerah mereka tetap menjalankan tugasnya dengan setia tidak hanya ketika Lea memakainya melainkan juga siapa saja yang menemukan dan memakai mereka di tengah teriknya matahari ketika menjemur pakaian atau siraman air sabun saat mama mencuci baju. Mereka berharap suatu saat nanti Lea menyadari betapa berguna dan profesionallnya mereka seperti pendahulunya sandal jepit biru.

Dengan berjalannya waktu, sandal jepit biru akhirnya dipensiunkan karena sudah tidak mampu lagi menemani Lea berjalan jauh. Sebagai imbalannya, kini mereka beristirahat dengan tenang di gudang dan menunggu waktunya. Melihat perjalanan karir sandal jepit biru, sandal jepit merahpun berharap mereka akan terus bersama dan melayani majikannya sampai tua dan menjadi sandal buntut.

Sejak sandal jepit biru pensiun, sandal jepit merah sekarang menjadi kesayangan Lea. Perjuangan mereka tidak sia-sia. Hampir kemanapun Lea pergi ketika dia tidak sekolah, dia selalu memilih mereka sebagai alas kaki. Keliling rumah, ke pasar, ketika bermain bersama tetangganya, berkunjung ke rumah kakek-nenek, bahkan saat tamasya di pantai, sandal jepit merah tidak pernah ketinggalan.

Saat hari telah berakhir mereka ditaruh manis bersama sepatu dan sandal yang lain di rak sepatu. Di lihat dari model dan harga, mungkin sandal jepit merah tampak paling sederhana dan murahan. Namun sandal jepit kanan tidak merasa minder karena sandal jepit kiri selalu ada di sampingnya. Keduanya tidak menginginkan berganti pasangan atau menyeleweng :p bagi mereka cukuplah berbahagia dengan pasangan yang diberikan bapak pembuat sandal.

Ada kalanya merekapun bertengkar. Suatu kali ketika Lea mau mengambil mangga di kebun belakang yang juga tempat memelihara ayam-ayam papanya Lea. Tiba-tiba tanpa sengaja sandal jepit kiri menginjak tahi ayam dan sandal jepit merah menertawakannya karena sandal jepit kini jadi kotor dan bau bacin. Sandal jepit kiripun ngambek dan mogok kerja dengan menubrukan dirinya ke sebuah batu. Melihat perbuatan sandal kiri, sandal kanan berusaha menahan Lea supaya tidak jatuh namun tidak kuat dan akhirnya tali sandal jepit kanan putus dan Leapun jatuh tersungkur. Lea kembali ke rumah dengan satu sandal sambil membawa sandal kanan yang tak berdaya karena telah putus talinya.

Lea menyadari sandal kirinya menginjak kotoran lalu setelah meletakan sandal kanan di emperan rumah, dia mencuci sandal kiri. Sandal jepit kiri menyesali perbuatannya, ditengah guyuran air kraan diapun menangis melihat pasangannya yang tergeletak tak berdaya. Lea meletakan sandal kiri tepat di sebelah sandal kanan yang telah putus lalu meninggalkan mereka. Apakah gunanya sebuah sandal tanpa pasangannya? Pasangan sandal jepit kiri cuma sandal jepit kanan seorang. Kini setelah pasangannya putus, sandal jepit kiri tinggal menunggu kapan Lea akan membuangnya.

Di luar dugaan Lea kembali sambil membawa lem kuat dan menyambung kembali sandal jepit kanan. Namun tentu saja supaya lem itu bekerja Lea harus membiarkannya selama satu hari. Sejak hari itu sepasang sandal jepit merah berbaikan dan kembali menjalankan tugasnya sebagai alas kaki. Meskipun tidak sekuat dulu lagi namun selama mereka bersama dan tidak putus, mereka akan selalu berguna di rumah Lea. :) :) Yang rukun ya sandal jepitku sayang hehehehe.......

--THE END--

Higurashi no Naku koro ni

2006-05-17T10:45:00.000+02:00

What if the cutest girl in your class has ever transferred from another school as she had an extreme disorder behavior? Would you still believe her that now she is a different person?

She used to be the girl who greeted you and accompanied you to go to school every morning. She used to be the sweetest girl that you have ever had a crush on. Would you still tolerate and try understanding her?

How about if your pretty boyish aggresive upper-class girl at your school has a double personality, one is very enchanting and the other is threatening you? Is this a part of her jealously as she seems like you too much, or is it just your stupidity because you cannot distinguished between her twin sister and her?

Or does she really want to execute you if you reveal the horrible thing that she did in the past? Which ones will you believe?

Why are you afraid that much when all your close female friends are considered close-related with the annual murders happened in your village in the night of Watanagashi festival just because a stranger, who claimed himself as a police, told you so?

You feel like not only the girls but also everyone now is chasing your life. Is this really happening? Is this a punishment from Oyashiro-sama's spirit? Or...

ArEn't yOu JuSt PaRaNoiD?

Feel the comedy and laughter when at the same time your bone is trembling..when you see blood everywhere, psycho behaviors.., and teribble deaths

and your heart is beating faster as someone is there spying, threatening, when you are alone at home in the storm raining night.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni (When the cicadas-such a summer cockroach species cry) is NOT coming soon anymore as its torrent files are available. Now the 4 beginning chapter has finished and 2 episodes of the second chapter have been realeashed at the time I'm writing this post.

Suwe-suwe aku koq kaya dodolan yo?? kaya ngiklan pilem mung ga jelas juntrunganne...ya gawe sing tertarik monggo mas, monggo mbak..didonlot animene oce?? sekian dulu dan terima kasih.

NANA

2006-05-16T13:02:00.000+02:00

As I mentioned before in the previous post about the Suzumiya Haruhi and Higurashi, in fact, there are more animes that start following the prior of this trend.

Guess what? if you say one of them is NANA, you are absolutely rockin!! Yes, this is a drama anime about two girls who accidentally met in the same train on the way to Tokyo, both of them are in their 20, and coincidentally also named Nana, Oosaki Nana and Komachi Nana (later on Komachi Nana is called Hachi a.k.a. eight "8"; nana is 7 in Japanese besides the other name "shichi"). After parting in the train station, two days later they met again in the same no-owner apartment, each Nana was with their own housing agent. At last, both Nana lived together in the apartment with room number 707 (again double 7 or double Nana).
This is how the first episode reaches its end.

I was expecting to watch what happened next with two Nana, but episode 2 views the past of Komachi Nana and her love story before meeting the present boyfriend, Shouji. Fortunately, unlike Suzumiya Haruhi anime that always goes on with whatever episode up to the producer's preference, this story of Komachi Nana keeps continuing until episode 4 and then story shifts to the previous life of Oosaki Nana.
Now the anime has reached the sixth episode, back to the present time but before Nana and Nana live in room 707. Hummm...can I say this is one of Haruhiism?? LOL

Anyway, before the anime is launched, I watched NANA the movie first. Therefore, I can say it's not that complicated to follow...only now I'm wishing Shouji would not cheat on Hachi..(oups spoiler!!) hahaha...

Where is the beginning, climax, and end?

2006-05-12T14:02:00.000+02:00

Most of the movies and anime are usually arranged and broadcasted in chronological order. From the beginning, the climax, and the anticlimax, then it is closed with the final episode or the ending.

Unfortunately some recent animes that I'm watching now are trying to play with the viewer's curiousity by randomly broadcasting the episodes.

In one anime, you will find that it's started in the middle (or maybe the end, you never know) and then followed by the first episode (beginning chapter). Until this point, you might have thought that the plot is "flasback", a kind of plots that used to be in a detective or mystery story. In fact, in the next episode you will find that the episode jumps to some other stories, which should be the future of the story and no-relation at all with the first episode.

Middle (episode??)--> back to the beginning (episode 1)--> progress (episode 2,3)--> jump to 2 episodes afterwards (episode 5)--> back to the missing episodes (I forget)--> jump to another 8 episodes in the future (episode 9)--> pullback to one episode ahead (episode 8)--> next??

In other anime, you will know the ending first and then it start whole over again from the very first time until the day when you see the prelude scene. Yet, it is not the final episode. Some missing scenes will be presented afterwards. Obviously, those scenes are also flashback, far before the final event takes place. With other words I can scheme it as follows:

Ending--->beginning-->middle-->reach the ending again-->middle/missing scenes-->close to ending-->same ending with a solution (quite complicated)

As you might have guessed the first anime is

Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu

and the second one is Higurashi no Naku Koro ni....I'm just wishing that I can follow those anime till end before I leave this country *sigh

Naze da?

2006-05-04T10:37:00.000+02:00

Kenapa orang pms bawaannya pengen marah terus, pengen sedih terus, pengen nangis terus..

Sebentar-bentar seneng, sebentar-bentar diem, sebentar lagi jam maem..
Abis maem ini kepingin maem itu, katanya kalau lg periodnya gini makan banyak-banyak gpp terutama coklat sangat disarankan supaya tubuh tetap fit dan untuk menolak penyakit bulanan...(bikin teori sendiri kali yak? eh tapi beneran pernah baca koq).

Yeee...tapi begini-begini saya tidak pernah sakit bulanan a.k.a. perut mules sambil guling-guling..kecuali penyakit males dan lemes (iya lemes kalau ga sedang punya macem-macem bawaan yang disebutkan di atas). Saya bersyukur koq atas karunia ini..meskipun seringkali teman-teman setanah air dan seperjuangan di Sweden mengira saya tidak pernah datang bulan (ciee istilahnya mbak)...yeee siapa gini-gini masih cewek normal koq.......

Udahlah...saya cuma mau minta maaf kalau banyak yang tersinggung selama minggu-minggu sensitive ini....moga-moga keadaan akan kembali normal setelah period saya selesai apalagi sekarang udah mo summer cuaca bagus gini koq harus dinikmatin ya ga. Tulisan ini akhirnya berakhir di sini karena makin lama sepertinya semakin tidak nyambung.

Owari おわり

Akhir-akhir ini a.k.a. lately

2006-05-04T09:53:00.000+02:00

Akhir-akhir ini saya sering makan:

Mie lurus instant ama bakso ikan dan bakso sapi biasanya buat dinner.
Snack want-want alias snack beras yang manis ato yang sama soya dan sushi nori.
A cup of soup dan croissant dari bos buat lunch karena sedang berhemat dan malas ke kantin bawah.
Pagi hari maem bakpao 35 cent euro yang bisa dimatangkan di microwave, tapi kalau bakpaonya abis ya..
Sebagai ganti maem joden koken dan minum susu bendera.
Buah masih suka dengan jeruk mandarin jeruk kecil-kecil yang ga ada bijinya bisa dimaem sekali emplok.
Shortcake, kek coklat, kek buah hutan (bosvruchten tu lho), dan kek kopi dari bos kantor sebelah yang baru merayakan ultah dan kolega yang baru pindah rumah. Enak bikin kepingin beli kek terus..tapi berat juga ga kalah kepingin naek terus.
Es krim Pisa a.k.a. Pisa Ijs yang rasa lemon, tiramisu, after eight a.k.a. mint, crazytella? itu lho yang banya serpihan coklatnya, stroberi....makannya bersama anak-anak cowok yang sedang suka ngidam es hari sabtu abis makan malam di rumah harbud dan anton ato hari minggu kalau lagi nganggur tahu-tahu teringat es krim. Jadi siapa yang bilang cewek lebih suka es krim daripada cowok?
Makanan yang tidak mengandung jamur kecuali jamur shitake/yoko, kuping, ato jamur payung asal bukan jamur yang lebar-lebar dan mahal (used to be my favorite*sigh). I just got a bad experience with the nasty smell of expired mushroom that surely make you feel like to vomit...

Akhir-akhir ini minumannya Lea:

Air putih yang dingin seger...jangan setengah anget..kepanasan juga nggak enak. Inget dalam 1 hari disarankan minum 2 liter air atau 8 gelas air untuk menjaga kesegaran tubuh dan tentu saja supaya tidak cepat gemuk.
Teh jepang yang rasanya pahit beraroma rumput laut jepang tapi lama-lama enak juga koq bisa bikin relax dan tetap terjaga selama kerja...meskipun bagi yang ga biasa dan yang ga suka sering bilang kalau rasanya teralu pahit dan ga enak (I'm used to it now).
Teh Cina, enak, gratis, dan bisa nambah sepuasnya, minuman nomer satu kalau ke new king restaurant.
Teh Cherry dari Jerman yang dikirim Carsta, teh rasa cherry dengan hibiscus, warnanya merah ga coklat kaya teh, rasanya kecut manis bikin tambah semangat buat TA..sedang dieman-eman nih biar ga cepet abis.
Kopi (minuman orang ngantor yang kerjannya kebanyakan duduk di depan kompie sambil terkantuk-kantuk) biasanya minum kopi yang hitam tanpa gula ato ditambah susu dan 1 sendok gula, dengan begini baru namanya minum kopi dengan rasa yang sesungguhnya ya ga? Biasanya saya suka minum kopi instant yang banyak gulanya biar ga pahit. (I think I'm becoming a candidate for coffee addict)
Apron Soja milk alias susu kedelai dengan berbagai rasa, paling suka rasa vanila disusul dengan yang rasa pisang asal bukan yang rasa coklat..rasa lain saya tidak bisa komentar karena tidak pernah mencoba. Menurut penelitian susu kedelai ini baek buat kekuatan tulang dan menjaga kadar kolesterol dalam tubuh..syukur-syukur lagi katanya ga cepet bikin gemuk. Ga heran harganya lebih mahal dari susu sapi...pilih sehat ato pilih murah? Kalau ada dana kenapa tidak ya ga?

It's not easy but it's worth to try

2006-04-07T22:33:00.000+02:00

Well, time has gone really fast. Four years ago, I just came to Holland and learn how to speak not a perfect one but just say an understanable English. Now, finally, this might be the final year..yes at least that what they (the school) said to me that I am following a 4 years program of IBMS ( I am too lazy to write what IBMS stands for...if you are reading this, just make sure you will never think that IBMS is something that relates to a well-known computer brand).

It seems to be too far from possible when I aware of having less than a half year to collect a complete points of 60 ECTS (this is the European Credit Transfer System) in order to graduate this summer. Do you know why is kind of hard? because until now I have not collected even a single point and it is already April. 30 points from my placement, another 10 from a group project called a Business Plan, and the last 20 points from a dissertation.

The good news after all is that I do not give up yet!!.........Far from possible does not mean impossible. I know it is going to be tough....I still remembered those days when I had to finish a bachelor thesis for Sweden in 10 weeks. My other 5 Indonesian friends and I were working hard day and night in front of our notebooks with two or three pile of school books and papers were around, less sleeps and eating just for gaining more energy to be up for more than 18 hours a day. Luckily the class was over, no need to go to school anymore except to borrow and return the books....

Forgetting those things, I think this one is going to be scarier. Those three final assignments should be finished while I am still doing my placement ( you know 5 days in a week, 8 hours per day). One thing that I thankful is that I am still hoping to graduate........... GOD says never lose hope because the future is really there waiting (Proverb 23:18)
This is what gives me a power to move on and keeps trying...there is a chance; Even it is only 0.1%, it's not zero yet...toch?

The matter is not only "finishing all the assignments" but for me to be able to stay longer in this country by postponing my graduation is also TEMPTING!!
"Should I finish now and make my parents happy?" OR "should I stay longer? it only costs 1500 euros and it is only the matter of time and I can work longer and earn more..."

Still no decision yet...but I am trying my best...it's not easy but really worth to try........
unless I will regret it...for giving up so easily. It is similar with a soldier who runs-away in the middle of the war before it comes to end.........yeahhh a loser. Definitely not willing to be come one.
I come I see I.......well do not know yet
END

Who said that I am fat?

2006-03-30T12:26:00.000+02:00

I am not fat...just a little bit more than other, trust me. When you say so...sometimes it does make me think that I really have gained some more weights.

Born as a skinny dark-skin hairy baby girl. My mom told me that I had a hairy back..when I was born 22 years ago..but it was just for a day..then it all fell down (pyuuh thanks God).

Then, from a baby to a hyperactive toddler who disliked to eat and liked to play a lot. My mom always gave me two times in a week..a bitter traditional Indonesian jamu for increasing my appetite but it just did not work as expected except for the snacks that I liked. Compared to my brother who was born 2 and a half years later, he was so white, round, rather short, hairless, chubby, and a cry baby who liked eating a lot.

I grew up as a skinny very tall girl...I was the tallest during my six years in Elementary school until Junior high school. When we had the monday's ceremony, I was always in the latest place in line. I hate to be in the back because I never cleary saw what was happening in front and the teachers were always standing by at the back for disciplining the students.

Still at that time I hate to eat rice. If it was possible, then I would like to eat just the dishes without the rice. I always tried to reduce my eating portion when my mom didn't notice. During that puberty time, when I ate more, it just made me grow more vertically than horizontally. In my 13th birthday, I was already a bit taller than my mom. None of my male classmates' heights were match to me. People around me often thought that I was older than my age.

My mom's friend who is running a barber and modelling business was ever offering me to be a model because of my height and weight. Unfortunatelyy, I was just not interested and preferred wearing the boy's clothes instead of those girly stuff. That moment, I thought being undercover as a boy was cool and fun...while I was having a flat chest and tall figure. My brother was still 10-15 cm shorter than I was. I think that what made me think that I could be cooler than him (LOL). When remembering this, I feel so silly and weird.

Well time passed by and people changed so did I. In high school, my growth has come to time to stop gradually when I started realizing that people need food to live and eating is fun. I stopped growing at the height of 167 cm (not too short either) and then started to grow vertically. When I stopped growing, my brother and sister were in their fast growing period. Now I am the second shortest after my mom.

Perhaps it is true if we hear that people who were born skinny would be fatter when they grow up and the other way around. My brother now is much taller and slender while I am accumulating more fat and unable to grow anymore. I really should work out in this cold country.....*sigh.

watashi no tanjoubi...

2006-03-28T16:16:00.000+02:00

This year I got unforgetable birthday...well what can I tell you. It was very very special but don't imagine it was full of surprises, joy, party, and sorts of those things. In contrast, this year's b-day was pretty quiet,
everyone was busy, and
the metro was under construction during the weekend that I could go nowhere after 20.00.

I left my mobile at home and went to a friend's house to stay a night. Therefore I called my family at 00:01 in Holland or 6 o'clock in Indonesia just in case they had called my mobile. My parents were in a rush to go to church when I called them and sadly, my mom almost...almost..forgot that that day was my b-day. For a moment, it made me a little bit sad.

0:20 My friends were busy with their game, when they knew I was having my first 20 minutes birthday, they shouted and kept playing...I know it shouldn't bother me too much since I am used to this kind of situation every weekend. But, suddenly my tears flew through my cheeks and just couldn't stop it. Perhaps I was just expecting too much.. :) sometimes I just hate to be this weak. I could say nothing to my boyfriend except thanking him for lending me his shoulder to cry for a while.

I know I was not supposed to behave like that..a birthday is something that you should be proud of and thankful since we are still alive until today. Speaking of that, actually it is not something that should be proud of by other people before yourself, isn't it?
Then I questioned myself, have I been thankful enough for having a birthday even my friends are nowhere around?

Well, it was just that night..the next day I really enjoyed my day although I had to get up 1 hour earlier due to the time had changed from winter to summer time 1 hour ahead. The spring is here, and right on my birthday the weather became warm and warmer. Thanks God for making my day and thanks to all friends, I got bunch of emails, e-card, sms, a little bottle of wine in an envelope?? from my boss, and of course hand shakes and kisses. Those were so sweet and touching. I think I won't have enjoyed this much if I had not felt so down at that night hehe..just kidding...
The truth is that I managed to convince myself that nothing should be upset of on my own b-day....feel like singing "don't worry be happy"

As I get older..I realize that more hardships will come to my life, but as long as I managed to overcome them and not to forget to give thanks for what I have achieved, it should be just all right.... :)

END

Song for the day...

2006-03-22T13:07:00.000+01:00

Bagi yang tidak punya lagunya dan mau mendengarkan
dapat mendengarkan di sini
Radio Blog

You are Holy (Prince of peace) 
G
You are holy (You are holy)
C
You are mighty (You are mighty)
Am
You are worthy (You are worthy)
D
Worthy of praise (Worthy of praise)
G
I will follow (I will follow)
C
I will listen (I will listen)
Am
I will love you (I will love you)
D         G      D          G
All of my days (All of my days)

(Men)         / (Women)
C
I will sing to/   You are the Lord of Lords
D
And worship /     You are the King of Kings
Bm
The King who/     You are the mighty God
C
Is worthy/        Lord of everything
C
I will love him/  You're Emmanuel
D
Adore Him/        You're the Great I am
Em
I will bow down/  You're the Prince of Peace
Bm
Before Him/       Who is the Lamb
C
I will sing to/   You're the Living God
D
And worship /     You're my saving grace
Bm
The King who/     You will reign forever
C
Is worthy/        You are Ancient of Days
C
I will love him/  You're Alpha, Omega
D
Adore Him/        Beginning and End
Em
I will bow down/  You're my Savior, Messiah
A
Before Him/       Redeemer and Friend

(Men and Women Together)
C
You're my Prince of Peace
D
And will live my life for you

BRIDGE             1ª/2ª VEZ          FINAL
Em   D    C       (G/B  C9)         (D/F#  G)
Oh!  Oh!  Oh!

Internet oh internet...

2006-03-17T14:23:00.000+01:00

Not the first time I've got to deal with this matter. Why can I just live peacefully friendly and quietly with Internet???

First time, in 2003, my housemate, Daniel the Dutchman, told me that he could share his internet connection to my computer. Problems; my laptop was too slow to react and it took me 5 minutes to open a website (>.<).....*sigh

Second time, in 2004, when finally the connection had been well established, I went back to Indonesia for holiday. After 5 weeks holiday, I came back and found that Daniel now had stopped his subscription with the ISP because now he got the connection directly from the company where he was working for. Pitty...pitty...Luckily it was only for a month before I went to Sweden.

Third time, in 2004-2005, I left for Sweden to follow my double degree program. This country was just great because they have T3 internet connection, which is a very high-speed internet connection, faster than modem, T1 and T2 (is there anything faster than T3??? then plz let me know ya...). At first, there was no problem...it just went smoothly until...they blocked my MAC address hiks..I went through all the ways to get my connection back..I did it and I got VIRUS in my laptop!!! Poor my laptop, because afterwards I had to re-formatted it for 4 times in one day, one and half hour for each "format process."

Then the school established its private intertet connection, exclusively just for students, still T3 though. Just because my apartment building was old comparing with some other buildings who had just been built about a year ago. The place where I lived in Gavle, Sweden was an area with 6 or 8 four-stories buildings called Satra (add a double ticks on the first A--so that it will be read as Setra)....They, the school IT administrator, forgot that my apartment was belonged to the school,..which means...NO STUDENT INTERNET CONNECTION.
It was a damn cold chilly dark snowy winter, the sun only came out for the maximum 4 hours in a day. My housemate and I were forced to wait for almost 4 weeks before finally they made it. we had no television and of course no internet...can you imagine how did I feel that time?? no different as a dead meat in the freezer..(sorry too exaggerating).

Finally, in 2006, after graduated from Sweden, I moved to a new student room and submitted an application for the internet, digital television, and telephone. There was no internet connection due to some company's problems. Then, the connection was there on Thursday by the end of last February 2006. We were so happy, my nextdoor friends and me, until.......one day. One day, the storm and rain were going on in Amstelveen and the lighting struck the building and cut the connection off.....*beeeeeeeeep The saddest thing in my life.........no internet connection until today *sigh That's why when the connection finally is revived again today, you know ....how much it means for me.

Farewell Pak Pandu

2006-03-16T09:26:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was my dad's birthday. It was supposed to be a happy moment when God bless my dearest daddy with another year and takes care of him until today.

On the same day I got another shocking news from my friend. My dearest English teacher in high school has passed away due to an unexpected cause. For me, he is not an ordinary teacher. He always had his own method in teaching English. His lesson was fun, interactive, and challenging. Sometimes during the lesson, he brought his guitar and sang a long. Geez I missed that moment very much.

Frankly, during my three years in high school, he had taken an important part in shaping up my ability in speaking English in front of the public. I was delighted when he asked me and my other two friends, Indah and Prita for the first time to join the English debate contest in Dipenegoro University. Even the result was dissapointing and I was very nervous, but that was one of the best experience to be standing up in front of the judges and our opponent to defend my opinion.

I was given his trust but I had dissapointed him many times...even on the graduation day, when I was shaking his hand, I could not say how much I regret them and at the same time thank him for everything. Now that he's not around anymore...I would never have the chance to say something that I have reached now because of him.

Mr. Pandu was always be the highest and the biggest teacher in Sedes. With his low and bass tone, he could make the whole class shaking and make your feet tremble when he was angry and another moment he could entertain everyone with his guitar and sing KLA projects's songs. Moreover he has a unique sense of humor, that simply made everyone laugh, love, and respect him as a teacher, a coach, and a big friend. Well, I will never hear that voice anymore even I make a wish to meet him and the other teachers again on next year School's anniversary.
After all, He is the best English teacher that I ever had in my life.

Farewell and rest in peace sir, now your journey has reached the finish line. May God give you the deserved place in His kingdom.

people come and go. When it's time to say goodbye, all we can do is let go...

Oscar 78th (pendapat orang biasa)

2006-03-08T16:34:00.000+01:00

Ada apa dengan acara academy awards ke 78 tahun ini??? Bisa dibilang hasilnya kurang memuaskan para pecintanya dan para penggemar film dunia termasuk saya yang biasanya menjadi pendengar setia para pemenang Oscar sejak dinobatkannya Shakespeare in Love di tahun 1999.

Brokeback Mountain yang dijagokan menjadi film terbaik tahun 2005 terkalahkan oleh film tentang perbedaan ras di Los Angels, CRASH. Ironisnya lagi Crash mengalahkan film si koboi homo dengan jumlah perolehan penghaargaan yang sama, 3 oscar untuk Brokeback dan 3 oscar untuk Crash.

Saya masih ingat ketika film Braveheartnya Mel Gibson menjadi film terbaik 1995 para kritikus dunia sudah menyebutnya sebagai nilai rapot merah dalam sejarah Oscar. Adapun penyebabnya karena film tersebut hanya mampu meraih 5 oscar dari 10 nominasi untuk menjadi film terbaik di tahun itu. Kalau begitu bolehkah saya menyebut tahun 2005 kemarin adalah tahun kebobrokan film dunia?

Para pengamat dunia berkomentar bahwa kualitas film-film yang menjadi nominasi Oscar tahun 2006 ini tidak sebagus tahun sebelumnya. Sebut saja film-film tenar di ajang Oscar 2005 seperti Finding Neverland, The Aviatornya Leonardo di Caprio, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, dan tentu saja pemenang film terbaik Million dollar baby .
Ngomong-ngomong soal bagus-bagusan, sebernarnya, Million Dollar Baby yang memenangkan 4 Oscar di tahun 2005 kalah jauh dari film terbaik tahun sebelumnya apa lagi kalau bukan The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King yang memenangkan 9 Oscar termasuk Gollumnya.

Menurut saya pribadi sebetulnya film-film di tahun 2005 tidak sejelek yang dibicarakan koq. Maklum karena saya orang awam jadi cuma menonton film-film yang menurut saya bagus lalu memberikan penilaian setelah menonton. Jadi mohon maaf saja kalau filmnya koboi homo dan Crash terlewatkan dari daftar nonton saya (hahahaha....sepertinya hal ini juga dipengaruhi oleh keterbatasan saya sebagai student yang duitnya pas-pasan jadi ngapain nonton semua film ya ga???). Berikut adalah film-film yang sudah saya tonton dan masuk nominasi Oscar.

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire--> Harrynya udah gedhe, Hermionne nya cakep..tambah seru saja sayang tidak menang apa-apa :p
The Chronicle of Narnia:The Witch, The Lion, and The Wardrobe-->film keren karya Walt Disney, biar dibilang cuma versi baru dari produksi sebelumnya atau visual efeknya pas-pasan..tetap saja masih keren nyatanya tidak perlu pakai efek aneh-aneh Narnia meraih penghargaan untuk tata rias terbaik.
Memoirs of Geisha-->Nonton di Komputer rumah alias download; gambarnya keren pemandangannya bagus sayang suaranya kurang jelas. Apa ini karena saya menonton film download-an atau karena yang menjadi pemainnya bukan native speakers?
King Kong--> King Kong badannya besar tapi sayang kakinya pendek...lalalala..film yang seharusnya sedih dan mengharukan ini menjadi lebih hidup, memiliki unsur komedi yang tidak dibuat-buat, dan menjadi lebih mengharukan di tangan arahan Peter Jackson. Apa lagi dengan sound effect yang menggelegar ketika Kong bertarung dengan Rex. Tak diragukan lagi kalau penghargaain sound editing dan sound mixing jatuh ke tangan film ini (kaya kejatuhan duren kali yak...). Adegan di King Kong lama dan King Kong yang baru adalah ketika si Kong membawa cewek kesayangannya sambil memanjat gedung pencakar langit.
Munich--> sebenarnya saya tidak ada rencana menonton film pembantaian atlet Israel di ajang olimpiade di Jerman ini. Saya akui film ini efeknya bagus terutama buat adegan tembak-tembakan dan berdarah-darah. Yang main juga keren aktingnya bagus siapa lagi kalau bukan Eric Banan yang jadi Hulk dan sutradaranya pak Steven Spielberg. Sayang juga film ini tidak menang apa-apa dan reputasi pak Spielbergpun dikalahkan oleh Ang Lee yang tak lain adalah sutradaranya film koboi homo, Brokeback Mountain.
Walk The Line-->nonton di komputer juga. Kepingini nonton karena dengar-dengar pemeran utama cowok dan ceweknya memenangkan Globe Awards. Filmnya baguslah..banyak adegan menyanyinya. Sambil nonton sambil bertanya-tanya apakah mas Joaquin dan mbak Reesee benar-benar memiliki suara sebagus itu? Ternyata baru menonton setengah jalan..........saya ketiduran dan kemudian malah menonton Schindler's Listnya Steven Spielberg. Jadi...maaf kalau tidak bisa berkomentar apa-apa meskipun mbak Reesee jadi pemeran wanita terbaik tahun ini. (^o^)v *piss

Sekian dulu dan terima kasih.

Not born to cook but...

2006-03-07T16:35:00.000+01:00

"I cannot cook" that was the sentence that I always told my friends in my first year in Holland. My roommate and not few of my other friends were really good in cooking and the good news they hardly cooked only for themselves. Honestly speaking, I really wasn't able to cook except boiling water, frying egg and other frozen food, and of course instant noodle. Even worse, I was a bad taster because I don't mind if it is too salty or not salty enough. For me, those cookings were simply much better than my cookings.

I didn't bluff about this cooking thing. Once I ever tried to cook a tomato soup with sausage and carrots for myself. It turned to be smelling good and looked delicious even my roommate admitted it because some minutes after she was tempted enough to taste it. Well, I don't think it is necessary to tell you what happened next..since afterwards she really forbade me to cook again and told me that from that time onward she would handle those cooking stuff in our room. Was it a good news (I mean when there was someone who cooked for me) or was that something that I should be shamed on as a woman?

Luckily I didn't have any boyfriend at that time. When finally I have one, I think that was the first time that I really wished to learn how to cook. However, to own such cooking ability in a short time was not as easy as turning the hand's palm. In the end, I ended up by having him cook for me instead I cooked for him and he never gave me a permission to cook anymore. Obviously, because my cooking would mostly turn out to be something weird and the taste was beyond your imagination (you know what I mean).

It is not that my efforts to learn cooking resulted in nothing. For very simple cuisines such as Tuna fried rice or friend noodle, I could make it quite well or at least eatable :p

Then I left for Sweden for a year. I think that was the best time to learn cooking and everybody would not hesitate to taste it because they never got any bad experience of my creations. Furhtermore, due to the fact my roomate and my friends were not there neither were my boyfriend and other people who used to cook for me, I had to make my own food to survive.

Now I can cook....normal foods. Even my friends and my boyfriend can trust what I am cooking now. Thanks GOD...He made everything possible.

This was something that finally made me believe when someone would like to progress in something, it is better to move to a new place or go to several place where you don't know before and none knows about you. Clearly because, people who stay in one place forever and never move out will get less chance to make significant progress or changes than those who always move from one to another place and meet new people. That's why people need experiences if they want to move forward.

END

Lead us not into temptation

2006-03-01T15:29:00.000+01:00

"...lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one..." --bring us to follow Your way not to go with "my way"

(this writing is a reflection of the preach that I heard about two weeks ago)

Why should we ask Him not to lead us into temptation?

As a mortal human being, we often do not realize that we put ourselves into a problematic problem, which later on results in what it is called "a sin".

don't too fast to accuse Satan for all the sins that we have made. If you think it over, actually he just is sitting down, cheering us, and proudly looks at the sinful things we make everyday with a big big smile.

Yes, you may say he might be the project leader and the one who made the sinful proposal. But don't you think that we are still the boss who have the power to decide to do or turn down the plan, right?

Don't blame The Almighty Creator, if we fell into the temptations. God never tempt people and He cannot be tempted. What He is doing is testing us in order to purify and polish us to be shining like gold. It is true that Satan was asking a permission from God when he wanted to lure Job in order to prove JobÂs obedience towards God. It does not mean that God cooperates with Satan to tempt humans. In contrast, He has a full power over the good and evil, nothing can happen without his permission.

So, why does God let us fall into temptations?

Human is not created as a robot. God bless everyone with free will. A grace to choose, a gift to say no, even a gift to do everything that we want no matter it is bad or good. Remembering the Bruce Almighty movie, Bruce (Jim Carrey) could not force Grace Jenniferr Aniston) to love him again. That is something, which is totally up to each of us to do whatever with the gift.

The question is not about why God lets us into temptations but why we choose to tempt ourselves.

Say about the 3G cause; Girl, Gold, Glory or frankly, sex, money, and power. What is bigger and more tempting than these three sources that can bring us to the world most desirable pleasure.

If we know already those three are sources of temptations, why do we still bring ourselves into a temptation island (especially for students like us)?

By watching temptation island on tv
Visiting various porn websites
Reading adults kind stories
Forcing girlfriend or boyfriend to stay a night
By asking dad to send more money by saying a lie the living cost is too high or the school's fee is increasing, and so on.....
Or in contrast, working too hard, skipping many classes, and postpone to graduate just to stay longer in a country and earn money.....becoming money oriented.
By using the image of rich parents to get more respect, even worse to intimidate others

I don't say that I am clean from all of above. However, even God will never take our freedom of using the free will gift, He mentioned clearly the result of sins is dead and punishment in the eternity fire where people cannot die even they want to die. On the other hand, we cannot ask God not to tempt us because He simply never does BUT we can ask Him to forgive us, show the way, and drift us away from things that make us repeat the same mistake. I think that's why in His prayer He said to Father to lead us not into temptation because we are easily dragged to that wide and shinny road (where any kinds of temptations are waiting) than the narrow and difficult one.

Kosong

2006-02-22T16:33:00.000+01:00

Sedang tidak ada ide. Semua yang terpikirkan tahu-tahu hilang begitu saja. Saya tidak tahu mau menulis apa sekarang. Mengapa saya menulis sekarang juga tidak jelas alasannya. Apakah ini sesuatu yang menyedihkan atau sesuatu yang perlu disyukuri karena segala macam pikiran hilang begitu saja termasuk hal-hal yang membuat hati gundah dan stress.

Kosong............apakah ini akibat overload atau memang sedang ingin nge-blank saja? Kalau memang sedang kepingin ngeblank saja, sebentar juga pikiran-pikiran baru akan masuk dan mungkin masalah-masalah lama mulai dapat diselesaikan satu per satu. Apa ini sama dengan refreshing??

Namun kalau sedang overload, mungkin semuanya akan terlupakan begitu saja seperti baru saja di-reset. Back to zero..........asal belum sampai gila atau kehilangan diri saja sepertinya tidak mengapa kalau harus kehilangan beberapa ingatan :p

Ah sudahlah..lama-lama kalau hal ini terus dipikirkan bisa-bisa makin sering overload.

Banyak belajar banyak yang lupa
Belajar sedikit sedikit pula yan lupa
Tidak belajar tidak ada yang terlupa...alias tidak tahu apa2..

A valentine's chronicle

2006-02-14T10:53:00.000+01:00

I never knew before what the importance of Valentine's day. Even people often said valentine does not always mean you should spend with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but still they associate this red-pink-day with a couple's things.
Some days or a week ahead before 14 February, many TV commercials, newspaper advertisements offer a price for two or a special package for two.

I remembered those days, when I accompanied my girl-friends shopping various chocolates with a cute decoration such as a forever friend holding the chocolate or one red rose with a heart-shape "I love you" chocolate.

Also at school, sometime, those who had already got a lover, they exchanged gift one to another in front of their classmates that made the whole class shouted those yell "whohooooo....!!!" and the couple's cheeks turned red.

My friend who was sitting beside me told me excitingly that he was going to ask his girlfriend out for dinner at a restaurant and then give her a pleasant surprise, a silver ring that he seek my advice before finally he decided to buy it. I thought how a sweet boyfriend he was (of course sweet for his girlfriend). Wished to have a boyfriend like him but not him and he was not my type :p

When I came back to my dorm, I saw overwhelming faces on my girl-friends who got some packs of chocolate and valentine cards. Then they started counting, comparing, and chatting about the boys who gave them those sweet gifts. I joined the conversation and answered them that I had got a bear-shape handmade chocolate from my bestfriend.

Honestly, there was a moment when I was jealous of my friends because I have no close boy-friend who would give me chocolate on V's day. "No boy-friends no chocolate" but it is not true actually. I still could proudly say that I got the best gift on my valentine as my bestfriend was there for me. Well a friend does last forever right?

2 years after my last valentine in High School, I met my someone who, later, officially became my first valentine. Our first valentine as a couple was spent alone because he was living in other city and that day he had to work part time in a restaurant. In contrast, I was enjoying my quiet moment at home while receiving some valentine text messages from my friends which most of them with a little quote "share this day with someone you love..." Well next year I guessed. Anyway, I did not feel lonely as there was someone who cared and told me how he wished to be with me at this moment.

A year after, 2005, I was in other country when it was close to Valentine day. My housemate and I shared the same feeling of having someone in other part of this continent. We shopped together and bought a valentine card to be sent later.

My someone did not prepare any gift for me, and he really did. Instead, he was flying to meet me on Valentine day. I think it was the best gift that he gave me *smile*

This year valentine is not less surprise. He called me that night to say happy valentine and he told me to open one of shelf in my wardrobe. A lovely scarf was wrapped nicely with a card on the top of it and kept safely in a little black bag. He had put it there when I was not aware. I'm so excited back then. Does a girl really love surprise? Well I don't know exactly but I like the way he treated me. The best thing that I got this year's valentine is not only the scarf but it is also a gift of having someone who care about me and I care about him.
A lover might not be last forever, but when you are with him/her, that could be the best thing that ever happened in your life.

At last valentine is not the matter of always giving and receiving chocolate or other presents. To acknowledge that there is/are someone/people that love you and care about you so much, after all I think it is the most beautiful thing of all.

Happy Valentine...:)

Notpron continued level 26-30 (hardest ones)

2006-02-13T15:28:00.000+01:00

Tadaima!!! Quite surprising me that many people are playing this game all over the world and not few of them are looking for the answers or the walkthrough by using the quick use of "search engine" and "keywords." However it is not obvious enough to know how many people who really try to get into next level or how many of them are only looking for the answers. Well, actually it is not one of my business since some of the levels I did cheat too :p

Ok, here we go with notpron level 26 until 30.
Level 26 (Number twenty six)
http://deathball.net/notpron/screen26/
Open the page source and you should find the source code for the picture in this level--> "screen26.jpg" and copy it to the url. The second thing can be found at the source page is a sentence that says "The top left corner number NEVER lies, keep that in mind" this hint is useful to get through from level 26 to level 30.
Back to the picture page: the picture displayed in screen26.jpg is a zipper, means that if you change the url from screen26.jpg to screen26.zip, you will get a hidden zip file.

Level 27
it is in the file. yes, its 27 in here. i hope it helps you to get from 26 to 28
Level 27 said 26 needs more t***s, b**bs. Then please go back to the level 26 page. Do you remember when I told you that notpron is the connotation of not-porn??? then if you want to see t***s change the url from notpron into pron. I hope this helps you to get into level 28.

Level 28 (#28)
http://deathball.net/pron/screen26/
the top left corner NEVER lies (it's in the source page dude). What do you need to access level 29 is changing the url number from screen26 into screen29. Tadaa...welcome to level 29!!

Level 29 (#29)
http://deathball.net/pron/screen29/
we are still wrong in some way.....what's wrong??? I tried to change the link into screen30 but it does not work that way. Yeah you're right we are playing notpron and want to go to level 30. Change pron into notpron and screen29 into screen30. Enter the username and password that are available on this webpage.

Level30 (Right in the creators' face)
http://deathball.net/notpron/screen30/
whose picture is that? what is the name of the creators? I mean the group leader. This time go to the deathball website and check out the team's link. Hey it's David's picture..but David who??? Click on his picture and ctrl+a or sellect all to read his message. He's not David B..but David M (M is the initial of his last name anyway for those who don't know). Yeah, more like it...the answer is on the right bottom of David M.
Level 31's link: http://deathball.net/notpron/screen30/davidandhism.htm

Veel plezier jongens!!! morgen is valentijn dag...!!! maar ja, moet ik nog werken

Lagu cinta jaman doloe...

2006-02-11T23:05:00.000+01:00

Bagi saudara-saudara yang sekarang sudah berusia sekitar 20 ke atas pasti tahu lirik lagu berikut yang di populerkan oleh Gombloh...sori tahunnya saya lupa :p

GOMBLOH - Kugadaikan Cinta
Laaa.......lalala........lala...

Di radio aku dengar lagu kesayanganmu

Kutelepon di rumah mu sedang apa sayangku

Kuharap engkau mendengar

Dan kukatakan rindu

Malam minggu pukul tujuh aku apel di rumah mu

Kubersiul dan bernyanyi membayangkan dirimu

Bercanda dan bercumbu duduk berdua denganmu

Tetapi mimpi apa aku semalam

Kulihat engkau duduk berdua

Bercanda mesra dengan seorang pria

Kau cubit kau peluk kau cium

Di radio aku dengar lagu kesayangan mu

Kututupi telingaku dengan dua tanganku

Biarlah cepat berlalu dan kugadaikan cintaku

Kugantungkan cintaku yeee..

Kugadaikan cintaku ....

Laaaa..lalala....lala..

Nostalgiaku di tahun '80an

2006-02-09T13:08:00.000+01:00

Bukan, kita2 bukan kumpulan manula usia 80-an. Belum setua itu lah... cing. Walopun emang masa jaya kita2, saat2 bisa nglakuin apa aja nggak pake mikir panjang, udah lewat...

Blog ini didedikasikan untuk mengenang taon2 yang indah itu. Dekade 80-an!!

Biar aja orang pada bilang norak, jadul, najong, memble... yang penting kita2 tetep merasa kece dan juga hepi bisa bernostalgia

Oke Coy!! (http://lapanpuluhan.blogspot.com/)

Begitulah kutipan dari sebuah blog berbahasa Indonesia yang mengulas pernak-pernik di tahun 80an. Setelah membaca beberapa postnya, saya merasa menjadi bagian dalam era tahun 80an itu meskipun pada akhir tahun 80an, 1989-1990, saya masih berusia 5 tahun. Sebut saja hal-hal di bawah ini yang cukup mewarnai masa kecil saya juga.
- Game watch (Super Mario Bros dan Green House) ( yang super mario tidak ketemu gambarnya, yang green house ini permainannya mematikan serangga yang mau makan tanaman)

- Kaset video sewaan (ada yang warna hijau untuk semua umur, yang biru untuk 13 tahun ke atas termasuk di antaranya film-film Warkop DKI, dan yang berwarna merah untuk usia 17 tahun ke atas)

- Panggung boneka si Unyil (masih ingat kan ma Unyil, Cuplis, Pak Ogah, bu Bariah, dan siapa yang ga kenal ma pak Raden yang pelit galak?? gara-gara nonton cerita unyil yang ada adegan nasi-nasi yang menangis, sejak saat itu saya tidak pernah membuang-buang makanan lagi)

- Drama Oshin jam 18.30 WIB sebelum sholat mahgrib (drama Jepang yang mempopulerkan kebudayaan Jepang di televisi Indonesia termasuk salah satunya menyebut anak yang punya kulit putih bermata sipit dibilang mirip Oshin)

-Sinetron Losmen di hari Rabu malem yang bercerita tentang keseharian keluarga pak Broto

-Jaya-jayanya berbagai film Indo mulai dari yang komedi Dono Kasino Indro, Ateng dan Ishkak, yang romantis seperti Catatan si Boy filmnya Ira Maya Shopa, terus film laganya Barry Prima ma Eva Arnaz, sampai yang horor kaya Tuyul dan Sundel Bolong ( serius saya sudah pernah menonton semuanya meskipun hanya siaran ulang di layar kaca ). Tercatat terakhir kali FFI (Festival Film Indonesia) diadakan adalah tahun 1992 setelah itu dunia perfilman Indonesia mati sampai sekitar tahun 2004. Syukurlah sekarang film-film layar lebar mulai bermunculan kembali di tanah air kita.

-Jajanan ama snack: sebut saja nama-nama berikut seperti kreep-kreep, anak mas, pindy, wafer superman, chiki, choki-choki, ama nyam-nyam, jagoan neon. Yang saya tahu beberapa di antara produk ini masih ada dalam kemasan yang baru, meskipun demikian rasanya sudah agak berubah kaya si anakmas yang kini hanya tersedia dalam rasa ayam dan bumbunya makin dikit, mienya sama saja tetap sedikit huuuuuuuuuuuuuu.............

Demikianlah sekilas dari pengetahuan saya di tahun 80an. Cukup menarik juga untuk menyadari bahwa 21 tahun kehidupan saya di bumi ini telah memiliki sebuah nostalgia di tahun 80an. Mungkin tidak selama dan sebanyak nostalgia jaman mama-papa kita atau emak dan engkong kita, tetapi dengan menengok kembali ke masa 16 tahun yang lalu, saya sudah dapat melihat betapa banyaknya hal yang sudah berubah di Indonesia sejak tahun itu.

Diary

2006-02-07T10:23:00.000+01:00

I hardly wrote something about myself anymore. If you read this blog, you may find almost no post talking about my daily life. Maybe some of you might have known that I used to write on a diary. A real diary not an online journal one. All my happiness, sad moments, or even my angers were poured on every page of a book. The book is called diary because it recorded the daily life of mine. When it is empty it is no difference with a normal notebook with "diary" title in front of some of the books' cover.

Everyday, everything I was in the mood, I took my pen and wrote a story about what has happened to me. Then, I kept the book in the place that I considered none knew. However, there was always someone who was curious about what I had written. When I was away, that person sneaked in my room and tried to find my diary. It was true that I wrote something not good of that person because I was angry. The story was recorded because I just didn't want to release my anger to her.... Anyway in the end the person found my diary and read it through every story I wrote especially that divulged her name. The day after she stopped talking to me in sudden, looked at me with suspicious look and I knew nothing but her hatred. Until one day her mother told my mom that she had read my diary and that explained anything that happened between that person and me.

So much sore just because some pieces of stories on the pages. Even worse, the stories were something that had already been in the past. Since that day...I stop writing on my diary again.

Hal mengucap syukur

2006-01-31T16:58:00.000+01:00

Kapan kita harus mengucap syukur?
Pada saat cobaan datang pada saat ujian gagal, saat kehilangan orang yang disayangi, bahkan pada saat nyawa kita hampir melayang masihkah kita dapat mengucap syukur? Saya percaya masing-masing pribadi memiliki jawabannya sendiri tentang pertanyaan ini.

Orang berterima kasih ketika mendapatkan sesuatu yang baik. Kadang tak jarang juga karena sesuatu itu too good to be true orang menjadi lupa untuk berterima kasih karena tenggelam dalam suatu perasaan bahagia yang berlebihan.
Demikian pula sebaliknya ketika seseorang tertimpa sesuatu yang menyedihkan. Karena teralu menyedihkan dan menyengsarakan dirinya, jarang orang berusaha mencari apa arti dan pelajaran yang bisa diambil sehingga kelak dia dapat bersyukur atas terjadinya hal itu.

Pernahkah anda mendengar when you lost something you will gain something from it? Dalam bahasa Indonesianya mungkin kita sering mendengar sengsara membawa nikmat yang artinya dari setiap hal buruk yang pernah terjadi pada diri seseorang ada sesuatu nilai yang bisa diambil atau lebih jelasnya ada sesuatu yang bisa disyukuri. Kalau hal ini benar adanya, apakah ini menjawab pertanyaan mengapa kapan saja kita bisa mengucap syukur? Baik ketika bahagia ataupun berduka?

Dalam babak final pemilihan Miss Universe 2001, setiap finalis secara terpisah mendapatkan sebuah pertanyaan yang sama tentang jika ada, apakah yang ingin mereka rubah di masa lampaunya. Dalam konotasi lain, pertanyaan ini menanyakan apakah mereka ingin merubah hal buruk yang pernah terjadi dalam hidupnya. Dari keempat finalis miss universe 2001, hanya miss India yang menjawab kalau diberi kesempatan kedua dia ingin mendapatkan kembali masa yang hilang ketika dia sakit di tempat tidur selama setahun lamanya. Bukan berarti ketiga kontestan lain tidak memiliki masa lalu yang suram. Salah satu dari antaranya adalah Miss Puerto Rico yang berasal dari broken home dan ibundanya dinyatakan positif menderita kanker payudara. Melalui berbagai dilemma dan penderitaannya, dia mengungkapkan betapa masa lalunya yang membuatnya kini dapat menjadi orang yang lebih kuat dan bahkan dapat membawanya sebagai finalis di kontes kecantikan ratu sejagad ini. Sebagai hasilnya, mahkota miss universe 2001 dianugerahkan kepadanya.

Buat saya sendiri, kadang mengucap syukur itu sulit untuk dilakukan. Apalagi ketika mood sedang jelek dan rasanya semua serba salah, rasanya tidak ada yang bisa disyukuri. Namun kalau pada akhirnya kita bisa menerima keadaan dan mencoba mengatakan "terima kasih Tuhan" minimal separo dari beban kita rasanya sudah hilang. Mungkin lewat tulisan ini saya tidak bisa menerangkan secara jelas apa arti bersyukur, walaupun begitu saya bersyukur karena bisa membagikan sedikit dari pikiran saya di blog ini.

10 facts about "3" and me

2006-01-28T22:41:00.000+01:00

My name is formed from 3 alphabets.
I was born in the third moth of the year.
The year when I was born divided by 628 is equal with 3.
I am now in the age that can be divided into three and result in seven.
During my school life from kindergarten to college I have been living in three countries Indonesia, Holland, and Sweden.
I am the eldest from the three siblings in my family.
My brother, my sister, and I, were born in three different provinces in Java Island.
I have a mobile number which all of the numbers except the 8 one, correlate with three and I call it a nice series-->06 45 09 (8) 327
I just love this number...
Finally all the things you read here are such a coincidence but after all it is true.... *put a big and proud smile*

Notrpon 22 23 24 25

2006-01-06T14:27:00.000+01:00

"Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu..kotoshimo yoroshiku onegaishimasu" (^o^)
Happy New Year 2006 and again I am still stucking on the same level in Notpron hohohoho...
So here is some of the next levels.

Level 22 (omg jeez!)
http://deathball.net/notpron/beepbeep/banana.htm
Omg the answer is unexpected...really..don't take too long and get to the next level

Level 23 (I'm the tininest unit you can see)
http://deathball.net/notpron/beepbeep/unexpected.htm
I don't understand German but since the German language is in the picture not text, the tiniest thing you can see in a picture is "pixel" then change the url into pixel.htm
(huh I'm tiny) ya, I'm small and red, zoom for me . Zoom the tiny red thing you can see in the picture and spell out. It would be read as "music"

Level 24 ( 0_o )
http://deathball.net/notpron/beepbeep/music.htm
Check the page source and find a chain of number. Last time I found 639853835
Get your phone and convert the numbers into a word that makes sense :p
answer: nextlevel

Level 25 (FF0000)
http://deathball.net/notpron/beepbeep/nextlevel.htm
For those who know about computer and html code, the title of this level can be translated into the hex code of red colour. You could try it on http://www.colorschemer.com/online.html . Click on everywhere on the picture you will find the second color (#0000ff) is the hex of blue color. By assuming the hint from the page source "multiply OR limit channels..." it can be concluded you need to edit the picture by using some program such as photoshop or other picture editor program that has RGB filter in the option. Try to change the RGB channels and then eliminate the green colour, then the red too, or the other way around remove the green and blue so only red colour left. Now two random words have appeared.
Username: riddle password: solved

Good luck..!!

Notpron level 21 what a stupid maze

2005-12-24T01:21:00.000+01:00

http://deathball.net/notpron/twentyone/again.htm
Level yang butuh waktu cukup lama untuk memecahkannya. Di source page terdapat petunjuk "first to beat it: [zeend_22] stupid maze :p" Dengan mengetahui gambar yang dipakai untuk level ini adalah "white.jpg" maka dengan gantilah urlnya dengan berbagai warna yang tertulis (mulai dari blue.jpg sampai black.jpg) anda akan mendapatkan potongan-potongan gambar yang kalau digabung akan membentuk maze seperti gambar berikut:
The Stupid Maze!!

Dengan memecahkan maze ini maka akan terbaca dua kata sebagai berikut:
Beating the stupid maze

Hore naek ke level 22...hohohohohoo (^o^)v

Notpron level 11-20

2005-12-23T13:41:00.000+01:00

Those hints that I wrote here are also reminders for me if I'm going to repeat my game from the very first level. (to see the level's url, username and password please highlight the whole page). I hope this is some of helps....(^_^)

Level 11 (ahead of its time)
http://deathball.net/notpron/reality/mystery.htm
cek source page dan temukan bahwa gambar di level ini memakai file bernama screen12.jpg walaupun ini masih level 11. Dengan mengganti url menjadi .../screen11.jpg sebagai ganti .../screen12.jpg anda akan menemukan potongan gambar lain dengan username dan password untuk level ini (terangkan layar monitor anda untuk melihat lebih jelas).
username: fucking password: pans

Level 12 (stereo)
http://deathball.net/notpron/blame/crossview.htm
Temukan sebuah perbedaan pada dua gambar yang tersaji maka level ini akan terpecahkan. Tidak menemukan?? Lihat source page. Ada 3 petunjuk yang tersedia "switch pics for parallel view" ; "GIF me my picture back"; dan sebuah zip file (the last hint is not the answer though yet still fun). Ganti url dengan gambar yang dipakai untuk level ini ".../realscreen12.jpg" untuk melihat gambar yang bergerak ganti file extensionnya menjadi .gif ..(you'll find a thing that consists of two words).
username: remote password:control

Level 13 (lucy not in the sky)
http://deathball.net/notpron/ps/afterdeath.htm
Dengan menggerakan pointer ke berbagai area pada halaman ini maka beberapa dialog box akan muncul (2 of 5) (3 of 5) (x of 5) (x of 5) (4 of 5). Perhatikan baik-baik di setiap area di mana dialog box bermunculan terdapat sebuah huruf. (2of5)=E (3of5)=V (5of5)=L (xof5)=I (xof5)=D. Siapa itu Lucy? Lucy berada di mana? "he's been a bad boy"(didapat dari source page) ...
Lucy adalah "_EV_L" --->password (tulis dengan huruf kecil): devil
dia tinggal di "_ _ _ _" (in English)--->username: hell

Level 14 (He knew the feeling)
http://deathball.net/notpron/neo/beenthere.htm
Jangan lupa melihat source page di sana terdapat petunjuk untuk menemukan password dan username (meskipun tidak selalu (-__-;) )
"don't use opera here!
what language is the password hint? use it properly!"
Pernah melihat gambar yang mirip ini sebelumnya? di level manakah? Dinamakan apa perasaan seperti ini? "harap ditulis dengan tanda baca yang benar"
username: deja /déjà (dengan garis miring ke kanan di atas e dan garis miring ke kiri di atas a)
password: vu

Level 15 (hit the keys)
http://deathball.net/notpron/rusty/board.htm
Klik pada kenop pipa. Sebelum itu baca petunjuk pada source page

 [1] 4 [2] 1 [3] 6 [2] 3 [1] 9 [3] 7
[2] 2 6 [1] 8 5

dengan menggunakan babel fish translation bahasa perancis di baris paling bawah diterjemahkan sebagai "your keyboard is erroneous." Dengan menggunakan keyboard komputer maka angka-angka di atas e.g. [1] 4 dapat diterjemahkan sebagai baris pertama huruf nomer 4 dari kiri maka anda akan mendapatkan huruf "r" dst.
username: random
password: shit

Level 16 (resume)
http://deathball.net/notpron/zoo/mznvh.htm
Untuk membuat sebuah resume diperlukan deskripsi dari pengalaman-pengalaman yang pernah terjadi. Maka dari itu, janganlah lupa mencatat semua password dan username dari level pertama untuk menyelesaikan level ini :p
Petunjuknya "invert az" dengan kata lain a=z dan z=a
dan "# = ellwll/hrnkov/proo" dapat diganti dengan #=voodoo/simple/kill--> tanda # berfungsi untuk mengubah huruf dengan lawannya.
Bentuklah 2 buah kata dari setiap urutan huruf pada username & password dari setiap gambar dan ganti huruf dengan lawannya untuk setiap huruf yang memiliki # di depannya.
Level 4--> voodoo power; huruf ke 4 adalah "d"
username: doom password: murder

Level 17 (aliens are coming)
http://deathball.net/notpron/finale/pron.htm
Hohoho....level yang tidak membutuhkan waktu banyak kecuali menebak gambar yak gambar apakah ini? atau cahaya apakah ini?? lalu masukan jawabannya dalam bahasa inggris ke link nya. Yang pasti jawabannya bukan url yang satu ini hehehe...http://deathball.net/notpron/finale/notpron.htm
answer: it is a "lamp" dude...

Level 18 (sorry, going on for some more time)
http://deathball.net/notpron/finale/lamp.htm
Di sini kemampuan menebak melodi diperlukan untuk mengganti url dengan kata yang tepat. Pergilah ke source page dan downloadlah mus4.mp3
Kalau file musiknya belum diganti maka anda akan mendengar nada "abec" yang diualang dua kali dengan oktaf yang berbeda. Jawabannya bukan itu, saya di sini perlu menggunakan cheat karena kemampuan musik yang terbatas. Dengan mengubah 1=F maka "abec" dapat dibaca sebagai "deaf"

Level 19 (he moved it into the right direction)
http://deathball.net/notpron/finale/deaf.htm
Kesan pertama, level ini serem juga karena ada tangan item nunjuk-nunjuk ke arah kiri (left). By the way username dan passwordnya sudah tersedia di source pagenya. "xfjse tuvgg" kalau anda masih menyimpan baris huruf yang dipakai untuk level 16, maka setiap huruf pada kata di atas bisa disubstitusi dengan satu huruf yang berada di sebelah kirinya.
username: weird password: stuff

Level 20 (Numbers, Text, Fonts and stuff...)
http://deathball.net/notpron/windows/something.php
Ketika level-level sebelumnya banyak memakai htm atau html page, kali ini urlnya memakai php. Meskipun begitu penyelesaiaanya tidak ada hubungannya dengan php (maybe). Petunjuknya, di mana biasanya kita bisa menemukan program WINDOWS yang memiliki numbers, text, fonts, dsb.? Dengan mengabaikan angka-angka dan hitungan yang ada maka yang tertinggal adalah simbol-simbol dari windings2 Microsoft Word.